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Topic: unrequited...
no photo
Sat 02/07/09 11:37 PM
"Meanwhile I'm 34, at full throttle of womanhood and someone's telling me to put on the brakes. HOW? "

I don't know why but that sounds so hot, the
'full throttle of womanhood'

Ditch both the friends and find a lover.devil







I mean keep them as friends, just friends.

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 02/08/09 12:38 AM
Both of these guys don't seem to be on the same page as you on several levels.

Seems like you have a sense of urgency that is scareing the romantic thoughts of your dates into hiding. If you have "Baby hunger" on the brain you are probably makeing a guy feel like a sperm donor not a lover.

You have two guys telling you to slow down and enjoy the process; not and unreasonable request.

I agree if you really are not into the idea of the person you have a date with Valentines then you really need to immediately excuse yourself from the invitation. You don't have to give him a long agonizeing explanation just tell him "I am going have to excuse myself from our date Valentines. Thank you for asking but my interest is elsewhere." Be a Lady and do it in person and not publiclly.

Remember you might pressure a guy into saying and doing something he is not ready to do and then spend a lifetime regretting it.

EtherealEmbers's photo
Sun 02/08/09 01:44 AM
You all are right.. well most of you anyway.
I told the one guy that the date was off and did give somewhat of an explanation because he seems like a nice guy and I wanted to be honest.

Tonight I had a really lengthy discussion with the one I'm interested in, and he is also still very interested in me... that hasn't been the problem. He just hasn't taken time between relationships and wants to, per my suggestion, take time to not rush into anything because he's never felt this connected to someone on so many levels and neither have I.

You're right, PacificStar48... I don't want to convince him to be with me when he's not ready and end up regretting it. I don't have "baby hunger" as you put it, I'm just finally at a point in my life where I feel comfortable with myself for the most part and want to express all my love and appreciation without having to hold back. I want to let go. I've never felt like I could do that with anyone before. Not completely, and it will be a struggle.

I told him tonight that as long as he was being real and wasn't dating anyone else while we were waiting this out, becoming better friends and whatever, then I will stick around and be faithful to waiting for him as long as I can. We both agreed to it and I guess now I just have to try not to hold his hand too much when I see him. Try not to kiss him, try not to snuggle. Ugh this is gonna suck! lol

I have to say that I've gained a lot of respect for those of you (usually men, I presume) that wait around for the other one to be ready. Kudos to you.

EtherealEmbers's photo
Sun 02/08/09 10:45 PM
Man.. I'm gonna be reeeeeeally grumble :angry: if I wait around for nothing and this guy ends up dating someone else. indifferent


Citizen_Joe's photo
Sun 02/08/09 11:38 PM

Man.. I'm gonna be reeeeeeally grumble :angry: if I wait around for nothing and this guy ends up dating someone else. indifferent




If you turn 40 and he still doesn't wake up, you waited too long. Otherwise, at least you're true to yourself though and that's what counts.

EtherealEmbers's photo
Sun 02/08/09 11:47 PM


Man.. I'm gonna be reeeeeeally grumble :angry: if I wait around for nothing and this guy ends up dating someone else. indifferent




If you turn 40 and he still doesn't wake up, you waited too long. Otherwise, at least you're true to yourself though and that's what counts.


If I turn 40 (considering I'm 34 now) and I'm still waiting for the guy to figure out if he's ready to date me or not, I'd say I'd need a straight jacket! lol

ChefBadger's photo
Sun 02/08/09 11:54 PM

This year is the first time since I was in high school that I have a date for V-day... and I'm not looking forward to it at all because it's not the guy I want to be going out with. I'm guessing I need to cancel my date because of this, but I feel obligated to follow through with it because I said I would.

The guy I wish it was wants to slow things down and be friends for now... for who knows how long.

How am I supposed to just keep everything in and not kiss him or hold his hand like I want to? How do I give him the space he needs without losing interest in him while we're just friends?

What would you do in this situation... or what would you suggest to make it easier?

Oh, I should mention also that the guy I have the date with also wants to be friends first.


Dear Ms Embers,
Tell ya what, I've carried a few torches in my time, so I'll help you out. Here's what you all ya gotta do:

Slip slow-poke a roofie or two and get him down to Tijuana, Mexico. I know a guy. He'll have papers waiting for you. We stand your unconscious sweetie up and snap some wedding photos...
Boom, your all set aaaand its legally binding.

Yours truely,
He-who shall-remain-chefless

pitchfork :banana: pitchfork

EtherealEmbers's photo
Mon 02/09/09 12:14 AM
LOL!

Now that's the last thing I'd want to do.. be hitched to a chicken. If he's worth it, he'll stand up soon enough. Entertaining thought, though. :laughing:

ChefBadger's photo
Mon 02/09/09 12:30 AM
Yeah you're on your own for the honeymoon though,

I just work the camera.

Citizen_Joe's photo
Mon 02/09/09 09:33 AM



Man.. I'm gonna be reeeeeeally grumble :angry: if I wait around for nothing and this guy ends up dating someone else. indifferent




If you turn 40 and he still doesn't wake up, you waited too long. Otherwise, at least you're true to yourself though and that's what counts.


If I turn 40 (considering I'm 34 now) and I'm still waiting for the guy to figure out if he's ready to date me or not, I'd say I'd need a straight jacket! lol


I was being gentle about that. laugh laugh laugh

EtherealEmbers's photo
Mon 02/09/09 12:10 PM
:laughing: No need for sugarcoating it... I can handle the truth winking

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