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| Topic: Separated got chated on , but still love him | |
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My husband and I are seperated after 4 years of marriage. He cheated on me with his ex girlfriend multiple times and I do not even know her name.
On top of that he walked out on me and for months i kept blaming myself for making him angry , but after a while he admitted that he was in touch with his ex at that time and now they are not talking to each other any more and he is sorry and wants to get back , but when i tried to talk to him he refuses to tell me anything about that relationship of his and says he wants to shut the door. but my problem is I have already done this before but she still kept walking back in our marriage , this time his excuse being that she had a break up and he thought he was helping her in a tough time but then he started sharing about his life too and in between he also admitted to have picked up random girls at bars for dates (did not tell how far these "DATES" went) So finally after so many years i was able to find the courage to tell him that it is not working. My problem is he is my only relationship I ever had and I am having a tough time moving on , am I crazy to still love him. In my head i know this marriage has no future but i just can't stop loving him . I am trying to get my life back on track preparing for GMAT and all but it is so hard. How do i cope up with this..... wy does my heart ache for him so much all the time after what he did. |
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Problem: You are married, he is not.
Stopping loving someone is harder than falling in love with them. If you want a certain life, your choices are limited. If misery, heartache and the status quo work for you, stay with him. If you want love that is reciprocal, move on. Best of luck :-) |
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Sorry your going through heartache
It May sound strange but sometimes we are in love with the idea of a relationship rather than The Actual Reality of it You must tell yourself that in marriage Being Unfaithful is unacceptable And that you deserve 600% Better in life. Look at confident women listen to music that inspires no way should you put up with it Question yourself Do you want to Be respected ? If yes than you need time out from this man and build your life He sounds VERY self centred immature and you need to put your respect first before him and his sob stories he was not committed to you ! I'm Sorry but he did not have the Respect to honour wedding vows than release him as negative energy and ground yourself to attract better I doubt he will change as he sounds like a weak character and you must get strong for yourself , listen to lyrics from ChriStina Aguilera " Fighter " buy a punch bag n dvd get fit ! You are worth total respect ! Start believing it ! How would you advise your Best Friend what would YOU say to her ? U will know the anSa ! You are a worthy of Respect never other that ! |
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Sorry phone jumped should read
You are worthy of Respect Never Forget that ! |
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My guess is you are NOT grieving the loss of the Lousy relationship you had but the IDEALIZED relationship you wanted to have.
It is possible to grieve the loss of that idealized relationship but it requires recognizing you have to adjust how you measure people and align them to your standards. If you are making a Jackass into a Thorough-bred well you don't have much of a chance at happiness but if you move on and find someone who is the type to be a matched team you might have better luck. |
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My husband and I are seperated after 4 years of marriage. He cheated on me with his ex girlfriend multiple times and I do not even know her name. On top of that he walked out on me and for months i kept blaming myself for making him angry , but after a while he admitted that he was in touch with his ex at that time and now they are not talking to each other any more and he is sorry and wants to get back , but when i tried to talk to him he refuses to tell me anything about that relationship of his and says he wants to shut the door. but my problem is I have already done this before but she still kept walking back in our marriage , this time his excuse being that she had a break up and he thought he was helping her in a tough time but then he started sharing about his life too and in between he also admitted to have picked up random girls at bars for dates (did not tell how far these "DATES" went) So finally after so many years i was able to find the courage to tell him that it is not working. My problem is he is my only relationship I ever had and I am having a tough time moving on , am I crazy to still love him. In my head i know this marriage has no future but i just can't stop loving him . I am trying to get my life back on track preparing for GMAT and all but it is so hard. How do i cope up with this..... wy does my heart ache for him so much all the time after what he did. 
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Thank you all for the wonderful replies , I feel so much better.
Some times my mind and my heart pull me in different directions. I guess time is the only healer. I just wish i had a way to skip through this heartache. |
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