Topic: advice of crazy animals
wildmanofohio's photo
Tue 11/08/11 10:59 AM
Here is a guide of for all you people who want to know animals.
1.BATS- THEY ARE WINGED BEAST FROM HELL YOU TRY HAVING ONE LAND ON YOU AND YOUR FRIEND TRYS TO SHOOT IT WITH A STUN GUN AND MISSES THE BAT AND NAILS YOU WHERE IT COUNTS.TO BEAT BATS YOU NEED OZZIE OSBURNE OR HOLY WATER NOT A DUMB REDNECK WITH A HOCKEY STICK
2.JELLYFISH- THEY ARE ALSO PURE EVIL AND WHY IS THAT LETS SAY SOMEONE IS FISHING OUT IN THE OCEAN AND IS WAIST DEEP AND WELL A JELLYSTING STINGS HIM WELL LETS SAY GRAPEFRUIT ARE NOT THAT BIG IN FLORIDA I WAS I MEAN HE WAS SWELLED UP FOR A WEEK.
3.SQURRIELS- YES ALL OF YOU THINK LOOK ITS A SQURRIEL THEY ARE SO CUTE AND LOVING HELL NO. EVER PLAY THE GAME NUTS BE GONE THATS WHERE YOU STUFF AS MANY SQURRIELS DOWN YOUR PANTS I WON THE BET BY STICKING 15 SQURRIELS DOWN MY PANTS THE ONLY PROBLEM ONE TRIED TO BITE A WALNUT AND IT DIDNT FALL FROM A TREE.
4.SKUNKS- OK LOOK BEFORE YOU PICK UP OK IT WAS DARK AND I THOUGHT THE SKUNK WAS MY FRIENDS CAT BUT IT WAS A BABY SKUNK AND WELL A SPRAY FROM ITS BUTT MADE ME TAKE A MIDNITE TOMATO BATH IN MY FRIENDS BACK YARD
5.COWS AKA BULL- OK I WAS COWTIPPING ONCE AND I TRIED TO TIP A COW BUT I MEAN BUTT I PUSHED INTO A BULL AND HE DIDNT LIKE BEING WOKE UP SO HE CHASES ME AND WELL MEAN HORNS MEAN MY *** ITS A BIRD ITS A PLANE ITS SUPER ROB THAT BULL SENT HE FLYING AND WELL I LAND *** FIRST INTO CATCUS LOL.
6.GOATS- OK MY BUDDYS PLAYED A PRANK ON ME AND WELL THEY STRIPPED ME NAKED COVERED ME IN WHIPPED CREAM AND WELL AS I WAS OUT THERE PASSED OUT I WAS HAVING A GREAT DREAM AND WAKE TO A BIT AND I WAKE UP AND I SEE ALL AROUND ME GOATS ABOUT 25 AND I PUSH THE LEADER AND THE OTHERS DIDNT LIKE THAT AT ALL AND STARTED TO CHASE ME AND WELL HAVE YOU EVER SAW INDIANA JONES WHERE THE NAKED INDIANS CHASE HIM TO THE PLANE WELL THATS ME ONLY GOATS ARE CHASING ME AND I WAS TRYING TO CATCH A TRUCK. I ENDED UP HITCH HIKING BACK WEARING ONLY A EMPTY BEER BOX
7.BABOON- THEM THINGS ARE FUGLY AND NEVER GET CHASED BY A MEAN FEMALE ONE THEY ARE SCARY LIKE A HUMAN WOMAN ON THE WORST PMS TRIP EVER. LIKE I SAID THE LAST TIME A SHORT HAIRY THING WITH A HUGE *** WAS AT MY LAST FAMILY REUNION.
8.CHICKENS-AGAIN MY FRIENDS THOUGHT IT BE FUNNY TO STRIP ME NAKED COVER ME IN BIRD SEED AND TOSS ME INTO A CHICKEN BARN HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CHASED BY 500 CHICKENS 1000 BEADY EYES OF DEATH AND BEAKS PECKING YOU AND PECKING YOU AND WELL MY BARE *** AND OTHER PARTS WERE SORE FOR WEEKS.
9.BOAR- ITS NOT MISSY PIGGY OR PORKY PIG BUT ONE TIME HUNTING BOAR MY BUDDYS SWITCHED MY SHELLS WITH BLANKS AND WELL WHEN I FIRED I WAS SURPISED AND SO WAS THE BOAR AND WELL THAT PIG WAS MAD AND CHASED ME A HALF A MILE INTIL I CLIMBED A TREE AND WAS STUCK THERE FOR 6 HOURS WAITING FOR MY FRIENDS TO HELP ME