Chrissy's Road to Recovery Part 26

A few years ago, I would never have believe that I had tied my self worth to someone else. After he left, it seemed to have gone with him. My sense of self worth is harder to find than I thought.

Do you value yourself? Is it a a part of you or a work in progress? Share your secrets with me and a few Minglelites.

I value myself, but I am a work in PROGRESS. I, too, based my own self worth on someone else. Now that he is gone, I am still rebuilding myself and realizing it IS truly hard to find sometimes. I surely hope you find yours and I find mine.

...always a work in progress. Seems I define myself as "mom" more than anything else. Now their grown up and I'm going...huh, now what am I??

Working on the "value" as of late..

Technically we seem to be taught from a young age to value ourselves based on others. We compare our physical to what we see in the media and determine our lovability from that. We are even taught to date within our "league".

It is hard to get to a point where we love and respect ourselves as we are and decide to make changes based on what will please ourselves instead of depending on others to tell us what and who we should be.

Codependency is a wicked master.

This is a very good point.

I have always resisted what I call the "adjunct mentality" -- that is, the idea that one defines oneself through one's relation to other people.

There are people who so strongly link themselves to another person that they actually use the other person's name as part of their own screen name -- it always makes me wonder -- did they not exist before the association with this egregiously-significant other? Will they cease to exist if and when the link is severed?

I'm sorry, but if I want to know about someone, I want to know about that person -- and if there's nothing more to that person than who they know, if they have no separate identity/existence outside of who they know, then there isn't going to be much for me to work with.

True that girlfriend...all those well intended adults that "teach" us.
All beings should have to freedom to be who they are without judgment.

I have much more self worth today than I did a few years ago. I value myself today, what I do, who I am and what I'm about. It takes time and will always be a work in progress. My self worth increases as I grow...

I learned a long time ago that tying your self worth to other people is the same as being a dog chained out in the yard. All you ever get to see is the back of the house and other dogs on chains.

I myself can be found for 99 cents in the bargain bin.......

Yeah, I'm the infamous Hurricane Kate ...

... World's definitive Gold Medal Prize holder for ... (*drum roll please*) :


... Surfing Tsunamis w/ a smile on my face as I floss and simultaneously crankin' a 7 course meal out while I juggle slinkies and yodel Opera as I dodge the cow patty laden frontier sometimes called my life in concert w/ performing surgery in nefarious back~alleys!

... Coming soon to paperback and destined to be a best seller in all the finest hardware stores ...

Oh, yeah, step to this ...

*bada~dum~tssssssssss*

I love some ME ....

Self love is the most important love............

If you don't love yourself, how can someone else love you....

JMO

4 ft 11? 100 lbs? sounds about perfect.

Me: Definately a work in progress... huge task ahead of me. I struggle with answering that same kinda' question.
It's easy to accept that we all have worth... harder to define it. Nicer to have someone else tell us about how much they value us... never happens as much as we'd like.
Don't confuse his leaving with some kind of universal condemnation... I've read like 3 or 4 posts written by you and can plainly see that you are genuinely a nice, kind person. You're introspective, considerate to others and obviously intelligent. You're kinda' spunky in a sexy sorta' way, and rather attractive too.(and no, that's not a come-on... just an observation). In short you have worth. Now if some creepy guy on a dating site can see this "worth" in you after read a few blog postings, objectively speaking, I'd bet that's there's a lot more things Loads of it.
I guess it begs the question "what are YOU going do with all that woman...?"
I'd suggest that you treat her well, she deserves it.

I'm sorry all, I got distracted. Some of these posts are amazing.

Mo, you always make me smile. I have felt like a chained dog before.

Jlove, I wish you luck and strength.

Teditis, welcome and thank you very much. I don't consider you creepy. For only having 19 posts under your belt, you are articulate, thought provoking and relevant.

Neversurrender, thank you but I am far from perfect.

Livelife, that is where I am going and my journey begins with a single step.

LA, Lexi, HeartNSoul, Newark, Lori, Kate, Dragoness, you all inspire me everyday just to be better.

Thank you, and right back at you, Chrissy!

Sure.... but someone always comes along and uses a coupon on me...

Now, see what I mean... that was a wonderful thing to say. Made me smile and feel good... only ppl of worth can do that for others. Thnx.

Value myself.......YES

love myself..........YES


Found myself years ago~ it was a hard and long trip

but when I got there. VaVaVoom!!!!!!~~~~didn't know what an incredible~beautiful~worthy woman was waiting for me!!

(and ppl actually do not like me~~~go figure! Lol)