True, but if I've learned one thing from reading 3,889,328,922 dating site profiles, it's that self-assessments are generally less then useless.

How many times have I seen this? -- "I'm the most unique person you'll ever meet. I'm laid back and easy going, like to go out or stay in, and I love my friends and family." Yeah, THAT'S a good reflection of uniqueness!

Perceptions of intelligence can be somewhat subjective, too. In a venue like this one, I have to go by what's written in the forums, profiles, etc. And most of what I've read hasn't really meshed well with my idea of what constitutes "intelligence" within a written format!

I’m not disagreeing with your assessment, just trying to keep things light with humor and pointing out that some of the women who respond to you may think they meet most of your requirements based upon their own views of themselves.

Ah, well I was just trying to help

I wish I could be of more help.

Well, the ones who respond to me are all 46 with 4 kids, and they just want to argue!

Seriously, I NEVER get anyone saying "Hey, I think I fit in well with the description of the kind of person you said you're looking for."

I get "I know I don't fit the description of the kind of person you're looking for, but you're a complete and total ******** because you won't give someone like me a chance. Your preferences are all wrong and someone needs to prove it to you."

hey I luv brown sugar-cinnamon pop tarts

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target.

I get the "no one matches your requirement" quite often... It tells me that I'm too picky and need to loosen up my criteria a bit to perhaps a few things that are most important b/c NO ONE is perfect...

Trade you! I get the “I’m perfect for you”, but when I check their profile I’m wondering how they came to that conclusion when hardly anything coincides with mine. Of course, now I’ve made that impossible since I basically erased my profile.

No one is perfect, but does that mean no is perfect for YOU?

Lex,i think you passed by this one on page 2








man,she even likes Brown Sugar-Cinnamon!



don't pass up the chance

I get the "no one matches your requirement" quite often... It tells me that I'm too picky and need to loosen up my criteria a bit to perhaps a few things that are most important b/c NO ONE is perfect...

I never get those here, but back in 2006, I spent 3 months on a pay site where I got that all the time!

Always locals (I mean, the same TOWN half the time, or maybe a town or two over), saying things like "Hey, I saw your profile and I think we'd have a lot of fun together! Some of my girlfriends and I are going up to {insert name of local bar} tonight about 8:00, why not come over and meet us! I'll be the one with the red t-shirt!"

And I would write back and say "You really need to read my profile again...."

I like to joke around about being "selective," but the reality is I have only 3 absolutely-must criteria -- smoking doesn't bother me (as long as you don't expect me to smoke), religion doesn't bother me (as long as you don't expect me to have one), even the intelligence thing is flexible -- I don't want a cretin, obviously, but it's not like she has to have a 160 IQ. Hell, I'd settle for 155.

It's just that the 3 deal-breakers I DO have eliminate everybody on the planet. Who knew?

Lex the first 2 are reasonable, the last one well that's where you're not going to hit your mark at all.. You know 125 and up isn't stupid considering what is the average IQ coming in at these days? I think I read around 96 or so....

As for the woman who comes and goes, my thought is that if you were not there, she would find another to be there for her. If you DO want her in your life, even sporadically, then I would continue to be there for her and hope that she eventually realizes how much you care.

When I was a kid, they always said the average IQ was 100, and the tests were geared for that.

I saw an ad on some site a few weeks ago, and it said the average IQ is now 98. Not sure what that means, exactly, but I'm trying to find a way to blame the public school system.

OK, it isn't really about the numbers. Would I be able to distinguish between 120 and 150? I don't know. I doubt it. Maybe, given enough time, given enough chances to test and interview, I could. But why bother?

It isn't about that. When I mention intelligence, what I'm really talking about is someone to whom I don't have to stop and explain and define every third word I use. Someone who can hold up her end of the conversation, regardless of what it's about. Someone who grasps the subtleties of cynical humor.

Maybe "intelligence" isn't even the right word at that point.

But I'm tired of being told I'm "intimidating" just because I can write a little bit.

Because I really wouldn't care if the IQ score was 100 or 200, if the other stuff worked.