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| Topic: do you really want to know? | |
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Can you cry under water?
________________________________________ How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? ________________________________________ Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? ________________________________________ Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? ________________________________________ Why does a round pizza come in a square box? ________________________________________ What disease did cured ham actually have? ________________________________________ How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? ________________________________________ Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? ________________________________________ If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? ________________________________________ Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? ________________________________________ Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? ________________________________________ Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. ________________________________________ Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? ________________________________________ Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? ________________________________________ Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! ________________________________________ If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? ________________________________________ If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ________________________________________ Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? ________________________________________ Why did you just try singing the two songs above? ________________________________________ Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? ________________________________________ Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? ________________________________________ Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? |
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Can you cry under water? ________________________________________ How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Ask the press. They always cover the assassinations. ________________________________________ Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? It's a bargaining thing, where people know you've got two cents worth of brains, but offer you a penny so that they can turn a profit. ________________________________________ Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you No, because you get a new birthday suit. were buried in for eternity? ________________________________________ Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Because the round boxes are used to transport toilet seats. ________________________________________ What disease did cured ham actually have? Worms. They died during curing, but were left for flavor. ________________________________________ How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it Because the men that went to the moon actually took less personal luggage than most people carry on an overnight trip. would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? ________________________________________ Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies As long as tits are nearby, what guy doesn't search for them in his sleep? wake up like every two hours? ________________________________________ If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? The court session is to "hear" the person voice an accusation or defense, not to check their vision. ________________________________________ Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Movies were originally canned/film, so you were in the can, but TV was live, so you were on when the cue man said, "You're ON!" ________________________________________ Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in Because you can only look down on really short people if you're on the ground, but from on high you can look down on everyone. binoculars to look at things on the ground? ________________________________________ Why do doctors leave the room while you change? If you have to pay to get them to look at your body, they are going somewhere to brace themselves while you strip. They're going to see you naked anyway. ________________________________________ Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? The original brassiere (French) was from 'bras' (arm) and 'iere' (linked to). Numerous items were thus denoted as brassiere, such as shoulder bags with a strap. ________________________________________ Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Because toasting occurs with items of more density than balloon bread, and thus requires greater duration. ________________________________________ Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? Hearses are legally able to use the carpool lane, as can autos in the entourage even if they have only one occupant. ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? Because Goofy is independent, whereas Pluto is an owned critter. They're both dogs! ________________________________________ If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, Mineral oil with fragrances added is marketed as baby oil. what is baby oil made from? ________________________________________ If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Yes, if they are not smarter than a fifth-grader. ________________________________________ Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Nope. ________________________________________ Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Because you asked for a comparison. ________________________________________ Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, When it's in an astronaut's butt, during a space walk, it's a him-orrhoid or her-orroid. but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? ________________________________________ Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, Dogs are equally angry when another dog blows in their face, so it's not just you. but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? ________________________________________ Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? That was my dad's email addy, but he cannot read or write, since his aneurism, but he's real happy to see your pics. |
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Outstanding to both of you!!!
 
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Bravo, you two, bravo
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Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Who was the cruel person that put an "s" in the word "lisp"? |
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If a fly didn't have wings, would it be called a walk?
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you all have too much spare time on your hands
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Why even after you wipe a million times, you still get skid marks
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Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? Who was the cruel person that put an "s" in the word "lisp"? Good one's... that "s" in lisp is very cruel.. b/c you don't use fresh wipes Brian....
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Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? Who was the cruel person that put an "s" in the word "lisp"? Good one's... that "s" in lisp is very cruel.. b/c you don't use fresh wipes Brian.... 
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well, if crimefighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fire then what do freedomfighters fight?
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Why do the call it a Boner, when there is no Bone
 Why dont they call it a Temp Gorging Vessel
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if a cat always lands on its feet..
and bread always lands butter side down... what happens when i strap a piece of bread to the back of my cat and drop them both ????? |
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if a cat always lands on its feet.. and bread always lands butter side down... what happens when i strap a piece of bread to the back of my cat and drop them both ????? You've just discovered the secrect of levitation. Seriously, I read an email that started off this way a few years ago; it was hilarious! 
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To the last question...no I dont wonder
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I think you just need a round of applause.
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To the last question...no I dont wonder 
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I think you just need a round of applause.  
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Can you cry under water? ________________________________________ How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? ________________________________________ Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? ________________________________________ Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? ________________________________________ Why does a round pizza come in a square box? ________________________________________ What disease did cured ham actually have? ________________________________________ How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? ________________________________________ Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? ________________________________________ If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? ________________________________________ Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? ________________________________________ Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? ________________________________________ Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. ________________________________________ Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? ________________________________________ Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? ________________________________________ Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? ________________________________________ ________________________________________ Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! ________________________________________ If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? ________________________________________ If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ________________________________________ Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? ________________________________________ Why did you just try singing the two songs above? ________________________________________ Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? ________________________________________ Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? ________________________________________ Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! All of those questions could have been posed in the ' Just ask JustAGuy ' thread. That would have been good for at LEAST 5 pages....lmao |
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