Please take this question as sincere and meant in all honesty.

What age to you see your self in your "mind's eye". I am a 63 year old widower and see myself as about 40.

Let me give you a little background - I marred my late wife when I was 35 and she was 24. We were married for 28 years and I always saw her as a young girl and myself a a young man. We were VERY close and I never saw her as getting old, but as my young bride I marred many years ago. She died last January and I am alone except for my two dog-daughters for the first time in my life (I was married before when I was 20 and only was single on year before I remarried 29 years ago).

Here is my dilemma - As I see myself as about 40, the women that are my age seem to be to be about my parents age - not the age I saw my wife as. I know this seems shallow, but please do not beat me up about this as I am trying to be as up front and honest as I know how to be.

My question to you is, "What age do you see yourself in your "mind's eye" and if it is much younger that you are, how do you look at potential life mates that are near your calender age and find them physically attractive? This is a serious question and I hope you do not find it vain or immature.

George

Quit looking/thinking about "potential life mates". Go out & learn what life is like, ALONE. You remind me of me. Never going to find another like you had. So, go see what ladies are like now & if you REALLY want another "life mate". MY OPINION; way to soon to be looking for that.

Thanks, that is kind of what I have been thinking - ie too soon even though it has been a year. BUT I married the first girl I ever dated so I am kind of concerned about going out and not getting into a seroius relationship.

Single scares the bejesus out of me..............

I feel, act and look younger than my 50 years...
age is not a factor for me in dating, I can go younger or older.
generally I go 5-10 years younger because I've found men my age can't keep up with me..
I like to hike, stroll the beach for hours, stay up late..stay active and most, not all men my age, like I said, can't keep up, they have big fat beer bellies and wanna sit around with the remote in their hand..not interested!

they have big fat beer bellies ...I DO NOT, never been a big beer drinker. Besides, at least it is paid for.

I feel about 40. Have been told I look 50...but some days say I'm really my own age.

Give yourself a chance to see what is out there. You came to the right place to meet and make new friends...just PLEASE don't look at everyone and compare them to your wife..it WON"T work out for you.

Wishing you all the best

vivian2981, I undertand and am not looking for a duplicate wife. I am jsut looking for someone and do not want to "settle" and I do not want them to do so either.

BTW, I looked at your pictures - when was the "snow bunny" picture taken? WOW.

George

You liked that one huh? I need to update them..they are all about a year old. I was just having some fun with that one.

Great topic! Thanks for starting this thread. Thanks for sharing your honest feelings...I feel a lot like you do. My husband and I were both "youngish" in many respects. We were "go-getters" and we didn't sit around and complain about "getting old."...Sadly my husband passed away earlier this year and I find myself alone again. I'm not ready to officially start dating yet. But I have thought about where I might "fit in" and if I'll ever meet someone like my husband...I don't want to resort to dating men who are much younger than me. I'd like to meet a man my age someday who is still "open" to life and having fun and doing new things etc.

I cant say I feel any particular age...I feel settled, confident and comfortable in my skin...the outside is showing signs of wear and tear..but oh well..comes with the territory I guess...

I've known young folks with old souls, as well as "senior citizens" that refuse to BE old.

It's all relative to how you view the world, I guess...

As for this 52 year old, I'm still

My mind is quite young but my body has seen better days.

..when i look at my "self image" i tend to concentrate on my moral values rather than age,maybe that's me and what i find to be "most" important,as far as age no more than just a state of mind that varies from time to time.

She is VERY GOOD with Photo shop, bet she looked like that at an earlier time.

I hate the word Age and old.
It doesn't matter at all ,if you are healthy and active who cares?
But by reading your post I can tell you are not ready yet for another woman.Maybe a woman friend but that its. I know because I am a widow myself and you don't get over that in a year. Its not likely anyway.
I honestly don't thimk your problem is that you don't find older women attractive , you just need more time to heal.
Good luck,wishing you all the best

I have been looking at and talking to friends that are my age that have lost spouses and have since remarried. I have noticed most of them found classmates or family friends that they have know for years. I think they look at each other and see them when they were much younger.

Could be wrong and I hope I am as I married the first girl I dated and then after 14 years she had "find herself" and divorced me (she remarried 1 week after our divorce to a fellow that had been divorced 1 day - seems a quick romance to me - she died 4 months to the day after my wife died). I know leave it alone and go one - I really have even though you might not think so - after a VERY bloody divorce I had no intension to every get back with her.

I married my last wife after dating her for 3 months - it lasted 28 very good years so I must have either been smart or very luck - or both. I choose to think both.

So, no one to date or look and and see them as they were when we were in school, etc. Well, I will just have to man up and look at new acquaintances when I start to really get lonely.

George

You were very lucky to have had such a good marriage. Several people on here have had that also, and lost their spouse. I believe each one handles it differently. I, myself never lost one like that. So I can only speak for us that are divorced. You, not us, will know when you are ready to move forward. I think you are getting there. At least you are putting out feelers to find a new companion. That's a start.
Wishing you all the best.

I've never been good at judging age - everyone between 20 & 50 all looked the same to me. Now I notice that is shifting to more of a 35-65ish "gray area."

A few weeks ago I was sitting in a meeting with a bunch of people trying to figure out how old they were. About the time I thought "they are on the upper end of the scale" I realized that they were peers (or close to it.) Wow...the reality of reality is brutal!