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| Topic: some dumb question or is it | |
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Edited by
jr48
on
Mon 06/08/15 12:51 AM
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Are we suppose to make bows in a relationship i.e. For beter.....part.?
Isnt it better to just try to go along nicely. care for one another love one another (honestly) and see what happen along the way? Relationship ends but is it the ego that cause so much hurt? Is happiness inversely proportional to ego. small ego equals big joy? ego defined as the opposite of humility any thoughts advice on how to have a long live partnership that is full of joy? just some thoughts thats keeping my mind busy nowadays. Something thats maybe on yours too or something that you have answers to. otherwise sorry for the dumb questions. |
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Iam soooo confused,have nothing dude,,
good luck on that,, |
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Iam soooo confused,have nothing dude,, good luck on that,, [/quote That makes us two confused minds lets hope some guru will step forward and offer some clarity lol |
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jr all depend on the girl or women or guy ... some have to stay in a relationship to marry because that is part of their culture... or
possibly their religious beliefs matter to them a lot & have to be the same ... but generally some that have already gone through marriage or a very long relationship ... would like to get to know the person for along time ...to see if they are compatible together ... least I would ... I would not jump into a living together relationship unless I felt very comfortable with them or even marriage would not rush into ... and every ones opinion can be different ... just go with what you feel as they say gut feelings ...then you may find the kind of person you want to be with ... |
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Are we suppose to make bows in a relationship i.e. For beter.....part.? Sure. You can make vows. It's called communicating how you feel and being consistent and honest with your expression of them. Or are you asking "before the wedding ceremony are there supposed to be any rituals we go through where we publicly make declarations of our intent and commitment? Are we supposed to sit down and hand someone a poetic contract binding our behavior legally?" No. You can. But it wouldn't be all that smart to do so. Isnt it better to just try to go along nicely. care for one another love one another (honestly) and see what happen along the way? Good god I hope not. "See what happen along the way?" It's like you're saying a relationship is something that happens to you, and if you don't get a constant good feeling then something must be wrong so you better get out of there or something. And all the time you need to sit there with a social facade on your face just to get along nicely, avoiding conflict and honest emotional expression. Relationship ends but is it the ego that cause so much hurt? You mean is it just instinctively lashing out that causes so much hurt? Sometimes. But sometimes people are actually trying to learn and understand and figure out their surroundings and the people in it. Sometimes just to figure out how to plan their day. Sometimes hurt is simply caused by new information that contradicts the old. e.g. you think they're faithful, their behavior proves they aren't, that behavior has been consistent, but you've been deluding yourself and not seeing it, rationalizing it away, therefore the relationship isn't what you thought it was. Is happiness inversely proportional to ego. small ego equals big joy? ego defined as the opposite of humility Is happiness inversely proportional to self worth? It can be. If you hate yourself, then the smallest joys can feel magnificent, even though in a person with "normal" ego would feel the joy in a normal way, therefore less incredible than the person with smaller ego. Although, it might take a lot more work to get through the constant push to prove a lack of self worth in order to feel the littlest amount of joy. Some people with small ego's (as defined by the OP) will sabotage feeling joy in order to try and maintain their small ego. any thoughts advice on how to have a long live partnership that is full of joy? http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/how-to-be-happy/art-20045714 There's a start. |
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Hii , any bong beauty out here?
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What exactly is it you are asking here darling?is it necessary to bend over and.kiss someone's azz just to make things work? I hope not but compromisse does play a part
yes at end of relationship there.is often wounded pride on both sides |
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<~~~~~~This guy has no pride!
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Egos play a role just the same as they do when you are driving, playing a game, stating an opinion, or having an argument. If you get too caught up in being "right" or declared the "winner", you will lose. Once your audience goes, you are left talking to yourself.
