Topic: also
no photo
Tue 09/25/07 07:30 PM
i could pay $160/hr to express it in a room behind a closed door to an educated professional but for the sake of convenience i'll post it here at this time and save a tab or two for someone who really needs it.

i miss my dead brother. it's as if he vanished into thin air. he was so handsome in his coffin. they did a nice job for the folks. they won't let me say it anymore. as if he never even existed.

joe1973's photo
Tue 09/25/07 07:46 PM
advice is needed eh? ohk.well when my mo passed away over 15 years ago i wanted to say a few things.i was not allowed to do so.on 3 levels,1 being suicidal.2 being i was in SEVERE shock over it.3 being unable to go ANYWHERE near her coffin.i myself did not want to believe that she had passed on.

joe1973's photo
Tue 09/25/07 07:47 PM
mom not mo.sorry about that.

iRon's photo
Tue 09/25/07 07:48 PM
Its sad that the people her choose to turn their back on some here that posted something under help.noway .


Dude seek help 160 per hr is a small price for your wellness,

Marie55's photo
Tue 09/25/07 10:45 PM
Have you checked with your local hospital? Most have groups for people who have lost family members, and they are usually free or maybe a donation, but nothing like the fee you posted. I work in a small hospital and they have a bereavement group that meets, all people are welcome to attend. The hospital also has social workers on staff and they will meet with patients (for free) and help to sort out feelings and help you find services that may be more affordable or different groups if your hospital does not provide this service. I have talked to our local social workers, I work there so they have become friends too, but one of them helped me get my dad into the nursing home and he was also very supportive right after my brother died. I would check into your hospital and see what they offer, many times it is free or very low cost. Groups have a lot of power and all the people are there for the same reason you are.

I am sorry for the loss of your brother, my brother died in June, so I understand how hard the feelings can be to deal with. Don't walk around ignoring your feelings or holding them in, but talk to your family doctor, they know what is available in your area too. Churches are a good resource too, pastors or ministers. Again, I am sorry for your loss, but please pursue some kind of group where you can share your feelings about your brother. You need to process your grief and a group is the perfect place to do it. Take care.

oldsage's photo
Wed 09/26/07 04:36 AM
Ck your local YWCA, for programs for men. Wife & I went to seperate groups at the Omaha YWCA & it helped put us back on track. I will always speak very highly their programs. Cost is according to ability to pay.

countrysoul64's photo
Wed 09/26/07 05:52 AM
churches also have groups and so do local hospitals for grieving and loss of loved ones. They are usually free groups. Some times it helps to be wiht others so you know you aren't alone and grieving to different degrees is normal and to see others going through it helps to let oyu know you aren't alone in it.

no photo
Wed 09/26/07 06:18 AM
Hi ak0,

The death of someone we love, a close friend or family member, is an event we all have to face sometime.

Learning to survive the feelings of sadness and loss is a process that is normal and usually time-limited. The process Involves both emotional and behavioral reactions. It takes us through the initial response of shock and sadness, through acceptance and understanding, and eventually to the rebuilding of our lives.

Here are some "Do's & Don't's" that may help you a little bit,

Do:

* Talk to others who have experienced loss.
* Speak of the meaning of the loss to you, the ways in which you will miss the deceased.
* Seek support directly from those that are able to give it. A hug may be important.
* Stay with a routine, stick to a schedule, even if you feel you are just going through the motions.
* Recognize the feelings for what they are rather than why they are. Knowing what the feeling is can help in dealing with it.
* Use writing, art, and music to let out your feelings and thoughts.
* Be forgiving and patient with yourself. It is all right to make mistakes or lose your concentration.
* Be good to yourself. Take the rest you need, the walk you enjoy, the gift you would like.
* Give yourself time. Time does heal, but how long it takes is an individual thing.
* I know you don't want to spend $160.00 Per Hour, but seek guidance from a source that can offer you both wisdom and empathy.

Do not:

* Try to make major life decisions too quickly.
* Numb your pain with depressive chemicals such as alcohol or other drugs.
* Deny your feelings.
* Isolate or hide out from yourself and others
* Expect every day to get better. Accept ups and downs.

Sorry about the loss of your brother, and Good Luck to you !!!

Benz !!!




no photo
Wed 09/26/07 08:29 AM
thank you for your time. who really has time to grieve. i was already trying to figure out how to have breakfast after the gym. thanks, guys.