Community > Parenting Talk

Topic: oh crap.
Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Sun 09/04/11 10:43 PM
sure words can hurt others, but what's so wrong about using it in a very simple statement? it's not hurting anyone. and entertainment isn't the purpose. she's just being informative. you can't censor another human being for the rest of his or her life. might as well teach them how to use it in ways that won't hurt others. or just not teach them to use it at all,, if its pointless and possibly counterproductive,,, Don't you think being that restrictive in itself could be counterproductive? If you put too many rules and regulations on a kid growing up, you're asking for rebellion IMO.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 09/04/11 11:30 PM
sure words can hurt others, but what's so wrong about using it in a very simple statement? it's not hurting anyone. and entertainment isn't the purpose. she's just being informative. you can't censor another human being for the rest of his or her life. might as well teach them how to use it in ways that won't hurt others. or just not teach them to use it at all,, if its pointless and possibly counterproductive,,, Don't you think being that restrictive in itself could be counterproductive? If you put too many rules and regulations on a kid growing up, you're asking for rebellion IMO. no, I dont consider expecting them to not use language that I dont even use to be 'too restrictive'

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Sun 09/04/11 11:35 PM
sure words can hurt others, but what's so wrong about using it in a very simple statement? it's not hurting anyone. and entertainment isn't the purpose. she's just being informative. you can't censor another human being for the rest of his or her life. might as well teach them how to use it in ways that won't hurt others. or just not teach them to use it at all,, if its pointless and possibly counterproductive,,, Don't you think being that restrictive in itself could be counterproductive? If you put too many rules and regulations on a kid growing up, you're asking for rebellion IMO. no, I dont consider expecting them to not use language that I dont even use to be 'too restrictive' Just don't be surprised if they rebel later. Don't say I didn't warn you.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 09/04/11 11:41 PM
sure words can hurt others, but what's so wrong about using it in a very simple statement? it's not hurting anyone. and entertainment isn't the purpose. she's just being informative. you can't censor another human being for the rest of his or her life. might as well teach them how to use it in ways that won't hurt others. or just not teach them to use it at all,, if its pointless and possibly counterproductive,,, Don't you think being that restrictive in itself could be counterproductive? If you put too many rules and regulations on a kid growing up, you're asking for rebellion IMO. no, I dont consider expecting them to not use language that I dont even use to be 'too restrictive' Just don't be surprised if they rebel later. Don't say I didn't warn you. well, one down, and one to go,, they are pretty smart, IM sure IF they rebel it wont be because of a handful of off lmit words in our home,,,,their vocabulary is too extensive to really take that so seriously

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Mon 09/05/11 12:45 AM
If that's what you think so be it, but still don't agree with it.

Ladylid2012 Joined Sun 07/05/09 Posts: 42269	Mon 09/05/11 02:32 AM
Instead of quoting i'm just responding in general. I never 'taught' my boys to swear, nor did i 'support ' it. Over time they just dropped an occasional word and I choose not to make a big deal about it. We all choose our battles. I figure I had 3 boys that were home at night, still took the garbage out and kissed me on the cheek as they came and went. I'm grateful they turned out so well. The power of words can not be disputed. If I'm teaching my children to use their words in a hateful, judgmental and racist way then yes, this is not good. Lets not forget were only referring to the term the op used. Also, the intent behind the words figures in, for me. I have a friend who punishes her kids when they swear, even something like 'what the hell is that' will get them in trouble. Yet, they are allowed to watch violent movies. I find violence and it's affects on humans in general to be much more offensive than the word S hit. So, I guess we all get to pick and choose what is good and not so good for our own children.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Mon 09/05/11 08:33 AM
would you mind telling me the difference between someone who curses and someone who doesn't? People who don't curse tend to have a larger vocabulary and find better words to express their feelings. I curse at times. I find that cursing tends to be more for shock value than actually expressing my feelings accurately. There is a time and place for everything.

