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Topic: Can you overcome differences in a relationship?
lilangel2's photo
Mon 06/23/08 07:51 AM
Do we really need to be alike?

How alike should we be for a realtionship to truly work?
I have noticed these little differences in Peccy and I.

Peccy is a cat person, I am more of a dog person
Peccy likes the indoors, I love the outdoors
Peccy smokes, I don't
Peccy is a night owl, I am more of a day person

Yet, we are soo alike in other ways and sooo drawn to each other.

no photo
Mon 06/23/08 07:53 AM

Do we really need to be alike?

How alike should we be for a realtionship to truly work?
I have noticed these little differences in Peccy and I.

Peccy is a cat person, I am more of a dog person
Peccy likes the indoors, I love the outdoors
Peccy smokes, I don't
Peccy is a night owl, I am more of a day person

Yet, we are soo alike in other ways and sooo drawn to each other.
go for it......opposites do attract,right?bigsmile

Grizzly52's photo
Mon 06/23/08 07:53 AM
being diverse in your interests and things is great ..makes for more of a challenge...your ying to his yang...well something like that

no photo
Mon 06/23/08 07:54 AM
if you want to, sure.

no photo
Mon 06/23/08 07:57 AM
besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts!laugh

livelife68's photo
Mon 06/23/08 07:57 AM

Do we really need to be alike?

How alike should we be for a realtionship to truly work?
I have noticed these little differences in Peccy and I.

Peccy is a cat person, I am more of a dog person
Peccy likes the indoors, I love the outdoors
Peccy smokes, I don't
Peccy is a night owl, I am more of a day person

Yet, we are soo alike in other ways and sooo drawn to each other.


Now list the things that are similar in your hearts not differences in your personalities. Find your answer?

lilangel2's photo
Mon 06/23/08 07:57 AM

besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts!laugh


Peccy-poo is AWESOME! love

JTstrang's photo
Mon 06/23/08 07:58 AM
can cause a lot stress as well. Depends how much your willing to work with the other person and how much you're able to understand.

RJR1's photo
Mon 06/23/08 07:59 AM
My bflove and I have a few little differences, but it all iron out in the end.

no photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:00 AM


besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts!laugh


Peccy-poo is AWESOME! love
then.........go for it!!!!drinker

Puffins1958's photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:01 AM
You will never know if they are significant enough to make a differnece in your life until you get to MEET one another. Until then just enjoy each other!!!!!!

flowerforyou :heart: flowerforyou


lilangel2's photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:03 AM



besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts!laugh


Peccy-poo is AWESOME! love
then.........go for it!!!!drinker


I have already went for it! :wink: I'm just hoping it will last bigsmile

s1owhand's photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:08 AM
Edited by s1owhand on Mon 06/23/08 08:10 AM
oh hell there have been many happy relationships with more differences than that!! but you should discuss with each other how you would work things out....

for example - cats or dogs or both or neither?

alternate indoor and outdoor adventures on vacation?
go to places that have both? what activities will you
do together and which will you do separately with friends?

does Peccy quit smoking? smoke outside the house?
have a smoking room? how about cigars? pipes? ban on
clove cigarettes? does he need to shower, brush teeth,
mouthwash, clothes wash after ahem indulgement?

what are the sleeping times? do you stay up and party
late a few nights a week or try to make every day's
schedule similar? just how flexible are each of you?
or is one or both of you completely inflexible on how
certain things are done?

if you are both flexible and willing then all of these
differences can be accommodated. it is just a little more
work than if there were fewer or more minor differences...

flowerforyou

and congratulations to both of you!!

bigsmile

no photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:09 AM




besides......your "peccy-poo" seems like a nice guy......i always enjoy his posts!laugh


Peccy-poo is AWESOME! love
then.........go for it!!!!drinker


I have already went for it! :wink: I'm just hoping it will last bigsmile
only the sand in an hour glass can test time......only a clock can tell you what time it is......but your heart knows nothing about time...it doesnt need too.....it knows only forever......smokin

lilangel2's photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:15 AM
Edited by lilangel2 on Mon 06/23/08 08:18 AM

oh hell there have been many happy relationships with more differences than that!! but you should discuss with each other how you would work things out....

for example - cats or dogs or both or neither?

alternate indoor and outdoor adventures on vacation?
go to places that have both? what activities will you
do together and which will you do separately with friends?

