THOUGHT THIS MIGHT BE INTERESTING FOR SOME

Words may have been called the building blocks of communication, but
it's what you don't say that can speak volumes about you in a matter of
seconds.

In fact, experts say nonverbal communication may actually have more sway
than spoken words, according to the Wall Street Journal Executive Career
Site. Studies have found that body language makes up 55 percent of the
force of any given response, "paralanguage," which includes sighs,
pauses and intonation, accounts for 38 percent, and verbal communication
provides a mere 7 percent of the response's emphasis.



Playing with jewelry can convey stress and anxiety.

That means that up to 93 percent of communication is done on a nonverbal
level!

So while many of us may spend tedious hours wording and rewording our
upcoming presentations, speeches, interview responses, and more, few of
us give attention to the body language that will accompany it--but all
of us should.

Why is body language so important? While words may or may not be sincere
(how many of us really say what we mean?), our gestures, facial
expressions, hand motions, and other nonverbal communication cues are
much more subconscious--and therefore can be a much better gauge of a
person's real intentions. Especially in the career world, but also in
personal relationships, body language can make or break a person before
they even get a chance to open their mouth, or it can turn a well
thought-out answer sour.

"Our nonverbal messages often contradict what we say in words," says
Jo-Ann Vega, president of JV Career and Human Resources Consulting
Services in Nyack, N.Y. "When we send mixed messages or our verbal
messages don't jibe with our body statements, our credibility can
crumble because most smart interviewers believe the nonverbal."

Using Your Body to Your Advantage

It's true that some body language is subconscious. A recent NBC
broadcast of an interview with President Bush is a case in point. Dana
Milbank, a Washington Post columnist, described President Bush while
undergoing some heavy questioning. "The president was a blur of blinks,
taps, jiggles, pivots and shifts ... he had the body language of a man
wishing urgently to be elsewhere," said Milbank.

Still, with a little forethought you can control your body language and,
instead of allowing it to betray you, use it to your advantage. Here's
what you can do to use your body to convey strength, confidence and
motivation, not insecurity, defeat or insincerity.



Crossing your arms can make you appear disinterested, bored or
standoffish.

For even more tips on how to use your body language, check out "Body
Language," a handy highly recommended book that includes an easy-to-read
visual dictionary, showing key gestures with their meanings and even
revealing the contradictions that can occur between words and actions.

"Positive Body Language"

Strong, firm handshake: Confidence, security

Leaning forward, eye contact, hand gestures: Sincerity, confidence,
interest

Natural tone, volume, pitch and pace of voice: Secure, confidence

Eye contact: Openness and honesty

Altering facial expressions to match what is said (smiling when being
friendly, etc.): Secure self-esteem

Feet on desk, hands behind head: Confident, dominant or superior

Relaxed upright posture, arms swinging naturally while walking:
Confident

Nodding: Approval


"Negative Body Language"

Leaning back and looking down: Lack of confidence, aloof

Limp, weak handshake: Nervousness

Leaning in too close: Could be threatening

Weak, soft voice: Nervousness

Clearing throat, saying "um, uh," using overly complex sentences:
Insecurity, nervousness

Dropping head and looking down: Untrustworthy

Staring at other person during silences: Increases tension

Maintaining eye contact too long (over 7-10 seconds): May cause anxiety
or discomfort

Rigid, stooped posture, feet shuffling: Lack of confidence

Folded arms, crossed legs, picking lint off clothing: Disinterested,
disagreement

Twiddling thumbs, drumming fingers: Not paying attention, anxiety

Clenching or wringing hands, playing with jewelry, sitting on edge of
chair, jiggling foot: Stress, nervousness, anxiety

Rubbing hair or back of neck: Frustration

Touching your face: Nervousness, dishonesty

Txs,

Great topic, I hope this one gets a lot of responses.

Thank you Mg I hope so as well. Figured it was time we have a few new
topics.

Myself I'm one ,that if I'm talking to someone I must have that eye
contact. Not the whole time but at least at times. You can tell alot
about a person when they you meet eye to eye. As they say the eyes are
the mirrors to ones soul.

That is the quickest way to catch when someone is lying to you is by eye
contact. For it is very hard for one to look you in the eyes when they
know they are lying to you.

