Topic: Thinking of cheating
JaneBond's photo
Wed 04/04/07 03:39 AM
According to Canadian Living, Not all men cheat, says Landers, but those
who do, follow the same rules. "Once you know the script, you can
interrupt it and you can protect yourself if your husband has cheated."
Landers shared with us five of the most predictable things men do when
they're thinking about cheating. (this could work both ways, lol):

1. He starts criticizing everything you do. "He's trying to make you
doubt yourself, become defensive," says Landers. "You'll come across as
argumentative, difficult." Often, she says, he'll suddenly pick apart
something you do well. If you're a renowned party-thrower, he'll tell
you your canapés were overcooked and your guests were bored. The point
is to throw you off balance.

2. He starts offering "suggestions" to improve yourself. Again, says
Landers, this is about making you appear difficult. "He'll say, ‘I keep
telling you to lose weight or get a job or go back to school,'" she
says. "As though you are the one with the problem, a problem he has been
trying to fix."

3. He calls you crazy or depressed. "When he starts acting suspiciously
later, staying out late, you'll question your own suspicions," says
Landers. "After all, he told you that you're crazy -- you'll start to
wonder if you are."

4. He starts doing strange things with money. Money or bank statements
are suddenly missing, he's carrying around lots of cash or he's spending
too little cash. "He could be trying to get money together for when he
eventually leaves," says Landers. "Or he could be trying to cover his
tracks, or not spending money because he's staying in with his mistress
to avoid being seen." Any behaviour related to money that is out of the
ordinary can be considered a warning sign.

5. He buys you big, expensive gifts. "You'll think, how could he cheat
on me when he bought me this big diamond?" says Landers. "But it's more
likely he bought the gift to throw you off or to hide his own guilt."

Knowing the telltale behaviour is a way to arm yourself against
betrayal, says Landers. "When he starts acting out parts of the script,
you need to take action," she says. "If you think something is wrong, it
probably is. Don't make excuses and take action. A doctor would say to
treat the pain early before it gets really bad. Our natural instinct is
to let it go, not make trouble, but you need to do something."


GreenEyedHippieChick's photo
Wed 04/04/07 03:55 AM
So, Im curious..
Now have the stats on men cheating..... what does Landers say about the
signs of a woman cheating? I'm sure the men would like to have a heads
up on what Landers has to say about us.

JaneBond's photo
Wed 04/04/07 04:03 AM
Good question. I think the behavours can pretty much work both ways, no?

JaneBond's photo
Wed 04/04/07 04:05 AM
A man posted back to that article and says.....

FEEDBACK:
"Very good article....I'm a guy whose now ex-wife was having an affair
and each of the signs listed in the article are bang-on! You may want to
expand on the last one....in my case, the spending exploded bigtime on
new outfits, shoes, afterwork dinners with her "work group" etc etc. She
also took up smoking, as her newfound "buddy" also smoked."

no photo
Wed 04/04/07 03:16 PM
And Know one who took up looking at extreme porno Sites including
beastiality and her as her young CHEATING partner does. Awww

no photo
Wed 04/04/07 03:17 PM
I have to do this over: And Know I one who took up looking at extreme
porno Sites including beastiality AS her as her young CHEATING partner
does. Awww

no photo
Wed 04/04/07 03:19 PM

I have to do this over: And I Know one who took up looking at extreme
porno Sites including beastiality AS her as her young CHEATING partner
does. Awww

Tneal's photo
Wed 04/04/07 05:11 PM
Uh?

txazdesertgirl's photo
Wed 04/04/07 05:19 PM
ok, I'll bite. Who is Landers???

Barbiesbigsister's photo
Thu 04/05/07 09:04 PM
How did i protect myself when i discovered my husband was cheating? I
LEFT HIS CHEATIN ARSE!!!laugh

no photo
Thu 04/05/07 09:36 PM
Where did u leave it? In the rain?

JaneBond's photo
Fri 04/06/07 07:10 PM
Eeeeewwwww greiving, that's just wrong dude. Leave the farm animals out
of it, lol.

Morena350's photo
Fri 04/06/07 08:26 PM
huh

Tomokun's photo
Sat 04/07/07 10:34 AM
Ummmm, bestiality aside...noway

First of all, whew, I thougt someone was actually asking if it would be
ok to cheat in x situation...explode

Second, something that always seems to come up mid crisis is what to do
if you suspect that your significant other is cheating. Its a conundrum,
because you can't be in a relationship with someone you can't trust, but
if you suspect incorrectly then you are the one who is in the wrong-for
not trusting your partner the way that they trust you. Its a sort of
catch-22, and the only thing that makes sense to me is to keep trusting
your partner in spite of the suspicions. After all, no secret stays
buried forever, and while it is hard to recover from the betrayal, it
would be worse to ruin a great relationship because of a lack of
communication...indifferent

JaneBond's photo
Sun 04/08/07 08:35 AM
I hear what you're saying tomo but it is not a mid-life crisis issue nor
one sided. Trust is impossible to recover, if at all, once that line has
been crossed. While the article gives some suggestions as to the
alert's to look for, I am sure there are many, many more telling sign's.

Yes, if you are wrong in suspecting cheating, it would most likely
damage the relationship but I would think most, if not all people, would
look before they leap in regards to suspecting and actually knowing for
sure if their partner is cheating.

no photo
Tue 04/10/07 10:46 AM
i know i have had alot of women i know do some cheating.

no photo
Tue 04/10/07 11:16 AM
Thanks for the topic Ms. Bond,
Cheating comes for many different reasons it seems, women generally do
it because they're lacking in areas of emotional support, the attention,
affection, communication is gone or just don't click anymore.
Men are more physical with thier needs (typically), knowing your
partner and respecting each other is the only thing that will keep
things in order, listening and understanding.
Most "cheaters" have found someone that "really cares".
They listen, understand and relate to the one that's searching for
something new. So if you see that your life of routine sex or
communication seems to be just that you need to keep it exciting and
unpredictable.