Is this how a female thinks?


If I had a penis I'd wear it outside
In cafes and carlots with pomp and with pride
If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper
I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper
If I had a penis I'd take it to parties
Stretch it and stroke it and shout it at smarties
I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay
I'd stuff it in turkeys on Thanksgiving Day

I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stickshifts
I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts
I'd peek around corners
I'd aim at my toilet
I'd poke it at foreigners
And soap it and oil it
If I had a penis I'd run to my mother
Comb out the hair and compare it to brother
I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would endulge
Pants would seem tighter and buckle and buldge

A penis to plunder, a penis to push
Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush
A penis to love me, a penis to share...
To pick up and play with when nobody's there

I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle my chair
I'd play with my fly, albeit with care
I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets
Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets
I'd stick it in vacuums on french verandas
Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas
And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches,
Poolhalls and potholes and bottles and *****es...

Zucchinies and zebras, tomatoes, tomatoes,
And pineapple pumpkins, and gulches and gratoes,
And mellons and marshmellows...

Gloves and gorillas
Slurpies and slippers
Chinooks and chinchillas...

A penis to plunder, a penis to push
Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush
A penis to love me, a penis to share...
To pick up and play with when nobody's there

If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain
I'd force it on females
I'd pee like a fountain...

If I had a penis I'd still be a girl,
But I'd make much more money and conquer the world.

omg too funny!!!!

Thats agood one....cause I luv my boo's

Did you ever hear the joke about the little girl that had everything?

There was a little girl who had everything but one day a little boy told her he had something she didn't have.

They bickered back and forth until the little boy pulled down his pants and said "See,you don't have one of these"

The little girl then pulled down her pants and said "yeah but with one of these I can have as many of those as I want"

lol

Also brings to mind the saying.

It's really nice to visit but I really don't want to live there....lol