Topic: Really?!
Natureboy98204's photo
Tue 05/19/15 11:07 PM
Edited by Natureboy98204 on Tue 05/19/15 11:08 PM
Why is it so difficult to find a woman who knows the meaning of being a woman? I'm a hardworking single father who runs a successful business however, I remain single. When I am not working I attend classes and spend time with my 14yr old son. I enjoy bowling, movies, walks and just a great conversation. I'm simple man who doesn't ask for much. So why is there no one out there for me? Am I that unattractive? All comments welcomed....

no photo
Tue 05/19/15 11:29 PM
Stay strong my brother, the right booty who will respect you is out there.

makemeloveyou1987's photo
Wed 05/20/15 12:04 AM
sir you dont need to find true love .. it will come in right time :)

germanchoclate1981's photo
Wed 05/20/15 12:42 AM
People don't believe the overall negative effect of (anti)social (not) networking on society when it comes to actual dating and real life relationships. Sure, it's good for staying in contact with friends and family that don't live nearby but how many people do you know that have a highschool football team Skype video conference call? I know 0. I don't and won't fb. I don't tweet, instagram, photobuckett, or any of that. I refuse. Nothing good is going to come to me there that I can't get in an email or phone call and I don't get many of those that aren't business related or spam.
It's not me, it's not you, it's where technology is leading society. It should be society leading technology but we all know that isn't the case anymore. Our attention spans are smaller than a gnat's nuts, I think I recall an abstract of a social study from 2010 said we had about 37 seconds before someone viewed another profile. So in less time than it takes you to urinate your profile has been skimmed and passed over for then next guy. That was before most people had smartphones or tablets. We used to write letters and send care packages, you knew your mail carrier by name and all. Now when you call someone and get voicemail you're lucky to get a text saying LOL or ttyl, if you get any response at all.
It's as simple as this, every 10 minutes on a phone tablet or computer a woman has access to 100 men or more at her fingertips. They don't all use them that way but if they want it it's there. Women complain that there aren't any good men around but if you live more than 15 minutes away they don't want to talk to you or they use you until they find someone more convenient.
You're not alone. There are tons of guys in your shoes and we have to compete with bisexual and lesbianism more than ever before too. Keep doing your thing and don't settle for a girl that doesn't deserve you.

mikey5360's photo
Wed 05/20/15 02:02 AM
I believe there is someone here for everyone....
So welcome and good luck...drinker

Natureboy98204's photo
Wed 05/20/15 10:14 PM
I would like to thank each one of you that took the time to reply to my post. All of you had some great responses and I do appreciate the insight and view point of others....

SuzQ66's photo
Wed 05/20/15 10:17 PM
I understand your frustrations, when the heck do we get to find that person who's right for us? What if i ran him off last week wiht one of my smart a$$ comments?

rug212001's photo
Wed 05/20/15 10:19 PM

I understand your frustrations, when the heck do we get to find that person who's right for us? What if i ran him off last week wiht one of my smart a$$ comments?


Then would he really have been the right one?

JustScribbles's photo
Wed 05/20/15 10:25 PM
When dating used to be important to me, I likened it to mining diamonds. You've got to move a LOT of dirt to find the gems.

It's lots different now. I get more attention from folks because I'm not so focused on hooking up. Don't know why. More relaxed? More focused on bein' friendly than bein' frisky? Really don't know, but when it stopped being the reason I breathe it got a whole bunch easier.

*shrugs*

SuzQ66's photo
Wed 05/20/15 10:25 PM


I understand your frustrations, when the heck do we get to find that person who's right for us? What if i ran him off last week wiht one of my smart a$$ comments?


Then would he really have been the right one?


Good point! If he's right for me, my sarcasm should be a turn on rofl

no photo
Wed 05/20/15 10:38 PM
Edited by SassyEuro2 on Wed 05/20/15 10:39 PM

Why is it so difficult to find a woman who knows the meaning of being a woman? I'm a hardworking single father who runs a successful business however, I remain single. When I am not working I attend classes and spend time with my 14yr old son. I enjoy bowling, movies, walks and just a great conversation. I'm simple man who doesn't ask for much. So why is there no one out there for me? Am I that unattractive? All comments welcomed....
[/quote .

