At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied,
"Yes I am, I married the wrong man."


Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.


When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife.


A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next
day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."



Equal time ladies...

Men are like department stores.... their clothes should always be half off.


Men are like vacations.... they never seem to be long enough.


Men are like computers... hard to figure out and never have enough memory.


Men are like coolers... load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.


Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.


Men are like coffee.... the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.


Men are like horoscopes.... they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.


Men are like plungers... they spend most of their lives in a hard ware store or the bathroom.


Men are like cement.... after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.