Topic: Back in the dating game after 6years in a relationship
ladyblue333's photo
Tue 01/24/12 12:03 PM
I was in a relationship for 6 years and had a daughter, we broke up a year ago, since then ive been getting over it and moving on i didnt want to just jump into another relationship its not fair to the other person with all your feelings still on your ex. Now i just find it a little overwelming with trying to get to know people and getting back out there, Some guys see that i have a daughter and atomaticly think oh oh baggage and dont want to give us single mothers a chance. I guess im just venting a bit and find it hard meeting people since im not into the club and bar sceene anymore. Anyone have a similar story, advice, input is welcome . I know im not the only single mom out there with this problem hopefully

soufiehere's photo
Tue 01/24/12 12:14 PM
The Mingle2 forums are a great way
to get your dating feet wet.
You can observe, join in or ignore
at your whimsy.
You can interact with the other
species.
Some will be worth it.
Friends can be made and enjoyed.
Sometimes, mates are found
amongst friends.

whobedat's photo
Tue 01/24/12 12:26 PM
good concept, work more on yourself add value to your life may be a professional certificate or learn askilled work just to enhance yourself. Forget about gettin hooked for now I bet u d right guy who will appreciate u for who u are would definitely come

no photo
Tue 01/24/12 12:28 PM
Yeah...starting again following the end of a long term relationship is never easy and rejection is rejection regardless of whether or not you have children..you just have to dust yourself off and start all over again..

The only other thing I would say is to trust your instincts...if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, you’ve got yourself a duck!

ladyblue333's photo
Tue 01/24/12 01:05 PM
Thanx and i have been working on myself latley gettin my confidence back, but for the past 3 years ive given my all to my daughter and forgetting about myself and ive been lonely in the process. Time to be there for my daughter and not forget about myself in the process.

Abigael22's photo
Tue 01/24/12 01:53 PM
Dust urself up and try again... Nt all guys are d same..

LoweredExpectations's photo
Tue 01/24/12 02:17 PM
Dear LadyBlue,

Some of the reaction you may be getting is because things really are a bit different when you have a child, and if you haven't worked all that through, it's possible that the men already have.

Men know, for example, that there are scheduling issues. Many women have kids full-time and no family nearby. So there's actually no way to date them. Others have every other weekend free for dating. But a man might have his own kids on those weekends. So the schedules don't match!

Many women say, "We come as a package." which sounds like good-mom material, but always going for dates with a toddler in tow is just weird. Other women hide their love interests so their child doesn't see a history of strange men coming in the door. It's not fun to be hidden by your girlfriend.

Some women with children are SO guilty towards them that their children learn they can screw with Mommy's love life. I dated a woman whose 16 year old boy became jealous that she took a trip with me (when he thought HE'D be going). Well our relationship was doomed from that point. He kept being moody and manipulative and she couldn't bring herself to say, "You, my beloved son, are the short-timer, and if you want to move out two years early, there's the door!"

Men may also need to move to another city to find work, or perhaps retire. But oftentimes, women with children can't move because of custody or school issues.

I mean -- it really does get complicated.

It's not that your child is "baggage". But it really is different when you have kids. I have two at home.

T


ladyblue333's photo
Tue 01/24/12 07:08 PM
yes lowered expectations, i understand were your coming from