The bottle is still spinning…..round and round it goes…..where it stops nobody knows!!! So now it stops on him or her…Are they what we desire? What traits do they possess that we like and or dislike? Questions within questions, our minds spin: could he or she be the one? Or do we just settle?

Settle was one of the words used several times in responses so I decided to find out exactly what Mr. Webster had as a definition. Here is what I found:

set⋅tle

–verb (used with object)
1. to appoint, fix, or resolve definitely and conclusively; agree upon (as time, price, or conditions).
2. to place in a desired state or in order: to settle one's affairs.
3. to pay, as a bill.
4. to close (an account) by payment.
5. to migrate to and organize (an area, territory, etc.); colonize:
The pilgrims settled Plymouth.
6. to cause to take up residence: They settled immigrants in urban areas.
7. to furnish (a place) with inhabitants or settlers: The French settled this colony with army veterans.
8. to quiet, calm, or bring to rest (the nerves, stomach, etc.).
9. to stop from annoying or opposing: A sharp word will settle that youngster.
10. to conclude or resolve: to settle a dispute.
11. to make stable; place in a permanent position or on a permanent basis.
12. to cause (a liquid) to become clear by depositing dregs.
13. to cause (dregs, sediment, etc.) to sink or be deposited.
14. to cause to sink down gradually; make firm or compact.
15. to dispose of finally; close up: to settle an estate.
16. Law.
a. to secure (property, title, etc.) on or to a person by formal or legal process.
b. to terminate (legal proceedings) by mutual consent of the parties.


Now you may call me an eternal optimist, but I found comfort in some of these definitions….So exactly how in today’s society did the word Settle become a negative word? Does one just settle that society has deemed it to be so?

Does being in our 40’s make us more cynical because of our past experiences? Do we compare unfairly new people in our lives based on past relationships? “Been there done that” theory……Is that theory a fair assessment based on facts or fiction? A very wise man once told me “All people possess good and bad in them, the trick is to appreciate the good and decide if you can live with the bad”. The thing I seem to remember is in the vows, "I, _______, take you, ________, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."
So does the bottle keep spinning or do we compromise just a little and settle? Tick tick tick the clock ticks on and time is passing us by……..and the bottle still spins on and on…

We've been programmed since birth to be married with kids by the time we're in our thirties, complete with house with white-picket fence, the dog, and the 2.5 kids. It's something that's been ingrained in everyone's head for as long as we've been a modern-day society here in America.

The fact is that there IS no set roadmap when "settling down". You DON'T need to be in your twenties to get married and start popping out kids. If anything, getting married at such a young age would be a mistake, as there's still a lot of growing and maturing to take place.

You are g-d d-mn right we are a little more cynical!!! But my cynicalness is cyclical

And my cynicism comes from bad past relationships. You tend to learn not to do certain things over again, you know?

Amen to that!

The use of the spoken word is what allows humans the ability to lie to themselves and each other. Most other animals communicate quite well with out. I choose not to settle. I know what that means to me. I don`t know what that means to you or others. If you consider life a game maybe second or third is better than last place. How competitive are you? If life is more how do you view third or fourth. Most people I know seem to think being with anyone is better than lonely. Remember the song "Its sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along"? I believe I`ll wait a little longer for the right one.

I want to Thank You all for your posts! I wrote both of my topics to help my daughter with a college paper she is writing on dating. She is in her 20's and had a handle on that, but needed some help with the older daters out there. All of you are helping her and I appreciate it. Please keep the comments coming....

I have to admit, I wrote ideas that where in my head at one time or another, with a bit of a sarcastic tone. I was astonished by my thoughts be taken different ways by different people. I guess it shows we are all individuals in all aspects.