AQUARIUS Jan 20-Feb 18
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make mistakes over and over again.
People think you are stupid.

PISCES Feb 19-Mar 20
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have a minor influence over your associates and people resent you for your flaunting it at your peers. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people do horrible things to little animals.

ARIES Mar 21-May 20
You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt.
You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice.
You are not nice.

TAURUS Apr 20-May 20
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination,
and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded.
You are a communist.

GEMINI May 21-June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People love you because you are bi-sexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. this means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest.

CANCER June 21-July 22
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people and their problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you'll never amount to anything. Most welfare recipients are Cancer people.

LEO July 23-Aug 22
You consider yourself to be a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo People are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest critisism. Your arrogence is disgusting. Leo people are known thieves.

VIRGO Aug 23-Sept 22
You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional, and sometimes, you fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.

LIBRA Sept 23-=ct 22
You are artistic and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man, you are more than likely gay. Chances for employment along this line and monetary gains are excellent. All Libras die of venereal disease.

SCORPIO Oct 23-Nov 21
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacles of success because you totally lack ethics. Most Scorpio people are murdered.

SAGITARIUS Nov 22-Dec 21
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. you have a reckless tendency to rely on luck, since you lack talent. The majority of Sagitarians are drunks and dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.

CAPRICORN Dec 22-Jan 19
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. you don't do anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing too long, as they tend to take root and become trees.

tom i am a taurus.i am also a taxi-cab driver. BUT in no WAY am i a communist.

forgot to mention look at the door on my car.

GEMINI May 21-June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People love you because you are bi-sexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. this means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest.
the incest part is wrong!!!!

So Im going to drop outta college now that I have a better chance of being on welfare! (cancer)

GEMINI May 21-June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People love you because you are bi-sexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. this means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest.


Incest is the only part that is wromg...