(Not a poem, just.. rambling to get somethings off my mind. Reply or don't your choice, it's only my sad thoughts construed in my endless loneliness.)

Love.

A deviant little concept, tightly wrapped in a lion cloth who bares wings and flings arrows but never seems to hit the right target.. I've tried to be what women have wanted from me. Honest, open, faithful, devoted; yet nothing I do, nothing I say, nothing I feel, ever seems to be enough..

I keep hearing that, 'I need to just believe', but I heard a story once of this Indian, who spent every night, for six years, waiting in the wilderness for this one spectacle to take place. Everyone told him it was impossible, he'd never be able to find it, but still he persisted, still he believed... Until finally.. he met his end never having been able to witness something he wanted more than anything..

So, while he waited for this occurrence, is that not the same as a miracle, if he had seen what he desired? Is love nothing more then a miracle only to be experienced by a few? Maybe it's just something far greater and vast; something that holds even a deeper meaning than that of debatable ideas, like religion, Gods, and history..

How much is needed to be sacrificed to find true love?

Almost always the first attempts find you with nothing more than disappointment, emptiness, solitude, and hopelessness. I understand why the trials and tribulations that you must endure to find true love are a basic necessity for life; I mean, if love was easy to obtain, wouldn't we all have it? Wouldn't some of us just be even more sick of it?

Me, personally, I don't know what I'm searching for..
Maybe I've lost my way.. Maybe I've given up more than I self acknowledge.. Maybe that true love I once I thought I once held close.. maybe that was it, that was my only chance for it.

There are so many beautiful ppl I've met, and even more so recently.
Cheeky, Socb, Mommy, Vivian, Stephanie..
But I can't help but wonder..
Even if they did feel that strong emotion for me.. Why do I constantly bear this eternal feeling that I will ruin it? That it's like my destiny to always descimate the things I care for, admire, and hold love for? I feel like I pre-ordain myself for failure.. so maybe that when I succeed, it's more of a surprise?

I'm not sure if I truly know what love is..
..but I do know..
I spend each waking moment wanting nothing more than to feel it again. To fall asleep each night, knowing she'll be there when I wake up..

I no longer dream. I've strayed far from the concepts of faith..
I might be here, before you, writing this to blind ears..
..but I am lost, broken, and empty..

How do you recover from such a feeling of loss and abandonment?
Is there a way to fill the void left behind in the tragedy of losing love? I ask, because i know I can't simply just cover the hole and pretend it never happened..

I flirt and tease alot, but part of me knows.. that's only becuz i want to feel wanted, liked, and appreciated when I know I'm not. Maybe I try and push ppl away before they get too close..

Maybe, just maybe, true and eternal love does exist..
..but maybe, it's just not for everyone..

I can only seem to do what I know best..
Survive, endure, and keeping pressing forward..
..but will I solve the mysteries of the afterlife, before I find my place of happiness?

I want, nothing more, than to forget the past.. ignore the fact it follows me everywhere.. So I can be the man, I once was.

I have alot of love and heart to give to any woman..
..but words are never the same as actions..

I guess, even the biggest and brightest of hearts..
Still wander aimlessly in dark places..

wowwwwwwwwww

...what?
..and how in Gods name did you even read it that fast?!

I was gonna read it but I got A.D.D and that's why too long for me to keep focused. Haha

I am a Android .I am 10000000000 faster then you

What a beautiful heart and soul you have...Out there somewhere is the one you seek, and that one person, is seeking someone just like you...Never give up on your dream, for without dreams, then there is no hope, and without hope, there are no more dreams...Be who you are, and once again, yes believe in you, because if you can't, then noone else will...

You may have loved before and lost that, but you need to let that go in order for a totally new love to come and find you...Be open to anything that comes your way...The past is exactly that, the past...Been there done that, gone, never forgotten...It is the 'now' you are in, and the 'now' is what matters...Don't look back to what you had...Look forward to what you can have...

I wish you all the very best on your quest, and I am sure when that 'one' comes along, she will rock your socks off like you never thought anyone could...

See it...Know it...Believe it...For it is yours to have....

Ha! lol
Not interested in hearing my heart speak, eh?
Understood.
I ignore it as well. =]

When I ramble.. it's never short..

That's hot!
Do you have a vibrating function?

Seriously, tho..
Wow what? Bad good?

Very deep thoughts you have there. Just be assured that you are not alone with your feelings and thoughts...

I don't wanna hear of your heart break.
I wanna mend it <3.

I used to think that same way.. till I met my one ex.. he showed me that there is still love an you can find it. the way I see things.. there is no "one" there are many..just takes time to find someone you can get along with an not get bored of. We did end up having to break because I needed to better myself an did not want to do the long distance thing. so we have become really good friends.

Keep looking an keep your head up, you never know when she may walk by you. in the mean time why not try to better yourself. Do some soul searching an find that man you used to me. never lose faith!

at times it does get hard, I feel it from time to time but I know I have to keep pushing on! Things will get better with time.

I don't any of it intentionally.. but I still do it.
idk how to change..
4 yrs in one frame of mind..
*sigh*
.....

That's good to know.
Doesn't help.
But good to know.
lol

lol
I said heart speak..
..not break..

But I like that you wanna mend it. =]

Frick off I was being cute darn it :(

I am soul searching. =]
Thanx redhead. hehe

And it totally was!
=]

Darn right!

lllllllllll
iiiiiiiiiii
xxxxxxxxxxx
=]