" Why is it do difficult to find a woman who knows the meaning of being a woman?

what


Welcome & Good luck


may0703's photo
Wed 05/20/15 10:48 PM
Keep calm, stay strong, and look around you.

Perhaps someone is also looking at you.

Good luck :wink:

SuzQ66's photo
Wed 05/20/15 10:52 PM


Why is it so difficult to find a woman who knows the meaning of being a woman? I'm a hardworking single father who runs a successful business however, I remain single. When I am not working I attend classes and spend time with my 14yr old son. I enjoy bowling, movies, walks and just a great conversation. I'm simple man who doesn't ask for much. So why is there no one out there for me? Am I that unattractive? All comments welcomed....
[/quote .

" Why is it do difficult to find a woman who knows the meaning of being a woman?

what


Maybe you need to define what you feel the meaning of being a woman is?

no photo
Wed 05/20/15 11:00 PM



Why is it so difficult to find a woman who knows the meaning of being a woman? I'm a hardworking single father who runs a successful business however, I remain single. When I am not working I attend classes and spend time with my 14yr old son. I enjoy bowling, movies, walks and just a great conversation. I'm simple man who doesn't ask for much. So why is there no one out there for me? Am I that unattractive? All comments welcomed....
[/quote .

" Why is it do difficult to find a woman who knows the meaning of being a woman?

what


Maybe you need to define what you feel the meaning of being a woman is?


ONLY talking about YOURSELF & saying that, sounds like "Not good enough for me.... "

germanchoclate1981's photo
Thu 05/21/15 01:55 AM
Suzy, sarcasm is fine as long as its funny and not at the expense of that person's pride/ego/id.
Pride is a sin, egos are more fragile than eggshells and Sigmund Freud was a cocaine addict, but these are defining parts of our psyche. Yes he still could have been the one. Since everybody believes in these Hollywood/ reality (:laughing: )tv lifestyles and happy endings we think we can live our lives happy 24/7 and anyone who doesn't give us that lifestyle is "drama/ not giving 100%/ holing us down, etc."
In REAL life there are problems, issues, difficulties for everyone PERIOD. Anyone that says they are loving life or always happy is a liar. You may have a sunny disposition or exude confidence most of the time but if you lose a family member or have to care for someone who is suffering and you don't feel the other end of the emotional spectrum then there is something seriously wrong with you. Unfortunately that describes millions of people. I'm absolutely IMPERFECT, I know it and I'm ok with that. Knowing it makes me want to be better than I am today.

TMommy's photo
Thu 05/21/15 05:54 AM
Oooo I absolutely freely admit to being imperfect. some days I can take in world with a smile and some days I can take your head off if I don't like your tone. No one is perfect and the funny thing about online dating is that it opens up a gigantic pond to fish out of but..in many ways makes it harder to meet someone close by

no photo
Thu 05/21/15 09:05 AM
I am perfect.

SuzQ66's photo
Thu 05/21/15 11:12 AM

Suzy, sarcasm is fine as long as its funny and not at the expense of that person's pride/ego/id.
Pride is a sin, egos are more fragile than eggshells and Sigmund Freud was a cocaine addict, but these are defining parts of our psyche. Yes he still could have been the one. Since everybody believes in these Hollywood/ reality (:laughing: )tv lifestyles and happy endings we think we can live our lives happy 24/7 and anyone who doesn't give us that lifestyle is "drama/ not giving 100%/ holing us down, etc."
In REAL life there are problems, issues, difficulties for everyone PERIOD. Anyone that says they are loving life or always happy is a liar. You may have a sunny disposition or exude confidence most of the time but if you lose a family member or have to care for someone who is suffering and you don't feel the other end of the emotional spectrum then there is something seriously wrong with you. Unfortunately that describes millions of people. I'm absolutely IMPERFECT, I know it and I'm ok with that. Knowing it makes me want to be better than I am today.


