i dont know if you would consider this as a funny story, for i found it rather gross. a member on here email it to me and she thought it was funny.... im going to let you decided and let me know


The Kohl's Shopping Trip
=========================

Clutching their Kohl's Department Store shopping bags, Ellen
and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking
lot. Obviously a recent hit - no flies, no smell.
"What business could that poor kitty have had here?"
murmured Ellen. "Come on, Ellen, let's just go..."

But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was
explaining, "I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll
use this tissue paper." She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag
and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former
feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it. They continued the
short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the
trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left
Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine
while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose that new-car
smell. They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and
they headed over to K & W Cafeteria.

After they went through the serving line and they sat down at a
window table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's
bag still on the trunk. BUT not for long!

As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll
by their car. She looked quickly this way and that, and then
took the Kohl's bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked
out of their line of vision. Kay and Ellen shot each other a
wide-eyed look of amazement. It all happened so fast that
neither of them could think how to respond. "Can you imagine?"
finally sputtered Ellen. "The nerve of that woman!" Kay
sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as
she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the female thief.

Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she
noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving
line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red
gingham shirt with the Kohl's bag hanging from her arm. She was
brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier.

Helplessly they watched the scene unfold: After leaving the
register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put
the bag on an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites
of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag
into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side,
but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables
over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.

Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping
noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to
the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage
cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and
sent the busboy to call 911 while she administered the Heimlich
maneuver.

A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay,
who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes
until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the woman
with the red gingham shirt emerged from the crowd, still
gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney. Two well-trained
EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a
third scooped up her belongings. The last they saw of the
distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the
ambulance doors - the Kohl's bag perched on her stomach!