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Topic: Group for Parents of special needs children
tanyaann's photo
Fri 03/07/14 03:56 PM


Ive been so lucky. I found a group of mommies of kids with aspergers and autism, and we share things that have worked for our children. We also share things that work for ourselves, particularly the isolation while we tend to our children.

We use vetiver for the outbursts. If its bad, you could give it a try. Everyone responds differently to everything, so its all with a grain of salt.

J will be going to college next year, majoring in engineering and computer science. We were at the open house last weekend, and it seems that there will be a few other aspies around. Not so rare, in that setting, as Im sure you will understand.


That is what I am looking for and finally making time to make it happen. Just people that understand. Its not something you can really explain to someone who has not experienced it firsthand.

Is Vetiver a prescription? He is currently on Celexa & Triliptal. He was fine on them for almost a year but now he is sleeping more & gaining a lot of weight.

Yes, I am sure. My son is quite intelligent when it comes to his computer. That is where he does his form of "stimming".


Those are some heavy duty psychiatric medications! Have they tried him on any non-psych or non-psychotic medications?

ApiphanySeason's photo
Fri 03/07/14 04:06 PM



Ive been so lucky. I found a group of mommies of kids with aspergers and autism, and we share things that have worked for our children. We also share things that work for ourselves, particularly the isolation while we tend to our children.

We use vetiver for the outbursts. If its bad, you could give it a try. Everyone responds differently to everything, so its all with a grain of salt.

J will be going to college next year, majoring in engineering and computer science. We were at the open house last weekend, and it seems that there will be a few other aspies around. Not so rare, in that setting, as Im sure you will understand.


That is what I am looking for and finally making time to make it happen. Just people that understand. Its not something you can really explain to someone who has not experienced it firsthand.

Is Vetiver a prescription? He is currently on Celexa & Triliptal. He was fine on them for almost a year but now he is sleeping more & gaining a lot of weight.

Yes, I am sure. My son is quite intelligent when it comes to his computer. That is where he does his form of "stimming".


Those are some heavy duty psychiatric medications! Have they tried him on any non-psych or non-psychotic medications?


WOW! Ummm these are the first he has been on. The Celexa is for depression and Triliptal is suppose to be for the anxiety & aggression. Was told these were the first meds used in trying to adjust his moods.

tanyaann's photo
Fri 03/07/14 04:16 PM
Edited by tanyaann on Fri 03/07/14 04:18 PM
Yes, Celexa is for depression (and your son is older - so I would worry about this one)....

Triliptal.... I would be hesitant.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/meds/a601245.html#why


Always research the medications that doctor's want your children to take.... some of them have non-reversible side effects such as heart damage or involuntary tremors/movements.

You don't have to accept what a psychiatrist is prescribing... you need to ask why they are prescribing for YOUR child (not depression, anxiety etc), what symptoms/behaviors are they trying to reduce and what are the side effects.

By all means, I am not anti-medication.

But, I work in the mental health field..... and I think often parents of DD/ASD just accept what a doctor writes!

I had a doctor want to put my son on an anti-psychotic. I basically told her to *(^%$ and went back to my peditrican and worked with him.

Adding a simple SSRI (the Strattera) made all the difference!

Now, granted this may change once he hit puberty.

I guess the point of my long winded story is to ask questions..... and keep asking.... and keep pushing for your child to get the help/interventions/treatment that he deserves.

ApiphanySeason's photo
Fri 03/07/14 04:41 PM

Yes, Celexa is for depression (and your son is older - so I would worry about this one)....

Triliptal.... I would be hesitant.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/meds/a601245.html#why


Always research the medications that doctor's want your children to take.... some of them have non-reversible side effects such as heart damage or involuntary tremors/movements.

You don't have to accept what a psychiatrist is prescribing... you need to ask why they are prescribing for YOUR child (not depression, anxiety etc), what symptoms/behaviors are they trying to reduce and what are the side effects.

By all means, I am not anti-medication.

But, I work in the mental health field..... and I think often parents of DD/ASD just accept what a doctor writes!

I had a doctor want to put my son on an anti-psychotic. I basically told her to *(^%$ and went back to my peditrican and worked with him.

Adding a simple SSRI (the Strattera) made all the difference!

Now, granted this may change once he hit puberty.

I guess the point of my long winded story is to ask questions..... and keep asking.... and keep pushing for your child to get the help/interventions/treatment that he deserves.


I was given a list of meds that they wanted to put him on and was told to research them with his worker, which I did. Surprisingly enough, these had the least side effects, with what began with low doses. Now again, there was and still is a bout with severe depression..because of all we have been through and I think the Celexa has helped with that but I feel like the Triliptal is not working so well....and he is on 1800mg a day. I have to go back for a check up with a new doctor next week and I am going to discuss other options...also ask about the SSRI you mentioned.