A big ego doesn't necessarily mean a relationship is doomed. As long as it doesn't worm it's way into the home or lead to infidelity. For longevity's sake you will have to concede at times. Would you rather be right about which way the toilet paper comes off the roll or be loved? (Over the top ladies! Over the top!  )
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Edited by
jr48
on
Mon 06/08/15 04:48 PM
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What exactly is it you are asking here darling?is it necessary to bend over and.kiss someone's azz just to make things work? I hope not but compromisse does play a part yes at end of relationship there.is often wounded pride on both sides Hell no i wont bend to kiss someone azz out of necissity but i did when i was inlove and will probably do it again But you got some good points thanks for the tip |
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So much.of this depends on kind of person you become involved with yes? Givers and takers in this world of ours
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RF makes good sense when it comes to disagreement/ arguement
is it more important to win or find best possible solution for those involved? |
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So much.of this depends on kind of person you become involved with yes? Givers and takers in this world of ours I beg to disagree. So much of these defends upon you bevause in the end its you who has control over your actions and more importanty your feelings |
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Of course but I have seen many do this..in order to please a high maintainence person they run around like chicken with head cut off fetching whatever it is she points to next and somehow. convince themselves that this is love
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I am firm believer that we do indeed control what comes out of our mouth even in midst of heated arguement
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Of course but I have seen many do this..in order to please a high maintainence person they run around like chicken with head cut off fetching whatever it is she points to next and somehow. convince themselves that this is love Not me i just ignore the nagging until becomes uncomfortable by then i run away for an hour a day uuntil forever 
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Got you point problem is that its almost impossible to prove a point until you reach that point yourself. But i have on rare moments experience that estate of no ego and i can tell you its feels magnificent
To bad ego keeps comin back Are we suppose to make bows in a relationship i.e. For beter.....part.? Sure. You can make vows. It's called communicating how you feel and being consistent and honest with your expression of them. Or are you asking "before the wedding ceremony are there supposed to be any rituals we go through where we publicly make declarations of our intent and commitment? Are we supposed to sit down and hand someone a poetic contract binding our behavior legally?" No. You can. But it wouldn't be all that smart to do so. Isnt it better to just try to go along nicely. care for one another love one another (honestly) and see what happen along the way? Good god I hope not. "See what happen along the way?" It's like you're saying a relationship is something that happens to you, and if you don't get a constant good feeling then something must be wrong so you better get out of there or something. And all the time you need to sit there with a social facade on your face just to get along nicely, avoiding conflict and honest emotional expression. Relationship ends but is it the ego that cause so much hurt? You mean is it just instinctively lashing out that causes so much hurt? Sometimes. But sometimes people are actually trying to learn and understand and figure out their surroundings and the people in it. Sometimes just to figure out how to plan their day. Sometimes hurt is simply caused by new information that contradicts the old. e.g. you think they're faithful, their behavior proves they aren't, that behavior has been consistent, but you've been deluding yourself and not seeing it, rationalizing it away, therefore the relationship isn't what you thought it was. Is happiness inversely proportional to ego. small ego equals big joy? ego defined as the opposite of humility Is happiness inversely proportional to self worth? It can be. If you hate yourself, then the smallest joys can feel magnificent, even though in a person with "normal" ego would feel the joy in a normal way, therefore less incredible than the person with smaller ego. Although, it might take a lot more work to get through the constant push to prove a lack of self worth in order to feel the littlest amount of joy. Some people with small ego's (as defined by the OP) will sabotage feeling joy in order to try and maintain their small ego. any thoughts advice on how to have a long live partnership that is full of joy? http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/how-to-be-happy/art-20045714 There's a start. |
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Haaahaaa
"What.took ya so long at store?" "Brutal traffic" "Uh the store is only mile up road" "Two for one sale?" 
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No, it is not as simple as Ego being "bad."
You have to BE a specific person, in order for someone to even HAVE a real relationship with you. What I mean by that is, that if you set no boundaries, hold to no standards, and instead continuously adjust yourself to try to cater to other peoples' whims, they wont be able to figure out who you are, much less be able to rely on you emotionally. |
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