Give me coffee and no one gets hurt.

Don’t wash this vehicle - Undergoing scientific dirt test

Keep honking, I’m reloading

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Never get into an argument with the schizophrenic person and say, “Just who do you think you are?”

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

I’m just driving this way to piss you off.

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

Don’t follow me, I’m lost

Save Your Breath … You’ll need it to blow up your date!

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Help! I Farted and can’t roll down my windows!

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

Avenge Yourself - Be a problem to your children

When I grow up, I wanna be just like Barbie. That ***** has EVERYTHING!

Remember Pillage First, then Burn!

Put Your Make up on at Home or Go to Work Ugly.

Earth First! We'll Strip mine the other Planets later.

Poverty in motion

if you are gonna ride my a$$ introduce yourself first

mean people suck- nice people swallow

Put your big girl panties on and get on with it........

id slap you but **** splatters

I wouldn't mind having a couple of those myself!!