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| Topic: Struggling to maintain my composure | |
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My children have recently lost their step-mother figure and I my better half and I am struggling to maintain my composure. I am very broken at the moment and everything my children do is just a nonstop reminder of our loss. My kids are very sad and torn right now. It came out of nowhere with no real warning. We all feel so lost. They are walking around with hurt just dripping off their faces. I have to keep walking out of the room or outside just to catch my breathe.
Does anyone have any advice for a hurt partial family? |
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It depends on the reason for your loss, has she passed away or did she just leave, so many questions, so many answers
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She left. Sorry for leaving that Key detail out.
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it helps to know the ages of the children, I have worked with children my whole life but this is always difficult
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11 and 14
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they feel at the moment that they weren't loved otherwise she wouldn't have left, all you can do is reassure them of your love for them. They will also think that they did something to make her leave, this is so difficult because you are hurting as much as they are
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Fri 12/12/14 04:17 PM
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My children have recently lost their step-mother figure and I my better half and I am struggling to maintain my composure. I am very broken at the moment and everything my children do is just a nonstop reminder of our loss. My kids are very sad and torn right now. It came out of nowhere with no real warning. We all feel so lost. They are walking around with hurt just dripping off their faces. I have to keep walking out of the room or outside just to catch my breathe. Does anyone have any advice for a hurt partial family? Why do you feel you have to keep your composure? Your children are learning coping skills at this very moment from you. It is therapeutic to cry and talk of this with your kids.. They have a right to get out what they are feeling as well. If they are unable to express themselves due to the grief, per se, have them draw or color some of their feelings out.. (A crude form of Art Therapy..) Feelings of abandonment, guilt, etc is not to be taken lightly, especially for children at any age... Everyone sitting down with a professional might be needed... Pastor, Therapist, Child Psychologist, etc. Just a few thoughts... Best Wishes... |
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stop creating an environment of self pity and self sympathy...
as if someone died... when she simply left... obviously there were many things about the environment there she could no longer tolerate or wanted to be around. and it's not hard to figure out what. |
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My children have recently lost their step-mother figure and I my better half and I am struggling to maintain my composure. I am very broken at the moment and everything my children do is just a nonstop reminder of our loss. My kids are very sad and torn right now. It came out of nowhere with no real warning. We all feel so lost. They are walking around with hurt just dripping off their faces. I have to keep walking out of the room or outside just to catch my breathe. Does anyone have any advice for a hurt partial family? Since she was the one who left, she made a choice, not something that just happened. I don't know the circumstances that led to her leaving, but as she was the step mother and left them, she doesn't deserve the kids and she is not your 'better' half'!! It is her loss...so, don't feel sorry for yourself and your kids. She didn't deserve you and the kids! So, gather your kids and tell them that. Be their strength and let them be your strength too. It helps to cry about it together and voice out how all of you felt. I had done that with my kids, we cried but we brought everything into the open. No second guessing how each of us felt... just lay it on the table! Then, you will be ready to move on once you have addressed the issues. I hope this will work for you too, cos' it did for me. Best wishes anyway.... and stay strong! 
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Edited by
davidben1
on
Sat 12/13/14 03:44 AM
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oopsie
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Edited by
davidben1
on
Sat 12/13/14 04:04 AM
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I have lost all my friends over the years due to lifestyle changes for the better, I have lost my past relationship and I have very very little family left. I am only 35, this should not be the norm. What does a person do to maintain when one has so little? And the od thing is is that I am funny, goofy, caring, loving, loyal, trustworthy, decent looking, in shape, hard working, snuggly lol, good with conversation, passionate, willing to try just about anything, outgoing, good listener, etc etc etc.
I hope this is posted in the proper place and if not I do apologize. ____________________________________________________________ Op... your post from yesterday above... and today here, you inform you have 11 and 14 year old children... but this same one say "one self has so little left"??? what does that say about how much one actually value it's two children... and one declare it self a great listener and caring... but your "other half" left to your great surprise...  please... anyhow... i thought i would share your other post here so as many as possible could be dazzled by the fine list of character traits listed... beautiful traits indeed... loved the etc etc etc... you are indeed an incredible being... perhaps posting this here will help spread the warmth and vibrancy of all those awesome traits, so as many as possible can enjoy them... good luck incredible being. peace |
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A loss in the family either through loss or bereavement is always difficult. You are the only one as head of family who has to grieve & pull the rest of the family together & use this as a learning experience & be strong. I know from your post you can do this!
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