We were wondering if anyone has been through a spouses affair and made it through the marriage. She caught her husband of 11 years cheating on her (for months) with a co-worker. My sister thought everything was great in the marriage. They have 2 beautiful children, get along, and still made love a minimum of twice a week.

It's been a year now and she still hurts horribly and is deeply betrayed. They are trying to work it out and he is genuinely sorry. Have you been in her shoes? She wants it to work, but its so damn hard.

i say once a cheater always a cheater......and she will always hurt from it...and her trust with him will never be the same!!! He f*cked up!!! Good luck to her!!!

i've never been there but my brother has. his wife cheated on him with a co-worker. they were married for 10 years tryed to work it out but it didn't go so well. they have 2 kids. they ended up going though the big D.. now he has the kids full time.she's paying child susport.

Inexcusable behavior. Unless she plans on running for political office dump the bastard.

This actually happened to one of my closest friends. and she took her husband back for a little over a year also... She thought that maybe she could make it work even though she caught him cheating, but she could never let it go. Long story short, in the end it hurt her taking him back, when the divorce was filed about 2 yrs ago, she could not get him for cheating, because she took him back after she had found out. They are still going through a custody battle to this day. And.... he got the house, he had to buy her out of it, but he got the house, and temporary custody of the child, and he is the one that cheated! That is messed up....

Best of luck to your sister!

Thanks for responding. Do you know if she was really sorry? Why didnt it work out? Was it the trust issue? My sister doesnt know if she can ever trust or forgive him.

no she hasn't seen the kids in 2 years. live 5 miles away

If she doesn't care to see her children, she doesn't deserve them...she's trash

i hear you on that. she is trash all the way

i have been cheated on by a man i was madly in love with, however i wasnt married to him. but i wouldnt take him back for the simple issue of forever looking over my shoulder waiting on it to happen again. the trust was gone and i decided that no matter how painful it was to leave, it had to be done. i knew i would eventually get over it, and i did.

I've been there, almost exact situation. Difference is he didn't want to work it out. Now he admits he made the wrong choice. 2yrs later and I've moved on, too much hurt he caused. It sounds corney, but time will help. The scars will always be there, but life does get better. If he is willing to work it out, then you have to follow your heart.

Thank you for that. I needed to hear something remotely positive. I know it can work out, but its a struggle. Best wishes with you.

the hardest is going to be the cheater re-establishing the trust. IMO the one who cheats is the one that has to earn the trust back if the other is willing to forgive. I tried this with someone I was with for 11 yrs. It just seemed like there was no effort on her part to earn the trust. After a week or so of trying.. it was the same ole thing. I wish your sister luck. It will not be an easy road if he is not willing to make up for the hurt.