Yup!

Give up the fantasy of that too ... we all have tarnished armor ... it's called life.

Sorry for ya'...

It is hard to make out who's who online... sortin' out playas from confused people from sincere people... it's all very different.

Yeah, I fell in love, had my soul touched and it ended up poorly. Not a "failed" relationship... something that I've learned from. But the fault wasn't hers... more mine. I guess that I would have to classify myself as "confused"... not sure what to expect outta internet dating. Kinda outta sync with dating someone 700 miles away and chatting only online and phone... it just doesn't work for me.

That's something I have to realize for next time... but that's just me. I do think that you can begin great relationships online... and each person is gonna have different strengths and weaknesses; different preferences. I need face to face time...

I guess what I'm sayin is to know yourself first... know what you want and what you want from your "mate". Not expectations that you place on others... things that would require them to change... just personality traits that you need to see in him.

KC is right... he was a fraud. Knowing now that he was a player doesn't stop the pain but it is something that you can use to help get over the pain... get angry. Then move on... there are some great people here.

GL to ya'

The thing about con-artists is, they are succesful because they are good at it...not because you are dumb. It sounds like sociopathic behavior...in other words a blessing in disguise.

I hope you feel better soon

I don't think it could have gotten worse. Seriously. I wouldn't EVER wanna feel this much pain again. I just wanted to fall asleep and not wake up; that's how much I hurt.

That is one of my faults. I don't get angry. I may be 51, but I'm so damn naive.... I always tell my friends, I'm not meant to live in this world. There's so many liars; fakes and idots. My heart is so damn soft.

Sweet for you to say. And, I would agree. He's a con-artist.

On-line dating is like spending the day at Disney land..there are many marvelous things to see and experience and as long as you keep your feet firmly planted on the floor its ok to let your head soar high into the sky...most of it is fake, and some of it is real..enjoy the show and try not to take it too seriously, no point in falling so hard for something that wasnt even real to begin with...

pain wanes with time, as you know, and it will hurt for awhile. you are wiser from this experience, next time obey the logical sense that you swept aside in this case. beauty blinds many of us.

Sweet and sexi, my advice, first and foremost: don't do anything stupid. When someone is as badly hurt as you are now, the world seems to have collapsed.

It did collapse for me too, and I was young, very young. I am sure the thought crossed your mind that you're not getting any younger; if not this guy, then who else? How many others are to come across your way, what with everything being equal: The length of time you waited for him, the height you soared with him, the pain you felt at the time of impact in the crash down.

So... just be brave. That's the best you can do at the moment. Yes, thinking, too, sorting things out, doing it overtime even. Sorting things out in one's head is extremely important. If you have no pre-existing nervous or emotional or mental condition, then just keep sorting, meditating, remembering, trying to make sense of the whole thing the way only you can.

If you have had some emotional issues in the past that were deemed clinical, seek help.

This help is only to keep you from going bonkers. Nobody can help you in a direct and definite way with the problem you face now. You alone and only yourself alone can srtraighten out this shlamastick.

That's why I said: Courage.

Some people in your situation stomp into rebound and let themselves fall to the wolves (i.e. have sex indiscriminately) which in a way would be your expression of the resentment you feel toward your lover for betraying you. Other people in your situation go into a cocoon. Some start to drink. Still others give themselves to charity, you know, sitting in a booth in a hospital entrance, giving directions to people who want to know which way to the Uncology department, because their Uncle is in for a hernia operation.

Still others ... eh, what's the difference? These things are all useful, people do these things because they have to do SOMETHING, no? It does not matter what they do, it still hurts like hell inside.

The basic thing is... listen to yourself, to your guts, to your mind, to your feelings. They say a person is his or her own best doctor, because they are literally the closest to being in tune with, and therefore receive, the signals they get from their own bodies or minds.

If something makes you feel good, even if at first you don't know what it is, make sure you separate the feeling and the source out of the general environment and examine them... get familiar with them and then seek them out from then on as often as you can, whenever you can.

If this works, there will be soon another thing cropping up. Isolate and get familiar with that, too... and so forth.

It will take time... and eventually you'll heal.

The things I mean for you to notice and single out, I can't tell you what they are going to be, but I can tell what they were for me. In my case the firs thing was the swaying of tree limbs. A single tree limb, in the light wind. Then I saw a painting, in a book maybe, an auction house's catalogue, that showed an open window, with the outside being dark, as it was evening, with the curtains, which were made of a light, see-through, white material, obviously swinging very gently just like the limbs of trees. The mental-visual memory of these two images were the only things that gave me peace for a long while.

Much later I went into poetry and writing stuff.

Have I healed? What's the benchmark? I am not as happy as I was and never will be again, compared to when I was 6-11 years of age. But so far the last healing thing I discovered for myself is humour, and I laugh and laugh and laugh.

I don't know.

Be brave; do it your way. Listen to advice, but don't feel you need to or are obliged to take it. Seek out professional help if you think you could endanger your own life or limbs. Try to act reasonable, and work it out on your own if you are up to it. If you are not suffering from OCD, then you can't think about this too much. Think away all you desire. Whatever.

We are all amateurs here. We can't give advice. Despite our best intentions.

Eh.

He lied to you, it happens, will happen a lot actually. It isn't the internet, regardless of what avenue you choose...if you chase someone who lies and cheats, you're chasing someone who lies and cheats.

Basically you were being played by a player.

They are every where not just online.

Players lie.

Hopefully you learned the lesson needed here so you will know what to do when you meet your next player.

My one cent on this.

double YEP!!

Yer right. He wasn't that awesome. Acceptance is half the battle.

You have to finally realize that if in fact ha had been your Knight in shinning armor he would not have cut your heart in half with his sword....... One day you will see him stripped of his armor and only the court jester he really is...........Only time will finally open your eyes to see that he was only a puppeteer and you were one of many puppets on his string..... Then and only then you will take him off his pedestal you have put him upon. And see him for the true person he really is.....

One person did. It was an amazing experience. The good times were the best I've ever known, the end was devastating beyond comparison.



I know people who have. So it can happen.



I've found claims and illusions of love online. Same as what I've found in real life; although my online experience is limited to 9 people, all of whom I would be better off never having met. (In fairness, I would say the same thing about all of my real-life exes as well.)



No. It takes a little time, but their true agendas always seem to come out eventually.



The last one, the one who really mattered, it ended because I fixed her problems and she didn't need me anymore.

The 8 before her were all totally dishonest about who they were and what they were looking for.