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Topic: what to do if your man is so protective and jealous?
ilvmykids24's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:35 AM
what should i do my man is so protective and jealous that he wont let me hang out with other guys and even some girls. i dont know what to do. give me some advice!

tanyaann's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:36 AM
If I were you I would consider leaving b/c that is one of the signs that he is abusive. If you would like more advice or input about your situcation feel free to send me an email.

dawnyhi's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:37 AM
Edited by dawnyhi on Thu 08/14/08 08:42 AM

what should i do my man is so protective and jealous that he wont let me hang out with other guys and even some girls. i dont know what to do. give me some advice!



leave him now...i spent years in this situation you will slowly die he is trying to isolate you...not good. make him work out these issues on his own with support but this is not healthy good or human you need friends...this very action could lead to many forms of abuse...

been there not ever going back

Queene123's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:38 AM
sounds like there is no trust. and i can see alot of controling there and thats not good... you have there abusive relationship even though you may not see it.. i have been there so i can tell you first hand..

no photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:39 AM
maybe the word here should be "possessive"!!! I'm sure he's probably insecure with ya'lls relationship...Maybe he thinks he's gonna make it better by being that way.....when, in fact, he's making it worse....there's really nothing you can do about him......only YOU..

Jules0565's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:40 AM
Edited by Jules0565 on Thu 08/14/08 08:43 AM
The "girl" part I can't understand why not...... as far as hanging out with other guys..hmm.. I wouldnt like that part if I were him either.. unless I was invited, what would be the point?

Would it be ok with you if he hung out with a bunch of women? ::shrug::

It would have to depend on the nature of 'hanging out".. if it were just going out to a bar with a bunch of women..uhh no!

ledi180's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:42 AM
I'd have super major issues with that myself and he'd either have to chill out or I'd be gone. I'm a grown woman and plan to do what I want, when I want. Don't get me wrong, I can and will compromise, but I won't have anyone telling me who I can and can't talk to. Absurd.

If you're ok with it - then stay. If not, then talk to him about it and see if he'll change. If not, it's up to you to decide if it's something you can live with.

Good luck flowerforyou

tanyaann's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:44 AM

The "girl" part I can't understand why not...... as far as hanging out with other guys..hmm.. I wouldnt like that part if I were him either.. unless I was invited, what would be the point?

Would it be ok with you if he hung out with a bunch of women? ::shrug::


I have guys friends and my boyfriend is fine with that and I would have no problem with him hanging out with girls because there is complete trust in our fieldity to each other.

LadyOfMagic's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:45 AM

what should i do my man is so protective and jealous that he wont let me hang out with other guys and even some girls. i dont know what to do. give me some advice!

If you let him cut you off from your friends..next will be your family til all you have is HIM(and he will make that crystal clear too)then the physical and emotional abuse will start..run..NOW.

tanyaann's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:45 AM


what should i do my man is so protective and jealous that he wont let me hang out with other guys and even some girls. i dont know what to do. give me some advice!

If you let him cut you off from your friends..next will be your family til all you have is HIM(and he will make that crystal clear too)then the physical and emotional abuse will start..run..NOW.


exactly!

massachusetts's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:46 AM
he is the one that is insecure he will keep you isolated so you have nothing then he wins. Tell him these are the rules lay them out if he wants to be with you then he will change but ppl like this dont usually.

Jules0565's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:50 AM


The "girl" part I can't understand why not...... as far as hanging out with other guys..hmm.. I wouldnt like that part if I were him either.. unless I was invited, what would be the point?

Would it be ok with you if he hung out with a bunch of women? ::shrug::


I have guys friends and my boyfriend is fine with that and I would have no problem with him hanging out with girls because there is complete trust in our fieldity to each other.


Oh, I'm not saying that each can't have friends of the opposite sex at all... it would just depend on the nature of hanging out, I guess.. if your boyfriend were to hang out with a group of women at the bar..wouldnt you prefer to be invited also? It's just a personal thing w/me..I've been stung by the bar scene in the past, sore spot.. my opinion, nothing good comes from a significant other being in a bar without you. So again, I meant depending on the situation. happy

dawnsky's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:51 AM
Edited by dawnsky on Thu 08/14/08 08:58 AM
Queen & Ladyofmagic are right about him, so if you want to proceed with that, now you will be walking into it with your eye's wide open. I have already been there and done that. I'm probably one of the lucky ones to be alive.flowers

ljcc1964's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:55 AM
Edited by ljcc1964 on Thu 08/14/08 08:56 AM
The bottom line is...if the two of you don't mesh, and you aren't on the same page in regard to things like what you are or aren't allowed to do.....YOU'RE WITH THE WRONG MAN.

sparkleplenty424's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:56 AM



The "girl" part I can't understand why not...... as far as hanging out with other guys..hmm.. I wouldnt like that part if I were him either.. unless I was invited, what would be the point?

