Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when East Coasters
and West Coasters cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana,
Wisconsin, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Michigan, Missouri, Minnesota, North
Dakota, and South Dakota, those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a
set of informal guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders
understand the Midwest , the following list will be handed to each
driver entering the state:

1. It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your car.

2. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi ... we got over it.

3. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod, but don't cry if a
flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle.
We have a name for those little trout you fish for ... bait.

4. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu.
Order steak & order it rare ... or, you can order the Chef's Salad and
pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

5. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.

6. Let's get this straight - we have one stoplight in town.
We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

7. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So,
you're a feminist ... isn't that cute...

8. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too ... and turtle. You really want sushi
and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

9. They're pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like
it?
Even numbered Interstates go east/west, odd numbered go north/south.
Pick one and use it accordingly.

10. The "Opener" refers to the first day of hunting season.
It's a religious holiday & you can get breakfast at the church.

11. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Understand the concept?

12. Yeah, we have golf courses. Just don't hit in the water hazard. It
spooks our fish.

13. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving
like an maniac, his name is "Sir".
He's more than profecient with both that magmum strapped to his hip and
his 12 gauge with 00 buckshot.

14. The bill on your hat should turn down at the edges to shed the rain
and be centered over your nose to keep the sunlight out of your eyes.
Any other location/orientation makes you look just plain stupid.

15. Unless you want a 'neck tie wedgie', pull your pants up. You look
like an idiot.

16. Incidentally, you might want to quit eyeballing that farm boy
standing next to the feed bin.
He did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

17. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends?
We're real impressed ... we have a quarter-million dollar combine that
we only use two weeks a year.

18. By the way, if that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are
making their final approach, we will shoot it!
You may hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

Now, shut up and enjoy your damn visit!

grew up in MT know exactly all about this...

I grew up in Maine and can relate to most of it except for one thing. If
i saw you baiting your hook with my favorite panfish (trout) I'd have to
get ugly LOL. Brookies in the morning, mmmmmmm nothing better.

Oh this was great lol
I'm in Wisconsin
loved it

those brookies are good, use to fish em when I lived in NH

So you can see why i'd have a problem with you using them as bait. LOL

By the way, how much freelance work does that squirrel get? He seems
awfully busy!! He als does good work!!

lol sure do rpro

Flowers for me? Awwww that's sweet.

the little guy has excelled quiet well in his photography venture....he
just does it for a hobby now a days.

He should take a picture of his relative over here that get's into the
top of my birdfeeder,plants his butt in it and chows down with his head
poking out of the roof!! LOL

OMG that is too funny....better keep a sling shot handy to scare him
away.

Nah he pisses me off abit but i just can't hurt the little guy. I'm a
softy.

hmmm, that's interesting, but I lost my chance in visiting Iowa

May I add one, cat?

Sundays...car dealerships are closed and liqour stores are open, as it
should be.

Thanks!

Hey newg78 what do you mean,you lost your chance?

sure Nus add away

Craxks me up!! There's a lady online with us right now,who in her
heading says, "just want to chat" then her critria says you must not be
a smoker to contact her!!! What is smokers breath gonna penetrate cyber
space now? Some new study results??!! LOL

LMAO....all that smoke may fog up her screen

cool post cat