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Topic: the 4 c's to a real relationship
bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 05:55 PM
compassion...not just fake interest or what ever shuts you up communication..like honesty commitment...you know faithfulness trust compromise...as in unselfishness a happy medium but it takes two to do it right. a break down in one leads to problems in the others

bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 06:33 PM
does this makes sense to anyone? i hope it does or my faith in humanity is lower than i thought

Ladylid2012 Joined Sun 07/05/09 Posts: 42269	Tue 09/22/09 06:34 PM
you left out the 5th C

bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 06:39 PM
you left out the 5th C ok i'll bite

Jess642 Joined Sat 03/31/07 Posts: 22732	Tue 09/22/09 06:42 PM
No expectations....no obligations... Integrity... Speaking your truth at all times. Respectfulness for both self and others Cause no INTENTIONAL harm. it ain't rocket science.

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Tue 09/22/09 06:47 PM
I feel the most important thing i a relationship is acceptance. You must accept your S/O for who they are. If you can do that one thing everything else is easy.

bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 06:50 PM
No expectations....no obligations... Integrity... Speaking your truth at all times. Respectfulness for both self and others Cause no INTENTIONAL harm. it ain't rocket science. no it isnt but the more i witness the more i see lack of understanding and total breakdown of that type of communication... if someone steps on my toe i say ouch likewise if someone does something that i dont care for i let them know but not in an a$$hole way its nice to have that returned ...mutual respect seems to be lacking allot nowadays

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Tue 09/22/09 06:57 PM
If your S/O does something you don't like you have to decide if it is really a deal breaker or simply annoying. If it's a deal breaker, leave. If it's just annoying, get used to it. It is part of who they are and you must accept them for who they are. For example if your man forgot to pick up milk you could start a fight. Or you could hug him and say "You know, I love you more each day." This goes both ways of course.

OkieTech1974 Joined Sat 09/29/07 Posts: 2629	Tue 09/22/09 07:00 PM
you left out the 5th C What's the 5th?

Jess642 Joined Sat 03/31/07 Posts: 22732	Tue 09/22/09 07:02 PM
If your S/O does something you don't like you have to decide if it is really a deal breaker or simply annoying. If it's a deal breaker, leave. If it's just annoying, get used to it. It is part of who they are and you must accept them for who they are. For example if your man forgot to pick up milk you could start a fight. Or you could hug him and say "You know, I love you more each day." This goes both ways of course. Hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh dear....... You're a sweetheart TS...

Phuque Joined Mon 11/17/08 Posts: 14151	Tue 09/22/09 07:05 PM
EeeeeK! Crying over spilt milk!

bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 07:06 PM
If your S/O does something you don't like you have to decide if it is really a deal breaker or simply annoying. If it's a deal breaker, leave. If it's just annoying, get used to it. It is part of who they are and you must accept them for who they are. For example if your man forgot to pick up milk you could start a fight. Or you could hug him and say "You know, I love you more each day." This goes both ways of course. theres plent of examples you give but honesty with your feelings on something and communicating that to your s/o is to me the best option then your not just sitting on it you spoke on it and you can move on from there..once you do that then the other knows and you learn quirks pet peeves and just straight out no no's and theres no mis communication

Jess642 Joined Sat 03/31/07 Posts: 22732	Tue 09/22/09 07:09 PM
Tolerance and acceptance is important....actually it's imperative in this thing we do called relationships. The best advice I ever received as a young un, was 'If your best girlfriend did that...would you be able to forgive/ignore/accept that about them?'

A64WOODY Joined Tue 03/04/08 Posts: 6830	Tue 09/22/09 07:11 PM
you left out the 5th C ok i'll bite conscious?

bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 07:18 PM
Tolerance and acceptance is important....actually it's imperative in this thing we do called relationships. The best advice I ever received as a young un, was 'If your best girlfriend did that...would you be able to forgive/ignore/accept that about them?' with out communication its all shot you could forget accept or ignore it all you want but how are they supposed to know it bothers you if you dont relate that to them? not sayin be an a$$ i'm sayin honesty with that sort of thing is the best policy...thats not sayin you dont accept them or tolerate it. its honest communication

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Tue 09/22/09 07:20 PM
theres plent of examples you give but honesty with your feelings on something and communicating that to your s/o is to me the best option then your not just sitting on it you spoke on it and you can move on from there..once you do that then the other knows and you learn quirks pet peeves and just straight out no no's and theres no mis communication But, love is about giving. It's not about demanding your S/O behave in the way you want them to. This has been the main issue in every relationship I've ever had with a woman be it my mother, sister, wife of girlfriend. She simply cannot accept me for who I am. Eventually she becomes a nag and we break up. I once had a girlfriend that bought tickets to see a band I didn't care to see. It wasn't that I didn't like them, I was indifferent. I told her I didn't want to go and she'd have much more fun if she took someone that liked the band as much as she did. But, she insisted I go with her even though I told her I'd likely fall asleep. At the show I did fall asleep and she was angry about it for days after. She was angry because I did exactly what I said I'd do! We broke up soon after.

bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 07:23 PM
theres plent of examples you give but honesty with your feelings on something and communicating that to your s/o is to me the best option then your not just sitting on it you spoke on it and you can move on from there..once you do that then the other knows and you learn quirks pet peeves and just straight out no no's and theres no mis communication But, love is about giving. It's not about demanding your S/O behave in the way you want them to. This has been the main issue in every relationship I've ever had with a woman be it my mother, sister, wife of girlfriend. She simply cannot accept me for who I am. Eventually she becomes a nag and we break up. I once had a girlfriend that bought tickets to see a band I didn't care to see. It wasn't that I didn't like them, I was indifferent. I told her I didn't want to go and she'd have much more fun if she took someone that liked the band as much as she did. But, she insisted I go with her even though I told her I'd likely fall asleep. At the show I did fall asleep and she was angry about it for days after. She was angry because I did exactly what I said I'd do! We broke up soon after. thats called compromise

bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 07:26 PM
theres plent of examples you give but honesty with your feelings on something and communicating that to your s/o is to me the best option then your not just sitting on it you spoke on it and you can move on from there..once you do that then the other knows and you learn quirks pet peeves and just straight out no no's and theres no mis communication But, love is about giving. It's not about demanding your S/O behave in the way you want them to. This has been the main issue in every relationship I've ever had with a woman be it my mother, sister, wife of girlfriend. She simply cannot accept me for who I am. Eventually she becomes a nag and we break up. I once had a girlfriend that bought tickets to see a band I didn't care to see. It wasn't that I didn't like them, I was indifferent. I told her I didn't want to go and she'd have much more fun if she took someone that liked the band as much as she did. But, she insisted I go with her even though I told her I'd likely fall asleep. At the show I did fall asleep and she was angry about it for days after. She was angry because I did exactly what I said I'd do! We broke up soon after. thats called compromise but but without the compassion

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Tue 09/22/09 07:28 PM
compassion...not just fake interest or what ever shuts you up communication..like honesty commitment...you know faithfulness trust compromise...as in unselfishness a happy medium but it takes two to do it right. a break down in one leads to problems in the others Humans tend to be selfish, poor communicators, and rather lazy. Humanity has no space in its "busy" schedule maintaining its own selfish ideology for a relationship. Most, not all people are ultimately useless. Therefore love cannot exist, not now anyway...maybe once it did.

trunner69 Joined Thu 10/30/08 Posts: 762	Tue 09/22/09 07:29 PM
Very nicely put....