Topic: Why are they Single?
joshyfox's photo
Fri 09/14/07 07:23 AM
I've been noticing something about JSH lately. I've been seeing women and men express what they want in a partner, see someone on the site who is an exact match for what the other wants and is looking for what the on originally is. So why are they NOT together? Is it distance? Do they know about each other? If they don't know about each other, should I introduce them to each other?

I'm confused.

Lil_Luvr_75's photo
Fri 09/14/07 07:28 AM
Joshy,
I would be careful playing "Matchmaker", it got me in trouble. laugh I believe one will never find a true "exact match" to what one is looking for. It is the lack of the little thing called perfection.

shadowchaser's photo
Fri 09/14/07 07:32 AM
I believe the only one who can truly answer that ? is the great matchmaker in the sky! Laaaaaa!!!! and the angels sing

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Fri 09/14/07 07:39 AM
Ooo joshy don't play matchmaker...
Its dangerouse! :wink:

no photo
Fri 09/14/07 07:46 AM
Joshy, I think there are a couple things going on here.

One -- I have had 6 or 7 women from this site e-mail me saying they would like to date me. They are all a billion miles away. If it was JUST distance, maybe that could be workied around. But there is always distance + some other issue that makes the whole situation impossible. So, while someone may seem very compatible through e-mails or in the forums, when you get down to brass cats, there can be serious obstacles.

Two -- My experiences on other sites have shown me that a LOT of people are not really honest when they say what they are looking for. (They're not always honest when they talk about themselves, either, but that's another thread.) I think some people operate with the mentality that it is best to portray themselves in a certain manner, simply because they perceive that portrayal as being more likely to be well-received. The "wolf in sheep's clothing."

I have seen a LOT of cases where people started talking on a dating site, and then met in person, and things simply didn't work. I'm not saying ALL of these involve one party deliberately deceiving the other -- although I am sure SOME do, having been on the receiving end of two of those last year! -- but there is, at the very least, some misinterpretation or misperception on the part of at least one of the parties involved.

I guess my point is that people aren't always looking for what they say they are looking for. That can muck up things if someone with good intentions, such as yourself, tries to help them find someone who, on the surface at least, seems reasonably compatible.

But you raise a good point that there may be people on here who are totally unaware of another person who might be a decent match -- I can see this happening, especially if one or both have no real presence in the forums. (Which necessarily raises the question of how does ANYONE know about them, if that's the case?)

I don't think there would be anything wrong with making a vague hint -- "Hey, have you ever looked at so-and-so's profile?" -- but I'd be reluctant to say something like "Hey, I saw someone who sounds like exactly what you're looking for!" based on what you know of someone just from a dating site. People are often too complicated -- not to mention occasionally deceptive -- to put yourself out on a limb THAT far.




TxsGal3333's photo
Fri 09/14/07 07:49 AM
Awww just because others may thnink two people match that is not always true. Just because they seem to be lookin for the same thing there has to be an attraction between then. Some yes to look for that atraction as far as looks, personality etc. There is much more than just reading profiles. For instances maybe I was to have the qualitys that one is looking for but... one was over looked. He was looking for someone slim and trim due to full figured women did not appeal to him at all. Well ya can tell them how do you know if you don't talk to them. Truth is they are not gonna go that fair if the attraction is not even there in the first place. Would be great if we could put everyones names i na computer and all that matched would be someone you be with lo. Nice thought. But now if you know someone personaly and have gotten to know them and you know someone else and they could possible be a very good match ya it is possible they either dont talk to each other much or maybe not at all. Hey if ya brave drop the hint ya never know lol.bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile

no photo
Fri 09/14/07 11:47 AM
If they can stimulate my mind, make me laugh like a bowl full of jelly, be honest, then I will maybe give them a look...its true that we must also be psychically attracted to them...distance, acceptance of each other faults and chemistry all have to come into play......and the fact that you need to actually psychically meet these people.

But then what happens when they live in a completely different country? What then? Do you drop everything and everyone for that??? Its a very hard choice to make.....flowerforyou

carebear19622's photo
Fri 09/14/07 11:55 AM
yes you move to Canada and start a new lifelaugh flowerforyou

no photo
Fri 09/14/07 11:57 AM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh awwwwwwwww carebear!~!!!blushing drinker flowerforyou

carebear19622's photo
Fri 09/14/07 11:59 AM
I'm not good at subtlebigsmile

no photo
Fri 09/14/07 12:00 PM
hahaha no youre not!!!laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

carebear19622's photo
Fri 09/14/07 12:02 PM
at least you know where you stand with me:wink:

no photo
Fri 09/14/07 12:08 PM
About 5 ft 2 :wink:

no photo
Fri 09/14/07 12:09 PM
I think you shoud INTRODUCE THEM

carebear19622's photo
Fri 09/14/07 12:09 PM
laugh laugh laugh too cuteflowerforyou drinker

no photo
Fri 09/14/07 12:10 PM
dont worry about other people Joshy....it will only make u more confused....just worry aoabut yourself fella!!laugh flowerforyou