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| Topic: I just need to vent..... | |
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suffering isnt all its cracked up to be
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I feel all alone. i can relate. i think it has something to do with v-day. i always feel more alone around holidays and such. it sucks seeing other people with someone when you have no one. as for your parents, parents don't really know what's best for us. they only know what they want for us and how they would like for our lives to turn out. i realized that my life is my own and that i can not live it according to my mothers designs. she's not the one who has to look through my eyes into the mirror and accept who is looking back. she has her life and has lived it and this one is mine and i must live it. eventually they'll get over whatever it is that is making them not speak to you. until then, use your friends as a sounding board. just be sure to not complain too much or you might alienate your friends. |
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thank you - you are right. i love my family very much but like you said, at the end of the day, it is me who has to look at myself in the mirror. as for complaining - i try not to, it usually takes a lot to get me to say anything out loud - kind of like a pressure cooker valve. on a good note, he contacted me, so while my world may not be spinning as it usually does, at least it is back to spinning.
thanks drew, for putting things back in perspective. 
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no prob
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I am a 37 year old woman who has a full time job, a 4 year old child and has been married three times (once right out of high school - ended in divorce; once 5 years after my divorce but he was killed 6 months later in a car wreck and once again but am getting a divorce). I have my own home and car, pay my own bills and am a great mother. I am responsible, have a good head on my shoulders & am a good person. I spend my days waking in the morning, heading out & dropping my daughter off at school, then work until 5:00 at night, where I get home, cook, give her a bath & play until her bedtime. Then, I escape. I get online to meet with & chat with people, some who have come to be very good friends. I have kept my walls up for so long - not letting anyone in and then I do. Now, I get a guilt trip from my parents that i am loosing my focus on what is important - all that I have....everything, they call it. Well, it isn't everything! It is alot, I am very, very blessed, but they don't understand that I am still human and I need that human connection, a shoulder to lean on, someone to make me feel alive. Now, my parents won't speak to me and to make matters worse, I haven't heard from that other person in a while . I know he is busy and has his life, but the little peace on earth I have found feels like it is slipping away. I miss him. I feel all alone. Your parents and you may not see eye to eye on this. I am sure that their intentions were good. They may be giving you the silent treatment but, it doesn't mean that you can't open the door for them. Let them know that it is okay for them to have a different opinion but, it is your life & it is up to you to make decisions for yourself.  In regards to the guy, it depends on the stage of the relationship. Go with what your heart tells you to do. 
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