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| Topic: The reality of finding someone and dating them | |
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By the way, I'm seeing way too many "You shouldn't say all girls are like that because I'm not like that". Don't take offense to it, obviously not every girl on earth is like that, just most girls my age(and around my age).
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I think you still have a LOT to learn about women and life. JMP What about my post implied that I don't know much about women? Trust me, I know LOTS about how to make a woman smile, what's sweet, what's creepy, what kind of thing makes their friends jealous, what gets them going(physically), etc. It's not like I've never had a relationship. It's just getting woman past that physical attraction barrier that is the toughest part. Ok put it this way: ATTRACTIVE WOMEN go for the hot guys, which are typically jerks.  did you just insult me?
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I don't think girls want a super hot guy that treats them like crap...
I sure don't. And I would rather have the mediocre looking guy that treats me like a queen... besides good looks vary. What I find attractive another woman may not find attractive.. Why would someone want to be treated like crap??? That is just silly. |
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My advice would be instead of making fake profiles, work on who you are and be happy with it. Til you do no one is going to be happy with you either. I am who I am... I don't have to "work on it". you make it sound like I spent months under a fake profile and was never the real Danny. It was only for about 2 weeks and spent maybe 10 minutes a day. Not exactly a social outcast like you imply. Maybe a therapist could help..... 
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By the way, I'm seeing way too many "You shouldn't say all girls are like that because I'm not like that". Don't take offense to it, obviously not every girl on earth is like that, just most girls my age(and around my age). here's a bit of advice, never use "all" on this site, it pisses people off, LOL 
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Lots of guys say that though; that we want "the bad boy" and not "the nice guy." I like a guy to be nice to me, I just have trouble finding one who will. And most of the time, the self-proclaimed "nice guy" isn't that nice at all. You are right, though on the flip side, most guys who truly are "nice guys" aren't that attractive. If they were, girls wouldn't have such a hard time being interested in them. I'm just saying that, while it's true and sad and a fact, relationships are generally built around physical attraction. I'm not attacked any particular girl(ok well maybe the few who wanted to swap nude pics) |
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I don't think girls want a super hot guy that treats them like crap... I sure don't. And I would rather have the mediocre looking guy that treats me like a queen... besides good looks vary. What I find attractive another woman may not find attractive.. Why would someone want to be treated like crap??? That is just silly. Don't take offense to this statement, but you are 48 years old so you KNOW what makes a relationship last. So of course you'd choose the nice guy over the jerk. If only girls my age had your mindset here's a bit of advice, never use "all" on this site, it pisses people off, LOL
Advice taken. lol I def. won't do that again, they were after me with pitchforks!! |
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are you saying your not a hot guy??? coulda fooled me... lmao I'm not even gonna comment on that. haha well I guess I just did. But I won't say anything else :) |
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I read the forum rules on how to post and that person guaranteed I'd find someone faster that way but I think it's bs, and here's why. When making a profile on a dating website, what do they ALWAYS recommend and say it will improve results... upload a picture! Sadly, this is the truth, because we have such high expectations that we want someone who is attractive before we'll even talk to them. That's not to say I'd talk up a conversation with everyone under the sun but some people are just sad. Here's an example: On another popular free dating website, I setup a fake account with a friend of mine's pics(with his permission) and he is known around the circle of friends to be very good looking. As you might expect, girls are MUCH more responsive to his messgaes opposed to those messages I'd send(usually a day or do later, so that she wouldn't suspect any foul play). Not only that, but girls were generally more open about their pasts than they were with my real profile. Numerous girls admitted to one-night stands, sexual partners, and one girl even gave her number after only a few messages(most of which were me intentionally acting like a jerk). A few girls were also very open to the idea of trading nude pictures(something I didn't even bring up to them!) all for a guy who for all they know might not even be available or, worse yet, not the guy they see in the profile. The point is: girls LOVE attention from a good-looking guy. They will put up with him being a jerk so they can "try to change him" but we all know that's not gonna happen. Sadly, I think the problem is that if girls get attention from ONE good-looking guy online, they immediately filter out all the guys who don't match up, because they think "If I can get one hot guy to message me, surely I can get others". Do I feel bad for tricking them? Hell no! It was an experiment I'm glad I did because it shows the truth that girls are indeed more superficial than they claim to be... at least online. I can't say the same for a girl who first meets a guy in person. On the flip side, being kind and courteous? What a load of crap! Girls hate that stuff. If they could have their way, they'd have a super hot guy treat them like total crap over a mediocre guy treating them like a queen. Like I said, with the fake profile, within the first message or 2, I was bringing up personal questions and most were very willing to answer. Now, some were questions I'd never ask from my real profile... I just have too much respect for a girl to ask that kind of stuff. But I suppose that's the problem. I care too much. Yes this is true , I agree. I have posted this point many times but you went into a lot more detail than I did. People are this way and there is nothing we can do about it. we cant force anyone to get to know us, if they want to they will, if they don't they wont. At the same time, guys do the same thing to women, even I have been guilty of it. There is one woman that claims to love me to no end, she seems sweet and her heart seems to be in the right place, but I am not interested. Its not cause I don't like her, she just isn't what I am looking for and I promised myself I will not settle. On that same note, If a hottie showed interest in me, but didn't have the qualities I was looking for, then I wouldn't settle on her just cause she is hot. It is hard to get to know someone through words and email, but it is a start. In my opinion, Internet dating takes patients and lots of time. If you don't find who you want overnight, its ok. But at the same time you will find a lot more of the people you dont like. You want to find someone unique to you, and it doesnt happen overnight. Its like a needle in a hay stack, you will find a lot of what you don't want, before you find what you really want. |
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Lots of guys say that though; that we want "the bad boy" and not "the nice guy." I like a guy to be nice to me, I just have trouble finding one who will. And most of the time, the self-proclaimed "nice guy" isn't that nice at all. You are right, though on the flip side, most guys who truly are "nice guys" aren't that attractive. If they were, girls wouldn't have such a hard time being interested in them. I'm just saying that, while it's true and sad and a fact, relationships are generally built around physical attraction. I'm not attacked any particular girl(ok well maybe the few who wanted to swap nude pics) I agree with you, however I'm probably the only person on the site who will. Most people here still labor under "looks don't mean anything, it's about personality." I don't labor under that. Like I said, I've done my own experiments so I get what you're saying. This just might not be the best place to discuss your findings. 