Chocolate, I'm not sure which of my posts you are referring to. If it's the one about my sarcasm, well, I admit to it, and don't pretend otherwise. Most of it is aimed at myself. Or in the case of being on a dating site, it is aimed at those who ignore things I clearly state(such as I won't share other contact info unless I feel comfortable, or they should read my profile instead of asking about info that is clearly stated there)and repeatedly argue against my feelings/beliefs. In real life, I have plenty of issues and difficulties, and have never made the claim of being of a sunny disposition 100% of the time, or 50% of the time, nor do I expect others to have an issue free life or be "up" 24-7. I've lost my Dad, who was ill for several years and was one of my only true anchors, and have lost many other abilities and capabilities and people in my life due to a disabling disease I developed in 1995, and I will mourn these things forever. There are many attitudes and behaviors I have developed that work for me to deal with my issues, and to borrow a phrase/name, I am who I am. I do have empathy for others. That does not mean I will allow them to dictate my choices or personality, took that road once. Perfection?? Oh my, no no no, I have no desire to be labeled perfect in any way shape or form.

If you are referring to the post I made about defining the meaning of being a woman, many of the everyday things that seem to go into that definition are difficult to impossible for me to accomplish. Picking up a gallon of milk some days is beyond me, and other physical capabilities can be similarly affected, as well as emotional resources. Backs have been turned. It's only fair that a man define what he expects a woman to be, that way those of us who claim to be women can decide if we can rise to his expectations, or fail dismally.

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 05/21/15 01:00 PM

Why is it so difficult to find a woman who knows the meaning of being a woman? I'm a hardworking single father who runs a successful business however, I remain single. When I am not working I attend classes and spend time with my 14yr old son. I enjoy bowling, movies, walks and just a great conversation. I'm simple man who doesn't ask for much. So why is there no one out there for me? Am I that unattractive? All comments welcomed....


Ok lets start off with a welcome to Mingle.

I am an old lady but I have been through this with sons and many friends/clients so what I am going to say is not to bust your chops but to help you get what I think you are after. Which by the way doesn't sound too bad.

Just for the heck of it take a deep breath, relax a little, maybe grab a piece of paper and doodle some notes to self.

Probably would say start out with your profile and this post and change all the gender parts to the reverse. Would you be attracted to someone who came off with the same comments? Or would it sound aggressive, angry, blaming, like her stuff was just over rated? Look real hard at your photos. If some gal (all be it pretty and fairly well dressed) used your body language and facial expressions would you feel engaged or want to shake your head and punch the next button? There might be a lot of your answers just there.

Is it possible that you could tweak a few things and change the tone to something more approachable? I am not saying wuss out just easy does it; you don't have to come on like a line backer in the art of dating. Take the warrior trappings off, it is great you are successful but come on so are many of your female peers. Most likely the ones that will capture your attention and eventually will join your life. I doubt you are some backwoods southern throw back that is looking for a house slave. My guess you are looking for a modern, educated, feminine partner to love and cherish and actually enjoy life together.

But my guess is in your personal life you are using man skills that work in a mans world very well but bomb in a single's world. Well at least in a woman's world. Especially if you want what would be described as a traditional woman which would be relationship/ wife/mother material.

Sure times have changed but women are still women. What would be your standards of how you would want your Mom, sister, or close lady friend treated? Would you want her to feel she was safe? Would you want her to feel you made time for her? Would you want her to feel she was a priority in someone's life? Would you want some one to talk at them or with them?

I also think you want to be careful about culture shock. I moved from the south to the Pacific Northwest when I was about your age. And unless it has changed or you are radically different than the young men your age I know you are a bit of a fish on dry land. And the competition is FEIRCE. Being successful ect. where you are at is nothing special. If you are even the least bit homesick and struggling with fitting in to a new community you are not going to be able to beat the bushes hard enough to find what you are used to. Women in your area are used to men coming in and going out and you are just another "for awhile guy" until you prove you are a nice guy. It is a standing social perception that you are going to be like so many and eventually be gone. For a desirable lady who can probably pick any of a dozen men you really have to make the "follow me" sound real good. I pretty much stake my life on it won't be two steps behind you.

Anyhow I hope you relax and have a little to ponder over. Before you bash women in general and here on Mingle try to make a few friends. Turn on a little slow southern charm. If you really got it will come shining through. See if you can find some friendlier pictures and rework your profile and I bet the gals will defrost a little.

Karenn3's photo
Thu 05/21/15 05:27 PM
Sometimes its location. At least I assume so as I am having difficulties as well. Try to stay positive. I think perhaps my match lived in another era and is gone now. But keep fighting the good fight sir. I'll be rooting for you.