Hi Art

Great to see you.

I would agree with this except for one thing. I have experienced the one, so I can't say it isn't there or that would not be true. How about this for a little twist. Take all you said and make it shared by two making one (a bigger one, more like the size of two sharing)dig it? I totally buy the "want to" part of this BTW. Has got to be about want to.

Nice post, ArtGurl :) It reminds me of times when I've felt pressured into having a crush on male friends, who had a crush on me. If I didn't reciprocate, they're attitude changed. They got bitter. They weren't so nice to be around, anymore. But can I just point out something? I was doing those males a favour by not flirting back at them, because if I had flirted with them, I'd have made them think I wanted to be with them. So I think I did the right thing, by indicating I wasn't interested in a relationship with them. If I don't go by how I feel, then that's no good.

Very uplifting read Artgurl!

I subscribe to a similar philosophy in that I wait to find a love for the man in whole; or spirit within, and not just who or what he has become so far. I have not found ONE, but 4. But what I'm looking for requires that they love me as a whole; or my spirit within, and not just for what they see me as today or think I may be tomorrow.

But while I agree with your concept for the most part, I do believe there are spirits out there similar enough to our own that, only with such a match, can we commit to following our independent journeys TOGETHER. And I do believe that together forever can happen in some cases where people are conscience enough about their own spirit to know when they've encountered a similar spirit who recognizes this also.

Which brings us full circle back to looking for one in many.

Hey beautiful Michael, nice to see you.

I understand what you are saying and that feeling that for me is a sense of communion with someone (a oneness with them) as opposed to a relationship with the one (which is defined by the distance between...or the separateness).

But that sense of oneness is not the same as this idea of the ONE. There can be many people in a lifetime with whom you can have communion. The idea that there is only one right person...one right soul....what if your one right person isn't in a physical body?



Hi Shy Emo Chick. You cannot control nor take responsibility for how others feel. Your only responsibility is how you choose to live. And I understand what you are saying. However, just a question, at what point does flirting lead to the conclusion of relationship?

People flirt all the time. It just feels nice and sometimes people use it to their advantage. I have a favourite restaurant and every one of the waitstaff flirts in some way. I don't mean overt or sexual but in a way that is playful and makes their patrons feel good. Patrons have a lovely dinner and enjoy the banter and they leave bigger tips. At no point is there any confusion that a relationship is to follow.

My dad goes to area dances 3 nights a week. He is a great dancer so the ladies all want to dance with him. He is also a shameless flirt teasing the ladies that they are holding him too close or they were checking out his bum or something. The ladies love it. They feel special, they feel seen and they feel beautiful when they once felt ...like most seniors...unseen and no longer beautiful. He is such a gift to them and never do they feel that the flirty attention means that a relationship is to follow.

I get what you are saying and for a long time I would not flirt with men for the same reasons you stated. But I can flirt and not lead people on. I can be playful and clear that a relationship is not in the cards. But I do not ever flirt with men who I sense would like a relationship when I am not wanting one with them.

And YES! You are the only gauge for what feels good to you and and honouring of yourself and others. Follow your own knowing always!


Hugs to you both

Quick! We're about to lose him to a head-on motorway collision. I did say we should all keep an eye on him. Oh well. Too late now. Oh shiz......................he's gone over the fence! *hears a splatter:

I have always went with how my gut felt when I saw her smile

Or seeking communion rather than relationship .... In which case you feel at one with your partner rather than your partner having to BE the ONE (which feels more like what you are saying)?

You got it sistah!

Lovely to see you

My question is ,how do you not know?

What happens if they stop being the one...we're they the wrong one making you wrong in your conclusion that they were the right one?

Nobody has any guarantees on anything.
But if they stop being the "One' you will know that too right?
They could be the one atm or forever ..who knows.
But if you are feeling it and want only them you will know. How do you not know it?

can't imagine. we trust our gut feelings on many things. over time tho we learn with love to trust our gut feeling but to also take time to make sure that HIS gut feeling about us is the same (if that is important to one)....a pain avoidance if u will. after a certain number of relationships the pain avoidance is stronger than the gut feeling, at least for me

That is my point. If there is the One they can't stop being the One. It doesn't exist. We can have a feeling of oneness or separation but that is not so specific as to be only one possibility out of billions.. That feeling of oneness is different and more realistic and can change as life changes.

Absolutely love your use of the word communion. Yes, it's much better than relationship. Nicely done as usual ArtGurl! Always a pleasure to read you.

As I said before...top of page...still have never learned exactly how I know when I believe I've found a kindred spirit. Would probably find more of them faster if I could pinpoint a certain manner or trait to tip me off.

I agree with you. I cannot feel someone is the one for me unless I am sure they feel the same way about me.
I have been wrong as most of us have, but at the time I felt he was the one.
NOW I have that feeling again...this time I hope I am right .

aww ok...I see what you are saying.

I hope you are too. my reflection on that is that time helps to firm up the answer to whether he is the one or your communion partner (re: artgurl)

I love that. the one to commune with. what a lovely suggestion of intimacy

If she is a Luna and her heart is radiant.
Then I'll know.