The Penis wants a raise in Salary

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1. I do Physical Labor!
2. I work at great depths!
3. I plunge Head first into everything I do!
4. I dont get Weekends or Public Holidays off!
5. I work in Damp Enviroments!
6. I work in dark area that has Poor Ventilation!
7. I work in High Temperatures!
8. My work exposes me to Diseases!

REPLY:

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the Management DENIES your request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight!
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND FALL ASLEEP after EACH brief work period!
3. You dont always follow the orders of the Management team!
4. You dont stay in your Designated Area, and are Often seen visiting other Locations!