does Peccy quit smoking? smoke outside the house?
have a smoking room? how about cigars? pipes? ban on
clove cigarettes? does he need to shower, brush teeth,
mouthwash, clothes wash after ahem indulgement?

what are the sleeping times? do you stay up and party
late a few nights a week or try to make every day's
schedule similar? just how flexible are each of you?
or is one or both of you completely inflexible on how
certain things are done?

if you are both flexible and willing then all of these
differences can be accommodated. it is just a little more
work than if there were fewer or more minor differences...

flowerforyou

and congratulations to both of you!!

bigsmile


Well on the pet issue, I have both...but cats are generally outdoors while the li'l doggys are spoilt and on inside. (Aslo got one spoilt sleeping with me, Peccy says he don't sleep with dogs- but I can compromise and put her in a cage as long as she can stay in the room.)

As for smoking. Only compromise here would be for him to smoke outside. I have allergies.

Sleeping patterns can be a problem. I don't function well sleeping late in day. I like to rise early and get my work done and play rest of day.

I think the recreational part we could compromise on ok. I do like to be home some too and work on hobbies.

I would do almost anything within reason and that wouldn't harm my health for him. I love him and I give my all to a relationship.But, giving should also be a two way street.






no photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:20 AM
I can relate to this.


If you find compatibility in the things that matter most to you both, that's a good sign.

It is also a good sign if you are able to overlook the differences. However, we tend to be better able to overlook differences and things that irk us about another person when the relationship is young and in full bloom. When things are going well. When they are not, things will irritate us more.

Differences are wonderful and are best celebrated, in my opinion. drinker It just means you have interesting ideas, experiences, and more to bring to the relationship. We learn from each other and grow. We hope that it will help us to gain tolerance for others and for lifestyles we do not understand (yet think we do).

If the differences are destructive to your mind, body, or spirit, you owe it to yourself and yours to re evaluate and assess if any particular situation is right for you, however. No one can decide that for you because you are the only one who will be living your life.

Best Wishes. flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:26 AM
I you wanted to be with someone exactly like you, wouldnt you have just stayed single and date yourself???:wink:

Life is full of compromise no matter what you do. I think that if you have generally the same morals this goes farther than if you are opposites on the night/day issues, dog/cat issues.

Have you guys even met yet or are you going to analyze this to death??:wink: laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

lilangel2's photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:29 AM

I you wanted to be with someone exactly like you, wouldnt you have just stayed single and date yourself???:wink:

Life is full of compromise no matter what you do. I think that if you have generally the same morals this goes farther than if you are opposites on the night/day issues, dog/cat issues.

Have you guys even met yet or are you going to analyze this to death??:wink: laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh


HA! I think we both just don't want another brokenheart
We would have already met if he hadn't got into that accident. Now he has to stay there for more nuerological tests and meetings with insurance adjusters and lawyers. I am kind of tied down here with daughter, 4 dogs, and a business. So, we are kind of stuck in LDR right now...trying to make the best of it.

TxsGal3333's photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:33 AM
To have things you like together but it puts spice in life to have things that each like that is different.

As far as the animals who is it to say you don't have both if that is what ya want.

As far as smoking that is something that will have to be worked out with the respect of both. If he smokes in the house maybe a certain room with a good air filter. Or outside.

As far as the indoors outdoors part learn to share those things the other one could find out that they enjoy them more with someone they want to be around.

Those are all minor things to get by. The main thing is that two people want to be together all else can be worked out if they really want to.bigsmile

no photo
Mon 06/23/08 08:34 AM


I you wanted to be with someone exactly like you, wouldnt you have just stayed single and date yourself???:wink:

Life is full of compromise no matter what you do. I think that if you have generally the same morals this goes farther than if you are opposites on the night/day issues, dog/cat issues.

Have you guys even met yet or are you going to analyze this to death??:wink: laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh


HA! I think we both just don't want another brokenheart
We would have already met if he hadn't got into that accident. Now he has to stay there for more nuerological tests and meetings with insurance adjusters and lawyers. I am kind of tied down here with daughter, 4 dogs, and a business. So, we are kind of stuck in LDR right now...trying to make the best of it.
Nobody wants to have their brokenheart I think the best thing to do is just meet, and figure things out from there!!:heart: flowerforyou

<----coming from a professional analyzer....in the end, sometimes all that analyzing does is nothing but stress you out.flowerforyou

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