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| Topic: How do you know? | |
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I met and fell for this absolutely great guy, or so I thought at the time. To make a short story even shorter, he told me he loved me everyday, said that I brightened up his life etc. and I believed him.
Then he disappeared from my life. He's not dead (God, I hope not), but he's no longer here either and I can't help but question if he was ever the least bit sincere. So my question to you fellow minglers, is this: How do you know if someone really loves you? |
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You can be in love like crazy.
But until you meet, and see the whites of their eyes, it is only what you each have said, or thought, it is. |
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How do you know if someone really loves you? Their actions. And abandonment isn't a plausible action in this scenario. |
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So it's not about what they say, but what they do.
But what do they have to do to prove love? Even "players" buy flowers. |
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Eek! At 19 you're probably naive. I know I was at that age.
Live and learn... You'll know. |
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Edited by
42BlackBBW
on
Thu 11/17/11 12:04 PM
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When I first started online dating, I fell (hard) for guys that I never met on two separate occasions.
I didn't (and still don’t) consider myself to be gullible and I have always been protective of my heart but some people have it down to an art form. They know exactly what to say to and say it in a way that doesn’t seem like a line.. maybe it isn’t. Maybe they fall in love as well but due to whatever reason or circumstance, (for them), it can never be more than what it is..a cyber romance. IMO, it’s more than actions because their online actions seem genuine and sincere. They (the men) seem genuine and sincere. It’s when you start planning to move beyond cyberland that it seems to unravel and fall apart at the seams. |
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I met and fell for this absolutely great guy, or so I thought at the time. To make a short story even shorter, he told me he loved me everyday, said that I brightened up his life etc. and I believed him. Then he disappeared from my life. He's not dead (God, I hope not), but he's no longer here either and I can't help but question if he was ever the least bit sincere. So my question to you fellow minglers, is this: How do you know if someone really loves you? I gave up trying to figure that out. Words certainly don't prove anything. As for actions, that usually just means they want something. |
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I gave up trying to figure that out. Words certainly don't prove anything. As for actions, that usually just means they want something. Yes, but you don't learn that in the beginning. Over time, you see a pattern emerge and you adapt. |
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Eek! At 19 you're probably naive. I know I was at that age. Live and learn... You'll know. Age really makes that much difference? |
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When I first started online dating, I fell (hard) for guys that I never met on two separate occasions. I didn't (and still don’t) consider myself to be gullible and I have always been protective of my heart but some people have it down to an art form. They know exactly what to say to and say it in a way that doesn’t seem like a line.. maybe it isn’t. Maybe they fall in love as well but due to whatever reason or circumstance, (for them), it can never be more than what it is..a cyber romance. IMO, it’s more than actions because their online actions seem genuine and sincere. They (the men) seem genuine and sincere. It’s when you start planning to move beyond cyberland that it seems to unravel and fall apart at the seams. I get you. I 'm a word person and most of the time I have to ask myself if I'm falling for the words on the page (screen?) or the guy writing them. Funnily enough, it's not any easier in real life either. |
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I met and fell for this absolutely great guy, or so I thought at the time. To make a short story even shorter, he told me he loved me everyday, said that I brightened up his life etc. and I believed him. Then he disappeared from my life. He's not dead (God, I hope not), but he's no longer here either and I can't help but question if he was ever the least bit sincere. So my question to you fellow minglers, is this: How do you know if someone really loves you? I gave up trying to figure that out. Words certainly don't prove anything. As for actions, that usually just means they want something. I have to agree with you. And the whole "it just feels right" thing, doesn't help at all. |
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I met and fell for this absolutely great guy, or so I thought at the time. To make a short story even shorter, he told me he loved me everyday, said that I brightened up his life etc. and I believed him. Then he disappeared from my life. He's not dead (God, I hope not), but he's no longer here either and I can't help but question if he was ever the least bit sincere. So my question to you fellow minglers, is this: How do you know if someone really loves you? I gave up trying to figure that out. Words certainly don't prove anything. As for actions, that usually just means they want something. I have to agree with you. And the whole "it just feels right" thing, doesn't help at all. Yeah, because sometimes you sort of make it "feel right" in your own head, even when it isn't. That's how I ended up married. |
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Eek! At 19 you're probably naive. I know I was at that age. Live and learn... You'll know. Age really makes that much difference? I don't think it is an age thing..as you (and Lex) said earlier, your brain adds the nuances that makie it more than what it is. |
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One thing I've learned is that there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships...especially these days. People are too concerned about themselves in the long run, and don't want to put forth the effort it takes to establish and maintain something as beautiful as love.
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So I guess what you're saying is that it's a case of your head telling your heart what to feel.
If you try hard enough, you can convince your heart that it feels what it doesn't. But what if you don't have to try? What if you just fall for him? What I'm trying to figure out here, is how do you know if he's just trying to get into your panties, or if he's the one you'll still be waking up next to, 20 years from now? |
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One thing I've learned is that there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships...especially these days. People are too concerned about themselves in the long run, and don't want to put forth the effort it takes to establish and maintain something as beautiful as love. In that case, I'm adopting my first cat tomorrow. If it no longer exists, I'm not going to waste anymore time kissing frogs. |
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One thing I've learned is that there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships...especially these days. People are too concerned about themselves in the long run, and don't want to put forth the effort it takes to establish and maintain something as beautiful as love. IMO, In the dating stages you should be a bit guarded. I don’t think it’s healthy (emotionally) to leave yourself to vulnerable to every Tom, Dick or Harriet that comes along, so it is a bit me, me and more me. I don't believe in love at first site, so for me "something as beautiful as love" comes along much later. |
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So I guess what you're saying is that it's a case of your head telling your heart what to feel. If you try hard enough, you can convince your heart that it feels what it doesn't. But what if you don't have to try? What if you just fall for him? What I'm trying to figure out here, is how do you know if he's just trying to get into your panties, or if he's the one you'll still be waking up next to, 20 years from now? There’s no formula. No equation that you can apply and there's always going to someone that wants to get into your pants..hopefully you'll get into his a well - if that's what you want. |
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Eek! At 19 you're probably naive. I know I was at that age. Live and learn... You'll know. Age really makes that much difference? I don't think it is an age thing..as you (and Lex) said earlier, your brain adds the nuances that makie it more than what it is. I think that was with regard to life experience rather than the number on your age. I just think you can't always judge someone's life experience on their chronological age |
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One thing I've learned is that there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships...especially these days. People are too concerned about themselves in the long run, and don't want to put forth the effort it takes to establish and maintain something as beautiful as love. Exactly. It's the difference between "I'm going to do everything I can to make this work" vs. "Hmmmm, let's see what happens, there's always a back door." |
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