it's 2009...you need to be more open minded and patient...just cuz someone is in another part of the country or maybe even the world does not mean u will never meet them...take the time to get to know someone and maybe someday you will go vist her or vice versa...distance should never be an issue if you get to know someone and want to meet them in person...plenty of modes of transportation to get you somewhere...and if you just want a local woman for a quick one nite stand and you cant find that...just use an online escort service...be seeing you

i would say that:

the reason for this (not so) weird phenomenon is that we are on here to find someone that they want to be with; and they reallt feel they want someone till the opportunity arises. when said opportunity presents itself the past resurfaces in the sub conscience and builds a roadblock to prevent them from actually acting on what it is they truly want. it is kinda like someone in an abusive relationship, they stay because it is easier to deal with what you know than to deal with change, entering a new relationship is change and staying alone is known.

just a thought

but hey

what do i know

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thats funny there. mabe theres some wisdom that im missing there mirror! lol.

that sounds right adj.

Noooo, of course not. Only you can determine if you're too good to have any more friends or not, or if you already have enough of them. My point, if you can follow it (and you'll pardon me using your own phrase), is why come onto the internet if you're looking for somebody local. That makes no sense. Why look to the world if you want to find somebody down the street?

But what do I know?

i think fear has a lot to do with it as well.... but then when we live in fear, we usually get just what we fear. look for the good ad we will find the good.
what you fear WILL come upon you. (you can quote freely.)
if you are afraid of being pulled over by the cops, for example, its just a matter of time before you are. if you fear the IRS YOU WILL END UP BEING AUDITED.
I personally (try to) fear only God.

I don't know if they're married, bored, playing games, or what.

I am familiar with the phenomenon you're talking about, though.

I've been here two years and have made friends, get lots of e-mail, profile views, etc. There are people here who I talk with on the phone, send stuff through regular snail mail, etc.

But never anything from anyone within any sort of reasonable distance from me.

My guess is that there are a lot of people here who simply aren't interested in the "dating" aspect of the site.

Sure, it's billed as a "dating site" -- but it serves a lot of other functions as well. And some of those other functions probably aren't perceived as being as risky or dangerous as "dating."

I made a fundamental thinking error when I first got the idea to sign up on dating sites -- this was years ago. I had the idea that, because there would be SO MANY MORE people now accessible to me -- people that I would never have had any chance to meet in real life -- that it would be relatively simple to find someone compatible.

What I failed to take into account was that, when you're dealing with a site that's national or international, sure, there are more people, but they're also a lot farther away than the ones you meet in real life.

On balance, I believe a site like this has a tremendous ability to increase one's social circle -- within a limited (i.e., probably never meet in person) context.

To find an actual, viable match on a dating site, though -- well, for that I think you have to be either very lucky or very very mainstream. And even then, the distance factor can blow the whole thing out of the water.

I think we need to be realistic about this situation. I have yet to see anyone I would consider even remotely compatible -- and that's in two years. Sure, that could change. But I can't sit around expecting that the change is going to happen.

Enjoy it for what it is. It's still the best site I've ever tried, whether it produces a gf or not.

that would be because the woman down the street has a computer also.

lex, well said. Thanks.

there are those down the street that are on the net and if you do not use the net you may never meet them! if they do not happen to go where you go when you are there. if you are in a town of say 10,000 what are the chances the person down the stereet and you are going to be at the same place at the same time and actually have the oppertunity to speak to each other.

but as you said what do you know (other than grammar (yes that was a joke, sorta)

Good God, has it really come to that? People can't even walk down the street anymore, they're so dependent on their computers?

sadly to a point it has

but it still does increase the odds if ya do use it

Funny. I have been told that once or twice....lmao

yes it has. i never get out. im a shut in and never go anywhere. cmon, its just another tool in my dating toolbox. i live in a town of 500 souls, so the immediately available women are somewhat limited. also i dont do bars, as i dont want another drunk for a gf. Already been there twice. The internet for me is another tool i can use to meet someone.

a. a person whom is in healing mode
b. people taken that are here for friends
c. people that just are looking for friends
d. people whom are bored and passing time
e. people just plain wanting advice
f. people that were single when they signed up and made some good friends here.

g. how hard is all this to figure out?