OK. Here's my story.
I met my now ex wife back in 1989 when I was working as a DJ in a local Disco.
We started going out, moved in together in 1991.
In 1994 we married and 5 months later out first daughter was born.
1996, our son arrived followed by our third child, another daughter 2 years later.
I stayed home and looked after the kids while she worked.
Shortly after, I had the snip, and life carried on.
In 2001, I suffered a mild stroke, and although there weren't any serious after effects, life carried on.
In 2003, on my birthday, my wife told me that she didn't love me anymore.
She insisted there was no one else involved
We agreed on a trial seperation, and I moved out.
However, 3 months after I moved out, a guy who was a friend from the local bowling club moved in!
I was devastated!
Now. I saw my kids every other weekend, and I don't know what it was, maybe self pity, I don't know. but I didn't give the kids the attention the deservered. And because I live about 4 miles away in a small village, as they've grown, I've seen them less and less.
I divorced in 2005 and my now ex and so called 'friend' married in 2008. Buying for cash and building a big house in a new development area, about 5 miles away The kids have their own rooms and the attic is one huge play room.
They have everything they want.
They used to call me regualarly and vice versa.
The village where I now live is out in the country, and it is a very tight knit community.
Strangers are not exactly welcomed with open arms, and the locals tend to stick together.
Apart from when I was working, I very rarely go out, and tend to keep myself to myself.
However. Last Christmas, I never heard from them and there was no reply when I tried calling.
I never heard from them on my birthday or on Fathers day.
I've continued trying to call them whenever possible, but when I ask if they want to come and see me, All I get is;
'I don't know'
I don't like going to their place for obvious reasons.
Other times, they are either out with friends, or have some activity or other in school.
I asked, by phone, this morning if any of them would like to come to see me for a couple of hours at the weekend, and although I've offered to pick them up. (I have a scooter only, because for the last 10 months, I've been surviving on social security payments)
I can't do any heavy lifting work as I had an operation for a slipped disc in my back in 2006, and because of this, I can't lift anything over 30lbs.
I have my suspicions that my ex has been manipulating them, but the kids say no one has said anything to them.
I suffer occasionally from depression because of this, and am definitely not looking forwards to another holiday season alone and staring at the four walls again.

Sorry. If I sound as if I'm looking for pity.
I'M NOT!
I just wanted to let my feelings out.
I'm extremely grateful for having friends here on Mingle who I am able to, by the power of the internet stay sane and upbeat.
Thank you all.

Hope ya feel better !

Try not to let it get you down and just be the best Dad you can. My son, for his own reasons, started to express disinterest in going to see his father at around the age of 15, I made sure he went anyway,, but the feelings may just be a right of passage. From your own feelings it doesnt sound as if you much enjoy where you live, you just seem to not have many other options. If you dont enjoy it much, its possible the kids feel the same. Kids never stay away too long from those who have shown them love. Give it time and I think they will want to have their Dad as their heart and mind mature enough to realize how important you are.

I suffer occasionally from depression because of this, and am definitely not looking forwards to another holiday season alone and staring at the four walls again.

^Just occasionally, man that has to be tough and weigh on the emotions every minute of the day.....sadly I think fate has done you a huge disfavor, medically speaking has basically cost you the life you had, but alas' all is not over, you need to start anew, get out more, seek out GENUINE people as obviously your ex wasn't. The thing with the kids will probably remain the same until they wise up and realize you were the same man who not only brought them into this world, but changed their s.h.i.t.t.y diapers as well. It's a me me me world today and kids are caught up in the "who has the most money syndrome or who can provide the most for them materially. You sound like a good guy, hopefully you'll find someone to appreciate you for you, instead of what you can give them......Sad that your kids are missing out on a loving dad and common sense...oh well, tis the world

For the kids as long as they are happy and law abiding folks I do not see a problem there . For you as a father I understand how hard it is for you not to be able to see your own kids . Patience is a virtue and take life as easy as you can . The kids are your blood and you will never forget them and I hope they will never forget you too . Human manipulation is everywhere . The good news is that the kids are happy and healthy . The bad news is you can not see them when you want although you are their father .
All the best to you and take care of yourself .

Do your best to maintain contact with your kids. Just love them as best you can. Make efforts to become involved in your community.
To see a familiar, you have to be a familiar face.

Good Luck.

The holidays have a way of getting to us as well.

Keep your chin up, continue to reach out to your kids.

They do grow up and remember all those times you reached out to them.

just keep trying for your kids they will come around in time when they are ready but dont give up or they might think you dont care.