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Well said John
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are you saying your not a hot guy??? coulda fooled me... lmao I'm not even gonna comment on that. haha well I guess I just did. But I won't say anything else :) Confused at how I should take that... 
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are you saying your not a hot guy??? coulda fooled me... lmao I'm not even gonna comment on that. haha well I guess I just did. But I won't say anything else :) Confused at how I should take that...
he doesn't think he's cute, more's the pity.... |
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are you saying your not a hot guy??? coulda fooled me... lmao I'm not even gonna comment on that. haha well I guess I just did. But I won't say anything else :) Confused at how I should take that...
Yea, its a guy thing, you have to beat it into our heads before we get it. Let me help!!! This is the way I take it... ***WHACK WHACK***!!!!!!!SHE SAYS SHE THINKS YOUR HOT!!!!!! |
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are you saying your not a hot guy??? coulda fooled me... lmao I'm not even gonna comment on that. haha well I guess I just did. But I won't say anything else :) Confused at how I should take that...
Yea, its a guy thing, you have to beat it into our heads before we get it. Let me help!!! This is the way I take it... ***WHACK WHACK***!!!!!!!SHE SAYS SHE THINKS YOUR HOT!!!!!! exactly!! I thought it was pretty simple...but I guess sometimes its gotta be more blunt..silly boys. |
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We are evil! You just have to accept that Danny.
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are you saying your not a hot guy??? coulda fooled me... lmao I'm not even gonna comment on that. haha well I guess I just did. But I won't say anything else :) Confused at how I should take that...
Yea, its a guy thing, you have to beat it into our heads before we get it. Let me help!!! This is the way I take it... ***WHACK WHACK***!!!!!!!SHE SAYS SHE THINKS YOUR HOT!!!!!! exactly!! I thought it was pretty simple...but I guess sometimes its gotta be more blunt..silly boys. Yea, the blunt end of a stick. 
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Edited by
LeAiTàeRiSpEtTo20
on
Thu 07/30/09 06:51 PM
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I tend to agree with dan to an extent, lately I have been having a hard time getting girls to even meassge back, they just "view my profile" and then don't respond. Now no doubt not every girl is supposed to like any guy, but it gets stupid, when your on a dating site for a purpose, and the only thing are doing is viewing you?!?!?!?!
but not actually messaging back. Now not all of them have done this, but it is very common. And when a girl has a thing about how she want's a guy with these interests etc etc and then you have all those interests or want the same thing, and they just shun you it's stupid.
I am a really nice guy and I sure dan is too, and I am sure we are just sick of the image barrier, I mean specially when your on this site, you think people would be a little less shallow. well anyways, thats how I view it. hopefully I will find a girl, who will acutally want to know me, and not just view me like a picture on a wall. 
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maybe they are not liking what they see?
all anyone has on here is a first physical impression if your first impression is not working for you, try some new photos |
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I tend to agree with dan to an extent, lately I have been having a hard time getting girls to even meassge back, they just "view my profile" and then don't respond. Now no doubt not every girl is supposed to like any guy, but it gets stupid, when your on a dating site for a purpose, and the only thing are doing is viewing you?!?!?!?! but not actually messaging back. Now not all of them have done this, but it is very common. And when a girl has a thing about how she want's a guy with these interests etc etc and then you have all those interests or want the same thing, and they just shun you it's stupid.
I am a really nice guy and I sure dan is too, and I am sure we are just sick of the image barrier, I mean specially when your on this site, you think people would be a little less shallow. well anyways, thats how I view it. hopefully I will find a girl, who will acutally want to know me, and not just view me like a picture on a wall.
Good one... Your not alone.... |
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