This is for the atheist and agnostic section, since ya'll tend to be more skeptical than most people.

Last night I was taking a parkour class at a gym that caters to aerials skills and the like. I fell and twisted my ankle worse than I ever have in the past.

After class I was surrounded by people who were concerned with my well being, who had gone to get me ice packs, who were offering advice, and generally looking for ways to help me. (Since I biked to class, I was potentially going to have to call a taxi.)

One of them said "arnica can help with sprains. Would you like me to go get you some?"

I figured: willow bark extract (aspirin) can reduce pain, and certain oils and herbal extracts can help encourage vasodilation or vasoconstriction; so sure, why not? I don't know arnica, but I'll spread some kind of herbal extract ointment on my newly bruising ankle if it might help.

She came back not with an herbal salve, but with a bottle of homeopathic ********. When someone is doing something nice for me, I hesitate to be disagreeable. So I opted to eat the useless sugar pills and move on to further discussions of how I can handle my severely messed up ankle and my lack of transportation.

She gave me the sugar pills in a tiny plastic cup, and said to put them directly under my tongue. Instead, I put them in my palm first, then under my tongue. Thats when it started to get weird. Really, really weird.

I figured in a group of 8 people, there might be one or two who were full blown homeopath wingnuts; not all eight of them. Immediately after I touched the stupid ****ing sugar pills, I was caught in the middle of a very serious conversation about the absolute necessity to not touch homeopathic pills before you put them under your tongue - a conversation which involved pretty much the whole group.

I was surrounded by people who not only believe in homeopathy, but who also believe that its perfectly okay for your tongue to touch the pills, but not your fingers. They discussed whether it was because your fingers have bacteria (your mouth doesn't?) or because your fingers are just 'energetically different'. A minority disputed whether or not the 'no touching' rule was all that important, but no one disputed whether homeopathy was valid or completely *** backward stupid ******** to begin with.

It was rather scary, and creepy, in a twilight zone kind of way. Does this reflect that state of science literacy and general credulity in this country?

It's your fault, for taking a parkour class to improve your aerials.

Those should be done by an electrical and/or communications engineer.

And the parkour -- ask Simpkins the next time to park your Bentley.

Of course, your only sin could have been that you did not realize that your socks were out of kilter with those of others in the class, and the feng shui disagreement made the negative energy (-e= m * c * -c) made you sprain your uncle. If it was indeed your ankle, because it could have been your marital warts that you keep in a jar by the door. (who is it for?)

Never trust a homeopath other than for being incredibly funny. There lies their painkilling effect. You listen to the mental and logical miasma ooze from their minds, and by your marvelling at that total nonsense, you forget about your pain.

You are listening to homeopaths. Do it their way. Take their advice in minimum doses, which other types of healthcare practitioners would consider way below therapeutic doses. If you take more than five minutes of homeopathic advice a month, you will go crazy, poisoned, full of mental warts on your soul, for the rest of your life.

Unless of course you apply the east-Gobi salamander technique, which incorporates a certain way of looking and breathing, or the Peruvian chipmunk vomit extract, or the British Accent of Anke Zimmermann.