... my rating

You lack a photograph and need to completely re-think your text.

I guess you were trying to make up for the lack of pictures, but went way overboard. Maybe you could leave some things to the imagination, when it comes to how you "love" your pets. It's creepy and possibly illegal. The part about the "little feet" is well-done, in that it has a cool, poetic, rhythm, but I think that was lifted from a movie, somewhere. Can't remember the title. You probably know. Also, lose the racial slurs. That kind of stuff isn't as funny as you seem to think.

Good try, but try not to be such a troll, for the sake of the guys who are really looking for nice women, here.

Good luck.