He is in an awesome program called Michelle P Waiver that provides in-home therapy, ADT, Respit, CLS and a slew of other resources. It has helped. However, I am concerned about the meds.

tanyaann's photo
Fri 03/07/14 07:10 PM
Strattera is an anti-depressant.... so they probably wouldn't mix it with Celexa.

Takes a long time to find a right combination of medication and therapies.

Do research (like you have been).... and don't only look at the drug companies websites.... look on forums by where other parents post on their experiences.

If the doctor gave you a list of drugs and told you to research them... that personally would make me nervous. Doctors usually have their go-to's that they start with depending on the symptoms/behaviors.

Anyways..... You are doing a fabulous job! Don't let me frustrate you. Anything, you are doing to help your son is great! Keep up the good work! flowerforyou

tanyaann's photo
Fri 03/07/14 07:15 PM
Edited by tanyaann on Fri 03/07/14 07:16 PM




Do research (like you have been).... and don't only look at the drug companies websites.... look on forums by where other parents post on their experiences.

this.
I no longer trust the CDC, or the FDA either.


I am lucky that I work at a mental health agency.... so I can ask one of the nurses about long-term side effects.

But, not everyone has a nurse to go to....

Whatever you do, Apiphany, don't blame yourself!! And, tell anyone that has a 'problem' with your child... tell them to go shove it! :wink:

waving And, welcome to mingle2! Be sure to post on other forums! biggrin

tanyaann's photo
Sat 03/08/14 07:59 AM
Parents that have aspies ... do you find your child doesn't have the ability to pick up after themselves? Unless, they are wanting something?

ApiphanySeason's photo
Sat 03/08/14 10:24 AM

vetiver is an essential oil (from 'Young Living Essential Oils').

Its not a drug. He just swipes a roll on of it on the back of his neck.

He will run back and forth across the room, punching his thighs without it. At the onset of anger (that he has no idea where it comes from) I ask him if he thinks he needs some vetiver. He usually decides 'yes'. The first 3 times, I made him try it. From then on I told him it was his choice. He says it works so he uses it.

As for sleep, the aspie population is well seasoned in sleeplessness. Different things work for different kids.

J took melatonin, and only for a few months. His brain seems to release enough now on its own. The morning after his first dose of it, he was afraid to use it again because he thought he was already addicted. He said he feels so good he'll want it all the time. I told him "Thats called 'rested'"laugh It was the first time he ever remembers sleeping through the night. 12 yrs old.


I am going to check into the Vetiver. Definitely!
He sleeping is huge issue. He doesn't want to wake up on time because he is exhausted from laying awake all night...then that does not help with anger. We tried Melatonin. It didn't seem to phase him. Then they put him on Trazadone. That was just not happening...he was almost in a coma! Still trying to figure it all out!!!

ApiphanySeason's photo
Sat 03/08/14 10:26 AM

My son got aspie dx this past year about a year after his twin sister's were born. I never quite understood that I was providing him with such a structured environment.... I just knew he was 'difficult'.

He was dx with adhd at age 6.

My son is currently on Vyvanse and Strattera. I think that Strattera has made a difference.... and less objects are flying around the house and if he has a melt-down it's usually for less than an hour. Where in the past, his meltdowns could last 2-4 hours.

I am glad that you came here for support. There are also some really good groups on Facebook.

I think one that I am on... is called Asperger Awareness. They share a lot of great information and support.


Thanks! I think my being pregnant and the birth of his sister was a huge stress factor. It was unknown to him and then her being just the average kid running around causing havoc...yea it gets trying at times.

What is Vyvanse and Strattera used for?

tanyaann's photo
Sat 03/08/14 10:32 AM


My son got aspie dx this past year about a year after his twin sister's were born. I never quite understood that I was providing him with such a structured environment.... I just knew he was 'difficult'.

He was dx with adhd at age 6.

My son is currently on Vyvanse and Strattera. I think that Strattera has made a difference.... and less objects are flying around the house and if he has a melt-down it's usually for less than an hour. Where in the past, his meltdowns could last 2-4 hours.

I am glad that you came here for support. There are also some really good groups on Facebook.

I think one that I am on... is called Asperger Awareness. They share a lot of great information and support.


Thanks! I think my being pregnant and the birth of his sister was a huge stress factor. It was unknown to him and then her being just the average kid running around causing havoc...yea it gets trying at times.

What is Vyvanse and Strattera used for?



Vyvanse is a stimulant for ADHD (not too much different from Adderall).

Strattera is a SSRI - Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor - it's an anti-depressant.

My son is 11 now. He has been on adhd medication since age 6.

Adding the Strattera recently has helped with his emotional meltdowns.

ApiphanySeason's photo
Sat 03/08/14 10:32 AM

Parents that have aspies ... do you find your child doesn't have the ability to pick up after themselves? Unless, they are wanting something?


