100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Why Do All Ostriches..... | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Why do all ostriches peck at TV cameras? You know what I'm talking about, you've seen it. Nature shows.
"Oh, look, here's Bernie the Ostrich and he's amazing. Bernie weighs in at 3885 pounds and cannot fly, unlike most birds who don't weigh quite that much. Uh oh, Bernie is pecking at our superexpensive TV camera AND the not-quite-so-expensive crew! Watch out, guys! Bernie can eat a whole squadron of jelly donuts in 2 minutes flat!" What about the "nice" ostrich? Why will none of the female ostriches (ostrichi?) date him? Is it because he's a boring doormat? Or a doring boormat? We don't know, we'll have to ask Dr. Phil. Why are all ostriches pigs? Well, this is not possible yet, but with the impending advances in stem cell research, we expect to have an ostrich-pig hybrid sometime in mid-2014. Imagine the technological uses for a pig with eyes the size of bowling balls! Or a pig that could run on two legs and peck away at TV cameras! Or an ostrich that could wallow in its own filth! It's an amazing time in which we're lucky enough to live in.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Why do all ostriches peck at TV cameras? You know what I'm talking about, you've seen it. Nature shows. "Oh, look, here's Bernie the Ostrich and he's amazing. Bernie weighs in at 3885 pounds and cannot fly, unlike most birds who don't weigh quite that much. Uh oh, Bernie is pecking at our superexpensive TV camera AND the not-quite-so-expensive crew! Watch out, guys! Bernie can eat a whole squadron of jelly donuts in 2 minutes flat!" What about the "nice" ostrich? Why will none of the female ostriches (ostrichi?) date him? Is it because he's a boring doormat? Or a doring boormat? We don't know, we'll have to ask Dr. Phil. Why are all ostriches pigs? Well, this is not possible yet, but with the impending advances in stem cell research, we expect to have an ostrich-pig hybrid sometime in mid-2014. Imagine the technological uses for a pig with eyes the size of bowling balls! Or a pig that could run on two legs and peck away at TV cameras! Or an ostrich that could wallow in its own filth! It's an amazing time in which we're lucky enough to live in....  Maybe they peck at cameras out of instinct
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
hereformore
on
Wed 07/29/09 06:29 PM
|
|
That would be one big azz Ostrich...and do they eat donuts? I thought pigs were clean animals? Not sure why they peck, do they like shiny things?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Umm, Lex...did we have a few drinks with our dinner this evening?
  
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Maybe they peck at cameras out of instinct Probably. The fossil evidence indicates that ostriches and TV cameras have been enemies for billions of years. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think Ostriches are just natural peckers. 7 foot tall, two legged peckers. Don't stand too close.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think Ostriches are just natural peckers. 7 foot tall, two legged peckers. Don't stand too close. 7ft. tall, that would make a big "pecker" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think Ostriches are just natural peckers. 7 foot tall, two legged peckers. Don't stand too close. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
That would be one big azz Ostrich...and do they eat donuts? I thought pigs were clean animals? Not sure why they peck, do they like shiny things? No, those are magpies. That would make another great hybrid, a magpig. Pigs generally ARE clean animals but they sometimes go insane and reject all hygienic tendencies. Ostriches will eat donuts if the donuts are shaped like little TV cameras. The wonders of nature. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Umm, Lex...did we have a few drinks with our dinner this evening? No, I do not drink alcohol. But I do believe we need to mount some sort of defense against the noble ostrich. If Charlton Heston was still alive, and would put his guns down for a minute, I might suggest he star in "Planet of the Ostriches." "It was Earth all along," he screams, as 1000 ostriches peck the Statue of Liberty into the ocean.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I was chased by an Ostrich at age 8 once. It was horrifying as I truly thought I was going to die. I somehow went through a open wooden gate into the ostrich farm. Before I knew it a ostrich was chasing me. I swear if I didn't run like Carl Lewis that day, I don't think I would be alive!
The biggest bird in the world is no joke
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
That would be one big azz Ostrich...and do they eat donuts? I thought pigs were clean animals? Not sure why they peck, do they like shiny things? No, those are magpies. That would make another great hybrid, a magpig. Pigs generally ARE clean animals but they sometimes go insane and reject all hygienic tendencies. Ostriches will eat donuts if the donuts are shaped like little TV cameras. The wonders of nature. I think I saw a magpig once...I think it brought about the phrase "when pigs fly" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Why do all ostriches peck at TV cameras? You know what I'm talking about, you've seen it. Nature shows. "Oh, look, here's Bernie the Ostrich and he's amazing. Bernie weighs in at 3885 pounds and cannot fly, unlike most birds who don't weigh quite that much. Uh oh, Bernie is pecking at our superexpensive TV camera AND the not-quite-so-expensive crew! Watch out, guys! Bernie can eat a whole squadron of jelly donuts in 2 minutes flat!" What about the "nice" ostrich? Why will none of the female ostriches (ostrichi?) date him? Is it because he's a boring doormat? Or a doring boormat? We don't know, we'll have to ask Dr. Phil. Why are all ostriches pigs? Well, this is not possible yet, but with the impending advances in stem cell research, we expect to have an ostrich-pig hybrid sometime in mid-2014. Imagine the technological uses for a pig with eyes the size of bowling balls! Or a pig that could run on two legs and peck away at TV cameras! Or an ostrich that could wallow in its own filth! It's an amazing time in which we're lucky enough to live in.... Ostrich and pig dna will not splice.... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
That would be one big azz Ostrich...and do they eat donuts? I thought pigs were clean animals? Not sure why they peck, do they like shiny things? No, those are magpies. That would make another great hybrid, a magpig. Pigs generally ARE clean animals but they sometimes go insane and reject all hygienic tendencies. Ostriches will eat donuts if the donuts are shaped like little TV cameras. The wonders of nature. I think I saw a magpig once...I think it brought about the phrase "when pigs fly" Just think of the military uses for flying pigs. With laser beam helmets on. Somebody will steal this and make a video game out of it. "Laser Pig 2, now available for the PS3." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Why do all ostriches peck at TV cameras? You know what I'm talking about, you've seen it. Nature shows. "Oh, look, here's Bernie the Ostrich and he's amazing. Bernie weighs in at 3885 pounds and cannot fly, unlike most birds who don't weigh quite that much. Uh oh, Bernie is pecking at our superexpensive TV camera AND the not-quite-so-expensive crew! Watch out, guys! Bernie can eat a whole squadron of jelly donuts in 2 minutes flat!" What about the "nice" ostrich? Why will none of the female ostriches (ostrichi?) date him? Is it because he's a boring doormat? Or a doring boormat? We don't know, we'll have to ask Dr. Phil. Why are all ostriches pigs? Well, this is not possible yet, but with the impending advances in stem cell research, we expect to have an ostrich-pig hybrid sometime in mid-2014. Imagine the technological uses for a pig with eyes the size of bowling balls! Or a pig that could run on two legs and peck away at TV cameras! Or an ostrich that could wallow in its own filth! It's an amazing time in which we're lucky enough to live in.... Ostrich and pig dna will not splice.... Little tiny nails.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
and still pigs will not fly.....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
and still pigs will not fly..... Right, but only because ostriches can't fly, either. Cross a pig with an eagle, or a finch, or an owl, and we'll see some porcine airlines.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
and still pigs will not fly..... They might with a REALLY big sling shot...at least for a bit. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You already noted how much the big birds eat. They are probably checking it for edibility.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stick a camera lense in anythings face, who would'nt peck!
Or b*tch lol 
|
|
|
|
|
