It's 2:45 p.m.. 15 minutes before school is out. The longest 15 minutes of my life. Sitting in the back of the class I think about how this year was suppose to be better, but it's the same as 7th grade, 6th, and so on.

Finally, the bell rings and I make my way with the heard. Loading onto the bus I look for a vacant seat. I find one and sit down putting my back-pack next to me, to discourage others from sitting next to me. It's a friday, so it is louder than usual as we make our way to the bus lot. I put my headphones on to block out the noise and teasing voices. This only adds to my discomfort. Not being able to hear the jolting voices, they give in to harsher methods. Spit wads and paper balls were nothing new in my world, the pop can was always a special touch, that's when I knew my patience had paid off.

Unloading, the bus lot is packed with people. I make my way to my bus home and find my seat. I set my back-pack next to me to save the seat for my best and only friend.

He arrives and sits down next to me as I place my bag on the ground.
"How was your day today? Another great friday?" he asks sarcasticly.
"Oh yes, another great day to be alive" I answered with the same sarcastic tone.
We put on our headphones and continued on our usual trip home. The longest ride of my life.
We reached my road and my friend asked "So are you coming over when you're parents get home?"
"No, not today" I replied.
"What is so special about today?"
"I'm going to be somewhere else when they get home today."
The bus came to a stop infront of my house and before letting me out of the seat he asked "where are you going today?"
Making my way past him I replied "a better place" and continued to make my way off the bus.

Getting home I begin my arrangments. This is not the first time I've gone through this process. I get dressed up in my "sunday best". I retrieve the note I've hand written to my parents letting them know why I am gone. I go get my supplies out of the top of my parents closet.

Checking to make sure everything is right and I haven't left any loose ends, I make my way back to my room. I load a single bullet in the .357 magnum. In this moment with the gun against my head and finger on the trigger, I replay my life and my reasons for ending it.
It was the longest 5 minutes of my life.

In that moment as I slowly squeeze on the trigger, I hear the front door open. "Where are you at f***er?" my brother yells.

This scares me so badly I almost pull the trigger when I jump. He has gotten home from wrestling practice early today. I quickly hide the gun and my nerves and walk out of my room.

"Let me show you this move I learned today!" He says as he grabs my arm and attempts to put me in a head-lock.

I jerk away and run out the door and into the woods crying hysterically. "What's wrong with you man?" he yells out the door.

I could never tell him what really happened that day, he still doesn't know he saved my life.