Simonedemidova Joined Mon 11/15/10 Posts: 8952	Mon 09/05/11 09:09 AM
would you get mad if i taught your kid to say i need to go take a crap instead of saying i need to go to the bathroom? yes, we dont use that language in our family, especially around elders,,, i agree, i tell the kids i have to use the ladies room, or the restroom. Oh crap is a term i use when i mess something up, they hear me say , "oh Crap" when i forget to bring our rental movies in the car for return, stuff like that. They do say fart, which i dont care for either, but i dont relaly mind it, they are just kids being silly. Its kind of embarrassing though when your at target and your four year old yells, I just farted...hahaha. Im like, OH crap, you dont have to yell it..

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 09/05/11 09:26 AM
If that's what you think so be it, but still don't agree with it. thats fine too, if and when you become a parent, you will have the freedom I do to decide how to raise your kids,

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 09/05/11 09:28 AM
Instead of quoting i'm just responding in general. I never 'taught' my boys to swear, nor did i 'support ' it. Over time they just dropped an occasional word and I choose not to make a big deal about it. We all choose our battles. I figure I had 3 boys that were home at night, still took the garbage out and kissed me on the cheek as they came and went. I'm grateful they turned out so well. The power of words can not be disputed. If I'm teaching my children to use their words in a hateful, judgmental and racist way then yes, this is not good. Lets not forget were only referring to the term the op used. Also, the intent behind the words figures in, for me. I have a friend who punishes her kids when they swear, even something like 'what the hell is that' will get them in trouble. Yet, they are allowed to watch violent movies. I find violence and it's affects on humans in general to be much more offensive than the word S hit. So, I guess we all get to pick and choose what is good and not so good for our own children. Exactly. I wouldnt want anyone TEACHING my kids do speak in such a way. Accidental 'slips' are just that and still need a reminder that its not acceptable or polite(at least, in our family). Intentional use needs disciplinary consequence(in our house).

lulu24 Joined Sun 02/11/07 Posts: 6033	Mon 09/05/11 09:30 AM
my children are allowed to curse all that they want. in their bedroom, alone, with the door closed.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 09/05/11 09:30 AM
would you mind telling me the difference between someone who curses and someone who doesn't? People who don't curse tend to have a larger vocabulary and find better words to express their feelings. I curse at times. I find that cursing tends to be more for shock value than actually expressing my feelings accurately. There is a time and place for everything. Nothing is absolute Ruth, but this is exactly what I and the generations before me were taught and it made sense to us. None of us had anything close to low IQs and this simple explanation was enough to keep us from feeling like the rules were too restrictive. Its just not something that really sounded 'good' to us because our own family didnt do it, so we didnt really find it that important to do it either. We used other words to express the same feelings and needs just fine.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 09/05/11 09:32 AM
would you get mad if i taught your kid to say i need to go take a crap instead of saying i need to go to the bathroom? yes, we dont use that language in our family, especially around elders,,, i agree, i tell the kids i have to use the ladies room, or the restroom. Oh crap is a term i use when i mess something up, they hear me say , "oh Crap" when i forget to bring our rental movies in the car for return, stuff like that. They do say fart, which i dont care for either, but i dont relaly mind it, they are just kids being silly. Its kind of embarrassing though when your at target and your four year old yells, I just farted...hahaha. Im like, OH crap, you dont have to yell it. there is that too. some things are private and we were also raised with that value. There is no need to announce what we need to do in the bathroom, just explaining that we are going is more than enough. I say oh crap sometimes too,,,lol,, but I always follow by saying excuse me and reminding the kids that I made a mistake and shouldnt be saying that.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Mon 09/05/11 09:51 AM
would you mind telling me the difference between someone who curses and someone who doesn't? People who don't curse tend to have a larger vocabulary and find better words to express their feelings. I curse at times. I find that cursing tends to be more for shock value than actually expressing my feelings accurately. There is a time and place for everything. Nothing is absolute Ruth, but this is exactly what I and the generations before me were taught and it made sense to us. None of us had anything close to low IQs and this simple explanation was enough to keep us from feeling like the rules were too restrictive. Its just not something that really sounded 'good' to us because our own family didnt do it, so we didnt really find it that important to do it either. We used other words to express the same feelings and needs just fine.