This is a HUGE ordeal around here (Aspie & a 3 yr old)....I like things clean and organized...only then do I feel like I can relax...so this is never. I definitely have to use something SPECIAL as bargaining tools for getting help to clean up the messes caused by both :wink:

He gets stressed that there is a mess but then gets overwhelmed helping cleaning it up..... slaphead

His thing is his computer...so I have a password set on it and when he has done his chores, I turn it back on.

tanyaann's photo
Sat 03/08/14 10:38 AM


Parents that have aspies ... do you find your child doesn't have the ability to pick up after themselves? Unless, they are wanting something?


This is a HUGE ordeal around here (Aspie & a 3 yr old)....I like things clean and organized...only then do I feel like I can relax...so this is never. I definitely have to use something SPECIAL as bargaining tools for getting help to clean up the messes caused by both :wink:

He gets stressed that there is a mess but then gets overwhelmed helping cleaning it up..... slaphead

His thing is his computer...so I have a password set on it and when he has done his chores, I turn it back on.


Yep... video games and tv with my son.

I had parental controls on it... but he would look over my shoulder and instantly memorize the code.

I am going to have to put a block on the Wii because he has found the YouTube channel on it... and these people that are recording themselves playing video games and commenting.

Most that he has watched have been child appropriate, but last night he could one where the comments where not!

ApiphanySeason's photo
Sat 03/08/14 10:42 AM

Strattera is an anti-depressant.... so they probably wouldn't mix it with Celexa.

Takes a long time to find a right combination of medication and therapies.

Do research (like you have been).... and don't only look at the drug companies websites.... look on forums by where other parents post on their experiences.

If the doctor gave you a list of drugs and told you to research them... that personally would make me nervous. Doctors usually have their go-to's that they start with depending on the symptoms/behaviors.

Anyways..... You are doing a fabulous job! Don't let me frustrate you. Anything, you are doing to help your son is great! Keep up the good work! flowerforyou


NO! NO! You are not frustrating me! I need to be pulled out of my FULL ON FOCUS and look at things from a a different angle. So this is helping I know its a journey...I am in it for the long haul! Kudos to you too Mom!!! Thank you! flowerforyou

ApiphanySeason's photo
Sat 03/08/14 10:50 AM



Parents that have aspies ... do you find your child doesn't have the ability to pick up after themselves? Unless, they are wanting something?


This is a HUGE ordeal around here (Aspie & a 3 yr old)....I like things clean and organized...only then do I feel like I can relax...so this is never. I definitely have to use something SPECIAL as bargaining tools for getting help to clean up the messes caused by both :wink:

He gets stressed that there is a mess but then gets overwhelmed helping cleaning it up..... slaphead

His thing is his computer...so I have a password set on it and when he has done his chores, I turn it back on.


Yep... video games and tv with my son.

I had parental controls on it... but he would look over my shoulder and instantly memorize the code.

I am going to have to put a block on the Wii because he has found the YouTube channel on it... and these people that are recording themselves playing video games and commenting.

Most that he has watched have been child appropriate, but last night he could one where the comments where not!


OMG! This is my son! He recreates video games on his computer and Youtube full on! For about 2 months he was without the comp because it died and I had gotten him a Wii U for Christmas...because his comp was down (used as a bargaining and reinforcement) he felt like he did not need to do his list and getting him to lay off the Wii U was just damn near impossible! So now that the comp is back...we are pretty much having to start back over with him working for the comp and not throwing fits, verbal assaults...and physical attacks towards me.

ApiphanySeason's photo
Sat 03/08/14 11:04 AM



OMG! This is my son! He recreates video games on his computer and Youtube full on! For about 2 months he was without the comp because it died and I had gotten him a Wii U for Christmas...because his comp was down (used as a bargaining and reinforcement) he felt like he did not need to do his list and getting him to lay off the Wii U was just damn near impossible! So now that the comp is back...we are pretty much having to start back over with him working for the comp and not throwing fits, verbal assaults...and physical attacks towards me.
Thats typical for some of our kids. I would remove it from the home entirely for a period. I havent had this issue tho, so maybe someone with more experience can provide better insight.


Can't remove it...it is form of stimming. He would be heartbroken... this was discussed with his therapist as well

ApiphanySeason's photo
Sat 03/08/14 11:20 AM



Can't remove it...it is form of stimming. He would be heartbroken... this was discussed with his therapist as well
Which is his stimming?


The computer and what he does on it. He recreates video games making them harder to play...nerve wracking hard. The Wii U was a poor substitute..he would play a few games but mostly watch others that recorded their own hard to play versions on YouTube....he begged and cried to me every day to fix his comp. It was a very long 2 months for both of us.

Faithful2014's photo
Tue 04/22/14 10:10 PM
Edited by Faithful2014 on Tue 04/22/14 10:13 PM
I'm a mother of an autistic child. Anybody else find it hard to date or go out

tanyaann's photo
Sat 05/03/14 06:22 PM
When I was a single mother, it was hard in general. But, I find it more difficult to have a blended family with an autistic child.... ohwell

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