and you're entitled to your opinion - however wrong it is

Closure is only a pop psych term anyway. There is, in reality, no such thing. We deal with stuff. We put it in perspective. We put it behind us. However, it never is truly closed...

It's not pop psychology. It's real psychology. If you really cared about someone then you'd tell them why it's over. Otherwise you never really cared about them in the first place.

And you are a licensed clinical therapist? Have studied psychology? You have creds?

And also you are talking apples and oranges. Even if the reasons are given closure will never be obtained. It is unobtainable.

this reply is all a big assumption.

one person can only answer for themselves not another being.

hiya {{water}} this is what I meant with my reply, we are not owed a response, reason, etc., some yearn for one for self validating purposes.

Nothing to do with bad news, but suck it up, deal with it and move on. (sounds cold, but why sugar coat it) up to each individual not their partners. JMO

We live like someone said in a time where people can to easily break up or get divorced. I think also people who just say move on...not worth it.....are just not dealing with issues themselves.

I have come up with a saying over the last year. Learn from the past, then let it go...There is a good reason it is called the past....Your supposed to learn and apply to next instead of taking the baggage over to the next relationship.

And this just causes walls....That I also tell people one brick at a time.....Because if you don't you will repeat the crap over and over until the day you die. I have 3 couples from the match thread this applied to....they took the walls down...I showed them a new way to look at it....And I have already been asked to be the maid of honor in one of the weddings...

People I think also tend to realize that people have lives outside of here...and life happens...and if your going to base a relationship on stupid things like I haven't heard from him/her in two days....thats your insecurities talking so put the blame where is belongs.

Relationships and marriages are very very hard work....going on 29 years here....so even though by no means an authority.....I do get it.

I think the best advise I would give.....is what I always do......

1. Put the past in it's proper place.

2. Take down the walls.

3. Never and I mean never judge one human being for what another did to you (HUGE)

4. And it's your choice to wallow in self pitty... or find true happiness.

((((Fran))))

100% agree

Suggestion? Set your expectations lower.

I give up////why do you all give up!!???

I will not give up

I will not give in

I will survive

You have all seen me say this more times than you can count...TALK TO EACH OTHER! And you have never seen me advise anyone to walk away unless it was an abusive relationship either physically or mentally (being cheated on counts as mental abuse due to the self esteem issues it involves). As far as closure goes it has always been an acceptable form of therapy, unfortunately closure doesn't always work as people often aren't able to accept another person's reasoning as valid. And while I often water down my answers so I don't sound like a text book, I do hold a degree in clinical psychology. And what I state are my own personal feelings they aren't issued as counseling.

Feisty you have mail

mature people realize that it takes work, people who dont like working are lazy =)