Simonedemidova Joined Mon 11/15/10 Posts: 8952	Mon 09/05/11 09:53 AM
would you get mad if i taught your kid to say i need to go take a crap instead of saying i need to go to the bathroom? yes, we dont use that language in our family, especially around elders,,, i agree, i tell the kids i have to use the ladies room, or the restroom. Oh crap is a term i use when i mess something up, they hear me say , "oh Crap" when i forget to bring our rental movies in the car for return, stuff like that. They do say fart, which i dont care for either, but i dont relaly mind it, they are just kids being silly. Its kind of embarrassing though when your at target and your four year old yells, I just farted...hahaha. Im like, OH crap, you dont have to yell it. there is that too. some things are private and we were also raised with that value. There is no need to announce what we need to do in the bathroom, just explaining that we are going is more than enough. I say oh crap sometimes too,,,lol,, but I always follow by saying excuse me and reminding the kids that I made a mistake and shouldnt be saying that. yeah, i apologize to my kids if i raise my voice at them. But i never use curse words...i dont care for shut up, fart, crap, butthole..inappropriate talk is unbecoming. That is what i tell my kids. They should be embarrassed to speak in such manners.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 09/05/11 09:54 AM
my children are allowed to curse all that they want. in their bedroom, alone, with the door closed. lol, I know what you mean. To this day, we consider it part of showing our elders respect(thats me and FOUR BROTHERS) to not use curse words in their presence my brothers who smoke or drink, still never do it around our mom,,,its just a type of reverence that we grew up with, accept, and feel she deserves and has earned,,, now whether they do those things with peers,,,is a different story,,lol

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Mon 09/05/11 09:54 AM
If when my kids were little and if anyone had taught them to say it that way I assure you they would have heard from me real quick. Maybe I'm old school but I still believe in being respectful how they talk in front of others.. well i taught my niece how to say it. i think it's hilarious. i asked her if she said that to her teacher when she was at school. she said no because it was too embarrassing. so the kid only says it at home. I'm assuming your niece's parents were not happy you did this and that is why you are asking. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what the rest of us think. It is the parents' decision how to raise their children and what kind of language is allowed in the household. You need to respect their decision. When you have children of your own you can teach them all the bad language you want.

bhernandez Joined Sun 03/21/10 Posts: 14901	Mon 09/05/11 09:57 AM
People who don't curse tend to have a larger vocabulary and find better words to express their feelings. I curse at times. I find that cursing tends to be more for shock value than actually expressing my feelings accurately. There is a time and place for everything. i strongly disagree. i can't help but feel that those who are against cursing think it's a tool for stupid people. some of the smartest people i know curse like crazy. of course, our definitions of stupid and smart people probably differ.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 09/05/11 10:01 AM
SOMETIMES smart people curse (probably not 'like crazy' though) USUALLY smart people have a vocabulary of too many words to find the desire or need to use the handful of 'funny' or shocking or socially unacceptable ones,,,,

bhernandez Joined Sun 03/21/10 Posts: 14901	Mon 09/05/11 10:02 AM
I'm assuming your niece's parents were not happy you did this and that is why you are asking. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what the rest of us think. It is the parents' decision how to raise their children and what kind of language is allowed in the household. You need to respect their decision. When you have children of your own you can teach them all the bad language you want. my sister didn't like it, but the kid only does it at my house. and she doesn't hate me for it. so meh. lkxchgaosfudhj. i have a problem with all parents, but that's another story. i will never be responsible for another human being.