Would it be ok with you if he hung out with a bunch of women? ::shrug::


I have guys friends and my boyfriend is fine with that and I would have no problem with him hanging out with girls because there is complete trust in our fieldity to each other.


Oh, I'm not saying that each can't have friends of the opposite sex at all... it would just depend on the nature of hanging out, I guess.. if your boyfriend were to hang out with a group of women at the bar..wouldnt you prefer to be invited also? It's just a personal thing w/me..I've been stung by the bar scene in the past, sore spot.. my opinion, nothing good comes from a significant other being in a bar without you. So again, I meant depending on the situation. happy
I wouldn't date someone that drank or hung out in bars.

tanyaann's photo
Thu 08/14/08 08:57 AM



The "girl" part I can't understand why not...... as far as hanging out with other guys..hmm.. I wouldnt like that part if I were him either.. unless I was invited, what would be the point?

Would it be ok with you if he hung out with a bunch of women? ::shrug::


I have guys friends and my boyfriend is fine with that and I would have no problem with him hanging out with girls because there is complete trust in our fieldity to each other.


Oh, I'm not saying that each can't have friends of the opposite sex at all... it would just depend on the nature of hanging out, I guess.. if your boyfriend were to hang out with a group of women at the bar..wouldnt you prefer to be invited also? It's just a personal thing w/me..I've been stung by the bar scene in the past, sore spot.. my opinion, nothing good comes from a significant other being in a bar without you. So again, I meant depending on the situation. happy


Its called trust. I am in a long distance relationship. He goes to the bar occassionally; he use to go once a week before work switched his shift. I know that he isn't going to the bar to pick up women. And if he was invited to the bar by some friends, I would more than likely be invited to come too. If you are in a healthy relationship with a good person, you don't have to worry about the other person doing something they shouldn't.

no photo
Thu 08/14/08 09:04 AM
Don't put up with that crap at all!!!!noway noway If he get over it,Than you are in a bad relationship.I would call it quits!!
J/M/O

Jules0565's photo
Thu 08/14/08 09:12 AM




The "girl" part I can't understand why not...... as far as hanging out with other guys..hmm.. I wouldnt like that part if I were him either.. unless I was invited, what would be the point?

Would it be ok with you if he hung out with a bunch of women? ::shrug::


I have guys friends and my boyfriend is fine with that and I would have no problem with him hanging out with girls because there is complete trust in our fieldity to each other.


Oh, I'm not saying that each can't have friends of the opposite sex at all... it would just depend on the nature of hanging out, I guess.. if your boyfriend were to hang out with a group of women at the bar..wouldnt you prefer to be invited also? It's just a personal thing w/me..I've been stung by the bar scene in the past, sore spot.. my opinion, nothing good comes from a significant other being in a bar without you. So again, I meant depending on the situation. happy


Its called trust. I am in a long distance relationship. He goes to the bar occassionally; he use to go once a week before work switched his shift. I know that he isn't going to the bar to pick up women. And if he was invited to the bar by some friends, I would more than likely be invited to come too. If you are in a healthy relationship with a good person, you don't have to worry about the other person doing something they shouldn't.



Without trust you dont have a relationship #1. I totally agree with that.. I gave 100% of my trust to not only ONE, but TWO men in my past.. it wasn't THEM I was concerned about, you dont know the women in the bars these days, I guess..lol Like I said, I've learned my lesson.. TWICE.. having your signficant other hanging out in bars without YOU, is TROUBLE! After 6yrs of "trusting".. ended with finding a thong on a chair in his bedroom that wasn't mine! And I'm not saying that they can NEVER go into a bar without me...I'm just saying that if they're going to "hangout" there for awhile.. I think the significant other should be there too, a night out, have fun.

tanyaann's photo
Thu 08/14/08 11:20 AM
Obviously you trust guys that weren't worthy of your trust.

Ruth34611's photo
Thu 08/14/08 12:16 PM
Isolation is one of the signs of abuse. At first I thought my ex husband was just protective of me. 10 years later I left. Wish I had known then what I know now and not put myself through that.

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