Topic: Being "too needy" or "too pushy"....
GreenEyes48's photo
Thu 09/02/10 08:03 AM
I like you...I want you...You're the one...Let's hook-up and become a couple right now....Have you ever run into people who want to "swoop you up" right off the bat because they feel an attraction to you? But yet...you don't feel this same kind of "click" or "instant attraction" to them?...Do you ever worry about appearing "too needy" or coming on "too strong" yourself?....What does it mean to be "needy?" How would you define coming on "too strong?...It's nice when there is a "mutual attraction" and both people feel a "click" at the same time....This way no one has to "push" anyone or worry about coming across as a "pest." How do you feel about all of it? Thanks...

venusenvy's photo
Thu 09/02/10 08:05 AM
Uh-huh...giant redflag G'friend I would run away like my azz is on fire Eeeeeeeee scared

venusenvy's photo
Thu 09/02/10 08:07 AM
Love happens naturally or not at all...you cant force it, and only a fool thinks they control love cause in the end, love controls all of us! flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 09/02/10 08:13 AM

I like you...I want you...You're the one...Let's hook-up and become a couple right now....Have you ever run into people who want to "swoop you up" right off the bat because they feel an attraction to you? But yet...you don't feel this same kind of "click" or "instant attraction" to them?...Do you ever worry about appearing "too needy" or coming on "too strong" yourself?....What does it mean to be "needy?" How would you define coming on "too strong?...It's nice when there is a "mutual attraction" and both people feel a "click" at the same time....This way no one has to "push" anyone or worry about coming across as a "pest." How do you feel about all of it? Thanks...


Yes, I have come across this, and what a learning experience it was!!! I will not allow anyone to "swoop" me into a relationship because they "feel you're the one". You get so caught up in the moment (attention, words, etc....), that you forget to think how you genuinely feel about the person/relationship.

I am definitely not "needy". I'm very comfortable doing for myself and love my "me" time/space. Heck, I may just have an issue with this as I may get too comfortable. lol

Coming on too "strong" in a relationship is like suffocating a person -- not allowing things to develop on its own. It makes me want to run for the hills!!!


no photo
Thu 09/02/10 08:16 AM
Everything takes time...you should never feel like you have to rush into anything with anybody. It is either there or it isn't. Take your time, get to know somebody and let them get to know you too. No one should ever feel pressured.

no photo
Thu 09/02/10 08:32 AM

I like you...I want you...You're the one...Let's hook-up and become a couple right now....Have you ever run into people who want to "swoop you up" right off the bat because they feel an attraction to you? But yet...you don't feel this same kind of "click" or "instant attraction" to them?...Do you ever worry about appearing "too needy" or coming on "too strong" yourself?....What does it mean to be "needy?" How would you define coming on "too strong?...It's nice when there is a "mutual attraction" and both people feel a "click" at the same time....This way no one has to "push" anyone or worry about coming across as a "pest." How do you feel about all of it? Thanks...


Yeah, this has happened to me a lot -- when I was younger, I took it as a compliment and tended to go along with it because I felt like "Wow, this is someone who really wants to be with me!"

Unfortunately, their attitudes ultimately always seemed to be based on unrealistic perceptions and expectations. Now, when someone comes on too strong, it's an automatic red flag and I tend to run the other way.


Teditis's photo
Thu 09/02/10 08:40 AM
I done it and had it done to me... live and learn. I've moved too fast and moved too slow.
Communication is important and realizing that we humans are prone to rushing into things that we find facinating... don't panic, just talk it out.

GreenEyes48's photo
Thu 09/02/10 09:15 AM
Great posts...Thanks! It's easy to get carried away when we find someone who seems like a "perfect match" for us...But how does this person really feel about us? Is it a mutual attraction or a lopsided attraction? There are so many signs to watch for and factors to consider...Some people feel entitled to have what they want and get upset when they run into someone who refuses to go along...I don't want to have to rope and tie and pressure someone to like me. YUK! But "being pushy" doesn't seem to bother some people....They want to "win" and they will go to any lengths to get what they want in life...I ended up marrying a man like this earlier in life. He was a master manipulator and "charmer" when he was bent on getting what he wanted. Saying "no" to him just put him in "high gear." The marriage was a big mistake and didn't even last a year.

venusenvy's photo
Thu 09/02/10 09:54 AM
Good questions G'friend as long as your asking them of yourself you will always be alright! flowerforyou

9erguy's photo
Thu 09/02/10 09:59 AM
I can tell within five minutes whether or not I like a girl. "I like you" is different than "i want to be with you" which is very different than "you're the one"


GreenEyes48's photo
Sat 09/04/10 08:10 AM
I went with a man who wanted to be more of a "free spirit." He came from a Conservative background and wanted to break out of the "mold." He was attracted to me because I seemed to have "things" that he wanted for himself...I guess he hoped that my "free spirit ways" and youthfulness would rub off on him...He came on strong with me and wouldn't go away. He used every manipulation tactic he could think of to "win" me over and tried to show me that he was capable of being a "free spirit" too....In the end I "caved-in" and married him. But it wasn't long before he tried to impose his Conservative ways on me. He shut-down and didn't want to talk or do much anymore...We were married less than a year. ...I think that we are drawn to people who have traits that we would like to develop in ourselves at times. And we think that having them around will somehow "change us" or "fix us" etc.... But this doesn't always happen. How do you feel about it?

no photo
Sat 09/04/10 10:40 AM
Ugh! If I wanted a needy guy, I'd get a puppy instead.

I can't stand that emotional suffocation. That's one step removed from being a control freak.

no photo
Sat 09/04/10 10:42 AM
Edited by Kings_Knight on Sat 09/04/10 10:44 AM
It usually takes less than five minutes of talking with the 'bottomless pits of emotional need' to sort 'em out and know where they're coming from and that - IF y' make the mistake of hookin' up with 'em - your life will be a living hell in which you're constantly reminded you're not meeting THEIR needs 'n wants 'n desires 'n hopes 'n dreams ... Nope, best response after that part's figured out is 'Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish' ...

The 'pushy' ones are even QUICKER to figure out and drop ...

ProPhotographer's photo
Sat 09/04/10 11:41 AM
"Wise men say...only fools rush in".

If you don't have a sense of who they really are and what the date would be like then it might be too early to make a date with them.

Even after dating exclusively for a period of time and you still don't have a sense of who they really are and what living together would be like then it might be too early to make that commitment.

I'm not saying that I've always got one foot out the door but I don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.