I am 21 and a full-time mother and student. I can't tell you how many guys that I've met that seem great until I let them know that I have a son. I was actually told that I was a ghetto chick who probably depended on the welfare system to take care of my child. Then they ask if the father is around and I say no because I'm honest and things seem to fall apart more then ever. Let me say this...I am not ghetto and I do NOT depend on welfare for anything. I hold my own for myself and my son. Maybe I'm just not attractive enough and the men use my child to just get away from me. Or maybe the guys that try to talk to me are ignorant and are missing out on a great woman like me (don't mean to toot my own horn but toot toot!) What do you guys (and girls) think about this situation?

I think that you have just been meeting the wrong men. They sound like jerks.

Ditto.

They turned into them with just the beginning syllables of child lol

That explains alot. You're talking about boys and not men.

Hang in because there are nice guys out there. I see them everyday at the Nurseing home. Careing, strong, responsible, and funny.

Ditto
<------follows Winx around because it's easier to post "ditto" after her responses.

Bros are idiots. Raise your boy to be better then those dudes.

I think it's just your age AND having a child. Most guys that age are still getting their groove on and not ready to settle down with that much responsibility of taking on someone else's child.

I know I sure wasn't at that age. I'm just being honest.

Give it time, enjoy and raise your child, live your life by continuing to better yourself with your educational pursuits.

That love thing will roll around in due time.

most men who dont date women with kids,i think r ones who dont take care of their own kids,dont like kids period or have their own kids part time,and thats enough for them. i have mine fulltime and wouldnt have it any other way.

i always appreciate honesty in a man

they won't?

when you reach my age ALL women have kids

EDIT: well actually grandkids

Those who have difficulty dating a woman with a child/ren are not ready to be fathers. Realize it is difficult to deal with at times, but count yourself lucky you find out early.

Yes, it's best to find out their true colors earlier than later.

Never a truer word has been said...

My husband said he had tried dating many women with children (before me) because he was really into kids not babies and figured yours, mine, ours didn't matter. Told me he kept getting the vibe that they were pissed off that he is a natural as a Dad and acted jealous that the kids would behave for him. (He was calm amd attentive.) But that it got old having them dog on their kids to prove who was boss over them. At one point he quit trying to date women with kids. Lucky me he gave it one more shot.

Its always encouraging to hear about success stories. It fills my little heart with hope

I have to agree... it's more the age/life experience thing. When I was 21 I dated an older woman that had 2 kids, the oldest a 5th grader. She had already had all of these life experiences that I wanted to share with my partner. I just wasn't ready to take on an instant family.

Today, different story. Practically any woman that I would date is going to have kids. And now I welcome that. It's now something we have in common.... a similar life experience.

Honestly, it wasn't necessary for you to point this out. Just because the " boys " start throwing around insults, doesn't mean you have to deny what they say. If YOU know those things about yourself, then what they say has NO bearing at all on your life.



I would have to disagree and would ALSO have to say that if you start thinking like that, it can be a very tough thing to STOP doing. You KNOW that you are strong ( as evidenced by the fact that you are going it alone in raising your son ), beautiful ( as evidenced by your pic ) and intelligent ( as evidenced by the fact that you can form a complete sentence and a complete thought). You should not allow anyone else's words to effect your knowledge of those things. To do so is simply foolish.

I think the responses you have seen here are indicative of what is really happening. You are simply talking to " boys " who aren't ready to be responsible for a child.

At any rate. Be patient. There is a man out there who will be happy to be with you, and also be willing to take your child into his life.