So I was having lunch at a little taco place with a couple of friends when a several teenage baseball players, 16-17 years old, sat down at the table next to us still in their cleats and dirty uniforms, accompanied by what looked to be one of the team moms. She was fairly young, mid to late 30's, well dressed, and in shape. Her hair and nails looked to have been done recently.

I turned my attention back to my tacos and memories of my days as a ballplayer began to come back to my mind. The sound of metal spikes on the dugout concrete, the smell of glove oil, the sting of hydrogen peroxide on cuts and scrapes after a hard-played games.

One of the young players kind of remined me of myself at his age. I called his number, "Hey number 3, You play second, don't you? turn any double plays at today?"

"Yeah, we turned two twice," he replied. "How did you know I played second?"

"Lucky guess, I suppose" I said "Y'all win?"

"Yeah, we won 8-5"

"Oh, Congrats" I said and took another bite of my taco. I could hear the murmur of of the players surprised by my apparent insight.

"Hey number 9, how do you like the hot corner?" I said to one of the other players.

"Dude, were you at the game or something?" he asked. "How do you know I play third?"

"No I wasn't at the game." I said, "You just have the look of a third baseman to me. That and your uniform is filthy. I've been around ball players most of my life. You're a third basemen through and through"

I took a bite and finished my second to last taco and the murmur from the neighboring table of ball players grew a little bit over how I just guessing their positions..

I took a bite of my beans and rice and after swallowing and taking a swig of beer, I addressed the table with my attention to a tall, lanky kid wearing number the #34.

I said, "Hey number 34, how'd you pitch today?"

"Dude, that's just sick. How do you know I'm a pitcher?" he asked with a bewildered look.

"Every kid that wears the number 34 thinks he's the next Nolan Ryan. So how'd you pitch?"

"Well, I struck out 6 and gave up three earned runs. Not bad, I guess. My fastball didn't have much hop on it today so I had to rely on the offspeed stuff a little more than I like to but you know.."

"Well, you know you can't mow 'em all down every time out," I told him "Besides, ground balls are more democratic"

The kids at the table chuckled, getting the Bull Durham reference immediately.

"good luck the rest of the season, guys" I told them not wanting to interfere with their lunch any more than I already had..

but apparently I had gotten the attention of the team mom, who had been on her iPhone during most of the preceeding exchange.

She spoke up and asked, "Hey, how were you able to guess all the positions these boys played? what's up with that?"

"Well, I don't know." I said, "I suppose I can just look at someone and tell what their natural position is, I suppose"

"Wow," she said, "I've never seen anyone do that before. That's just astonishing"

"I don't know. I've just always been able to do it." says I and just kinda smiled at her. "y'all enjoy your lunch.."

So my buddies and I finished up our lunch and got up to leave a few minutes later. Just as we were leaving, the team mom got up from her chair as we walked past and she commented again to me how amazing she thought it was that I was able to guess their positions

So I leaned in and in quieted voice, I told her, "You know.. It doesn't just work with ball players.."

"What do you mean?" she asked

and I said to her in a still quieted voice trying not to let myself be overheard, "You like it doggie style, don't you"

And about four of the ball players sitting at the table turned, almost in unison and in surprised astonishment, said "How did you know THAT??"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

cute