You can learn alot from body language about the person themselves.
Expressions tells alot about a person.

Great post!

This is why it is often so difficult to judge one's intentions whilst
online; can't hear the voice or see the body language. I think that this
contributes to some of the quick arguments and tension of web-based
discourse.

So, so, so true!!!! I'm proud of you for starting this thread.

Hi Lady, I think you will and Txs will have a chance to help a lot of
people on this thread. I can tell that you both have honest hearts.

This makes me very happy to see on JSH

I'm forever nodding when I have a conversation with someone, wonder if
that's good.

mornin' folks!!--and uhhh---cyall later--love to hang but work is
callin' my name already--have a nice day!!---

Have a good day Shadow

g'morning... here have a sip of coffee before you run out

So true that is for most would never say some of the things they say
online if the person was standing face to face with them. We seem to
forget that on the other side of that screen is someone that is real and
has feelings as well. It makes it so much easier for ones to decieve
others too. They don't have to look them in the eye as they paint there
pretty pictures of lies and decent. It is a shame that others feel that
they can take advantage of someone else that is actually telling them
the truth about themselves. What they gain from it I will never
understand how hurting or lying to someone else. In the long run what
satisfaction will you receive from it? For real honest satisfation comes
from the good things you do not the hurtful ones.

Lady for a woman of your age I will say one thing your knowledge way
exceeds your years. I have read some of your responses and had to look
to see how old you were. To me that is always a breath of fresh air to
see.

Ohh and thanks again Mg to be being honest is very important.
Sometimes I tend to be a bit too honest. But I don't have anything to
hide. I do try to treat others as I would want them to treat me. Not
saying it always works that way cause I do have a voice and very well
know how to use it. lmao

TXS, I did the same thing with Lady. I had to look at her profile, and
was very impressed by her wisdom at such a young age. She will go far in
life.

Why thank you guys and gals!

If I didn't know any better, I'd think today was my b-day! Such lovely
compliments have come my way this evening!

Txgal, had you not had the wisdom in posting this relevant thread, I
would've never had the opportunity to offer my opinion. You did all the
work in picking the subject, I simply followed your lead.

Awww but I was lucking to come across these threads this morning. And be
able post them. So I can only take the the credit for paste and copy
lmao But will always give credit were it is due for it
is your knowledge about life itself and the way you see it that shines
through to others.


Hummmmm

Humm that was suppose to say I was lucky to come across these subjects
lmao. Hummm ohhh well never confessed to being perfect lmao. Ohhh I need
a spell check lol

This is great stuff, Tx!

I think it's equally important, however, to be careful not to prejudge a
person's body language.

For example, because of having two degenerated disks in my lower back, I
have a very hard time standing or sitting in one place for any length of
time. I have to shift positions a lot, even while driving, because the
pain/discomfort is sometimes difficult to deal with.

That "fidgeting" can easily be misconstrued as being uncomfortable about
the present situation, and that's not the case at all.

That could apply to a lot of body language, too...their body language
may not have anything to do with the present circumstances or may or may
not indicate deception, etc. Their outward signs may be indicative of
some totally unrelated issue.

"I'm forever nodding when I have a conversation with someone, wonder if
that's good."

Depends..are you doing it here?

I'm sure that could be the case but you know as well as I do never take
any subject as a 100% sure deal. But I can almost bet that even if you
were in a deep conversation with someone that even if you seem to be
fidgeting due to medical problems. For some reason I don't see that you
would still not have the eye contact or staying right on subject and
bringing your point across to the fullest. There are tell tale signs
when one is in pain. Or just plain nervous and looking for an out or
lying or don't want to be were they are.

geeze gal does that mean i need to be a little quieter.............lol

Generally, I agre, but I've had people ask me what was wrong and I've
had to tell them about my back problems. You can't see or feel someone
else's pain.

On top of that, I have physiological anxiety that, most of the time, is
apparent only to me...other times, if it's real bad, then I'm likely to
be a bit more "hyper."

That might be misinterpreted as being my being uncomfortable with them,
or as being deceptive or whatever, rather than just the simple fact that
my nervous system is out of "kilter."