It's the sequel that you have been waiting your life for.........



ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of
the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it
affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your
memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an
example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living
with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or
thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years

_____________________________________








ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband
said to you that morning?




WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"




ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?




WITNESS: My name is Susan.

______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever
been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when
a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old,
how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

______________________________________


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this
morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________


ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________ ________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy on him!

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?

____________________________________________


And the best for last.........
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing
law.

Wasn't it worht the wait

it was so worth the wait,,,
I laughed so hard i cried tears

LOL thanks for the laught i need that

My favorite are the one's w/ the doctor vs the lawyer especially since
they both tend to have big egos.

P.S.
Not all, but many.

from a doctor's viewpoint....

Anything to bring a ray of sunshine into everyone's lives. Just
remember that laughter is the best medicine.

LOL attorneys ask some stupid questions

Yeah, and some have egos to match

Not all though.

Let's hear it for the BAR exam!!

LM, that's actually an accurate description of the bar exam

lol

lmao awesome

bump