so, since august first, two thousand six, my life has been amazing.
it was the day i gave my life to Christ,
by literally setting down a small piece of a chain at the foot of a
cross.
and i was happy.
i had great friends, i felt free.
nothing could stop me.
that is, until i met my boyfriend of about a month.
i had everything but a man in my life,
and i was dying for companionship.
when he asked me out,
i was happy.
but he wanted sex,
and a lot of it.
and i decided to give it to him.
and i became his sex slave.
i mean, it's thrilling...
but, suddenly, i'm not who i was.
i refuse to go to church.
i skip through worship songs.
i have conversations no longer than thirty seconds with christian
friends.
and, i miss my old life.
but i have no idea how to set myself free...

WELL THE ONLY WAY TO BECOME FREE IS PRAY TO JESUS FOR STRENGHT TO TELL
HIM TO HITY THE ROAD AND LISTEN TO CASTING CROWNS 2ND CD THEY HAVE A
SONG ON THERE THAT TITLE SET ME FREE I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS TOO

i hate casting crowns.

and i know God is trying to get me to come back.
i know He's angry...

look, i really need some help.
please?

God is never angry, God is love in it's purest form. But you have to
find the answer within yourself, that's why we have a free will.

Love and light to you

the bible does state events where Jesus gets angry at those doing wrong.
i mean, since this thing started,
little things have been going wrong.

If you feel separate it is you who has turned away ... just turn around.

I don't believe in an angry God.

SHEESH I AM TRYING TO GIVE YOU ADVICE AND YOU DO NOT LIKE IT THIS IS A
SPIRITUAL BATTLE YOU ARE GOING THRU CRY OUT TO JESUS IN OUR WEAKEST
MOMENTS THAT IS WHEN HE IS WHEN DOES HE DOES THE GREATEST MIRACLE
HAPPENS.

When things go wrong, they do because you made the wrong choice.
So listen to yourself, pray, try to see what is right and what is wrong.

i can't...
i'm afraid.

I just read this and the only thing I can really say is one question, Is
sex with your boyfriend more important to you than God? It seems as
though that is what has gradually happened, and honestly it's good that
ya caught it now, instead of never. I can't say for sure, but from what
you wrote, it looks like you're puttin his physical pleasure ahead of
your spiritual needs, and that is never good. Rule 1 in any
relationship, is that you both can get everything you need out of the
relationship (lovers, friends, apprentices, etc.). You need to decide
what's most important to you, and if he's gonna help you reach those
goals.

i know!
it's wrong!
but i can't just turn around!

i can't just cry out!
i can't just pray!
i'm not strong enough...

You can do that if you really want to. Maybe now is not the time and you
have to fall deeper in the hole before you start crawling out. You will
find the strength when you need it.

i can't take anymore...
my entire life,
it's been about making the man happy,
making sure daddy or my boyfriend or whoever didn't get mad.
and that's what i'm doing...
my life has always been about other people,
helping someone else.
but now,
i have no one to turn to.

killxherxoff,

I know exactly how you feel. The following Pslam has described my
feelings more than once.

Psalm 38:4
-------------------------------------------------------------
For my iniquities are gone over my head; As a heavy burden they weigh
too much for me.
-------------------------------------------------------------

But here is the good news.

Romans 8:1
-------------------------------------------------------------
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ
Jesus.
-------------------------------------------------------------

The condemnation you feel doesn't come from God, it is your own
conscience or the work of the enemy.

1 Peter 5:8
-------------------------------------------------------------
Be of sober spirit, be on the alert Your adversary, the devil, prowls
around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
-------------------------------------------------------------

When you turn away from God, then the enemy can attack and devour you.
What was before so easy for you to do is now hard, because Satan has
taken a personal interest. But there is hope! God forgves all. Don't
be afraid to turn back to the Lord. The Lord forgives all who ask for
forgiveness.

Isaiah 43:13
-------------------------------------------------------------Even from
eternity I am He, And there is none who can deliver out of My hand; I
act and who can reverse it?
-------------------------------------------------------------

When you belong to God, there is no sin too great to seperate you from
him. I know it's hard, but the hardest part is the first step. Turn
back to God. Admit you aren't strong enough to break off the
relationship you are in and ask Jesus for the strength you need. God
won't do it for you, but he will hold your hand while you do it
yourself. God loves you for who you are, not what you have done. Don't
you see that the longing you feel for your old life is God tell you that
he misses you?

so i just told him...

killxherxoff wrote:

so i just told him...

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SpiderCMB replied:

Him who? Your boyfriend or God?

both.