patience is a virtue I do not posses, now!

dd,
Once again, I am my friends therapist. One Pending Divorce, One possible business failure and couples therapy not going well.............



ohm mani pad mei ohm

Dear diary, where are the chicks. Wake up. I'm bored.

I entertain everyone all the time. Entertain me. Chop chop.

and now for something completely different ??... a man with 3 buttocks

This break brought to you by, Monty Python

It was the blackest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight
I heard the scarey wind
I seen some ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin'
'Long the aide of me

I'm mean 'n I'm bad, y'know I ain't no sissy
Got a big titty girly by the name of Chrissy
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me . . .
'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, mystery

I noticed even the crickets
Was actin' weird up here
So I figured I might
Just drink a little beer
I said, "Gimme summa that what yer suckin' on . . "
But there was no reply
'Cause she was gone . . .

"Where's those titties I like so well,
'n' my godam beer!"
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the Devil, . .
He's about this big, . .

He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tail
'N like a sulphur reek
Yes, it was him awright,
I swear I knowed it was
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin
I said, "You sonofabifch!"
'Cause I was mad at him.
Well he just got out the floss
'N started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter.
Said: BANG BANG BANG

The sucker just laughed 'n said, "Put it away . . .
You know, I ate her all up . . . now what you gonna say?"
YOU ATE MY CHRISSY? "Yeah! titties 'n all!"
WHAT ABOUT THE BEER THEN? "Were the cans this tall?"
EVEN HER BOOTS? "Would I lie to you?"
****, YOU MUSTA BEEN HUNGRY! "Yes, this is true'.
'WELL DON'T THEY PAY Y'ALL GOOD FOR THE
STUFF THAT YOU DO?
"I can't complain when the checks come through . . ''
WELL I WANT MY CHRISSY, 'N I WANT MY BEER
SO YOU JUST BARF IT BACK UP NOW, DEVIL,
DO YOU HEAR!
"Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! I am fhe Devil,
Do you understand?
Just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little contract here, . ''
YER GODDAM RIGHT, YOU SON-OF-A-WHORE,
THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY REASON
I LEARNED WRITIN' FOR . . .
GIMME THAT PAPER ... BET YER ASS
I'LL SIGN . . . 'CAUSE I NEED A BEER, 'N IT'S TITTY-
SQUEEZIN' TIME!

"You can't fool me, man . . . you ain't that bad . . .
I mean you shoulda seen some of fhe souls I had . . .
Why there was Milhous Nixon 'n Agnew too . . .
'n both of fhose suckers was worse 'n you . .
"WELL, LET'S MAKE A DEAL IF YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE
I MEAN, YOU'RE THE DEVIL SO ... WHATCHA GONNA DO?

(improvised dialog)

"No! Don't sign it! Give me time to think ...
I mean ... hold on a minute, boy . . . that's
Magic Ink!"

And then the Devil puked
'N out jumped m'girl
They heard the titties PLOP-PLOPPIN'
All around the world, she said:
"I GOT ME THREE BEERS 'N A FIST FULLA DOWNS,
AN' I'M GONNA GET WRECKED, SO **** YOU CLOWNS!"

And then she gave us the finger,
It was rigid 'n stiff,
That's when the Devil, he farted
An' she went right over the cliff
The Devil was mad took off to my pad
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
etc. repeat

-Frank Zappa

dear diary.....do I look like a "Charlies Angel" now???? Im thinking I just need a tiny plastic gun.....

ok someone please make my letters bigger????? I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed bigggggggggggggggger!!!!

I have a big P.

dear diary........apparantly Shadow likes bubble wrap!!! Its been 2 days of waking up to him playing with bubble wrap. At least he isnt using my face as a scratching post like he normal does....

you have a pine ninch nenis???

Ouch! And you want me to sleep over? No cat scratching. Just kneading.

Hey gypsy, did you get my brittney picture?

Dear diary......my days/nights off of the computer consisted of me ACTUALLY going to the library and I now own a library card!!!

Of course I was reading 3 books at the same time while watching amazing tv like......"Trading Spouses".....learning about PRO CAULK......and text messaging the hell out of my phone!!!

I want subway.

brit pic???? I got the ripped pants pic......wondering how you ripped out the crotch????? Im thinking the methane gases burnt a hole in them!!

dd,


airplane travel to warm part of the country , tomorrow...
Packing boxer briefs and swimsuit..not certain I will need either...

Youre not getting subway!!!

And what is that pic of???? Your money jar???

Ohhhhhhhhhhh where ya going????

AZ