Topic: I didn't THINK fast enough... abuse reporting.
verbatimeb's photo
Thu 03/01/07 02:30 AM
I woke up around 2-ish am this morning and could not get back to sleep
so checked in here. Almost immediately I got an IM from someone who was
18 years old and asking to have phone sex.

Shock. Then I closed the window quickly as well, you know that feeling
that sort of goes all over you (icky, scary)? Yeah, I got that and
"click" shut the window.

I SHOULD have taken note of the screen name (handle if you prefer) but
did not, I just saw the age and read the stupid message. So after a few
moments I realized I should send an abuse report. UH, I did not know
who it was. DUH. So I looked at who has looked at my profile recently
and only one 18 year old is there listed as a recent viewer. SO, how do
I go about reporting a "suspicion" of who the creepy person might be?

Where do I send an email of this encounter? Can VC or Mike check to see
who IM'd me in the past few hours?

Sorry about the squeemishness of my reaction and of my error but I
thought this might be the kind of thing that warrants an abuse report.

Verb

verbatimeb's photo
Thu 03/01/07 02:43 AM
AHA! I also got an email from this kid. SO, now I have reported the
little creepo. Will I get feedback on the report? I have not wondered
about that as this is my first time on the hot seat here so am just
wondering now. sheesh.

Verb

Greyhound's photo
Thu 03/01/07 02:55 AM
Wish i could be of some help. I don't know my way around this thing
much. Those creeps will always be around i guess, i've had one the other
night 24 years old, Gosh ... i'm 58. I did exactly like you did, I
closed the window. (quick)
I'm sure you'll get a lot of help later on from the nice folks on here.
Good Luck Verb flowerforyou

catchme_ifucan's photo
Thu 03/01/07 03:59 AM
If you change your pop up blocker to where a little box drops down &
asked if you want it. i copy the name. go to browser & take off last
part on jsh the paste the name. you can see their pro. then say yes or
no. put it in your profile to plzz send note first!! That is soo rude
anyways just to send a IM & not introduce themself first... if you like
what you see you could send a note saying that, then that gives them a
chance to respond.

no photo
Thu 03/01/07 06:09 AM
Verb -- Vanchau and Mike are really good about addressing situations
like this one. The e-mail will permit a positive identification, and VC
& Mike will take care of the rest....

unsure's photo
Thu 03/01/07 06:43 AM
I know I got an IM from a guy who was pretty naughty and I did report
him. I never got any feed back, but I have not seen him around either!!
So honestly I do not know if they send you feedback or not...my problem
was I did minimize what he said but after so long it closes out what was
said, so make sure you copy what was said.
I know that there are some younger guys who just like to say some rude
things to shock the older ladies~~so before you close out that box, copy
it to an email and send it to Mike or VC!!
Good Luckflowerforyou

msglenda's photo
Thu 03/01/07 07:11 AM
I have reported a few things on these site that just turned my
stomach.But there are so many people from all over the world they are
going to get some sick ones.Adter a few times you learn to just repord
it and forget it until the next time.(Believe me there will be a next
time.)Just be very careful who you talk to on here.
I was talking to this fellow whom is in England at the present
time.Claims to be a professor,but was always asking me for money or to
contact people and about him borrowing money.Told him I was gonna report
him,but never did.
Feck,I got up in the night and got on the site.There was a picture of
some ladies boobs with a penis laying between them.
I reported it.But I'm here to tell you that you just might see anything
on here.
I hate it too.


Glenda

mike's photo
Thu 03/01/07 07:24 AM
Hi folks,

We do read all of the abuse reports that are submitted. So please make
sure to let us know if you see a bad profile or get a bad email, IM,
etc. We regularly kick unpleasant users out of the site - I believe
we're one of the few dating sites that kicks members out on a regular
basis for being rude, etc.

At this time, we usually don't give you feedback on what the result of
the abuse report was. We're debating whether/how to do this. One major
reason we don't provide feedback is privacy - we are currently keeping
all interactions between the admins and users private. But we also
understand that users want some idea that their abuse report was
received and acted on - we're just not sure yet how to resolve that need
vs. the need to keep any discussions/actions between us and other
members private.

You can rest assured though, that we do read the abuse reports and take
all of them very seriously.

Thanks,
Mike

no photo
Thu 03/01/07 08:07 AM
Mike, I don't think the people who have been here for awhile, and who
have seen the abuse policy in action, are going to have any real
questions about what you guys are doing.

But a new person might not know about the behind-the-scenes stuff, and
if they submit a report and don't hear anything, they might tend to
think the report has been ignored, etc.

I would suggest:

a.) a standard letter sent to the person who made the report, stating
that the report has been received.

after which would come:

b.) a followup letter, which doesn't have to be too specifically-worded,
but something along the lines of "We have contacted the person named in
your report and are currently in the process or reviewing the details of
the reported abuse." It's vague enough that you could pretty much
resolve it any way you want, but the sender would still know that the
matter was being looked into.

Just a suggestion!





mike's photo
Thu 03/01/07 10:23 AM
Thanks for the suggestion Lex. Something along those lines might work.
We'll definitely take it under consideration.

shenadra's photo
Thu 03/01/07 11:47 AM
I, myself, also had a bad experience with someone today. I was checking
my email, and someone IM'd me. They were asking me very personal
questions, and when I turned around and wouldn't answer, they kept
asking if I was still there.
I have closed the window many times, but they just keep coming back. Is
there a way of blocking these people, if you know who they are, before
they can open an IM window??
If there is please let me know. I find it rather a nuissance and would
like to be able to stop it before it starts(provided I have already had
an encounter with them)

Thank you for any input you have on this.
flowerforyou

vanchau's photo
Thu 03/01/07 11:54 AM
Yes you can BLOCKUSER on the IM (there is a blockuser button).

That will keep them from trying to IM you as well as message you

spay's photo
Thu 03/01/07 12:43 PM
I GET THE SAME THING EVERYDAY FROM WOMEN WHO WANT TO CYBER WITH ME. I
JUST BLOCK THEM OR I TELL THEM TO TAKE A NUMBER

catchme_ifucan's photo
Thu 03/01/07 04:22 PM
noway SPAY plzz Stop sending yourself IMs from your alters.


Mike & Van do a great job on the weirdo's anytime I've put the url in
their gone right away..
Yes a note would be nice. It's not like their not getting them &
handling all of stuff, So be grateful that they are on top of things.
They can't smooth ruffled feathers anyways! flowerforyou

CHANGE YOUR POP UP BLOCKER SETTINGS LADIES!!!!bigsmile
Like I said above, check them out then resend if your intrested.
Don't let them treat you like your a call gurl on order here.
:wink: flowerforyou bigsmile

verbatimeb's photo
Thu 03/01/07 07:39 PM
Thanks Mike, VC and everyone for the feedback. I wasn't worried but did
"wonder."

It is nice to know someone is truly watching and paying attention to
abusive behavior.

flowerforyou

Verb

Barbiesbigsister's photo
Sat 03/17/07 12:26 AM
well verbatim...bigsista?? your just too dam sexay for your shoes!!
hehehehehe!!! next time we speak i will give you a few tips to skeer
them youngins away from talkin naughty to ya!:tongue: