Tell us 10 things you hate and 10 things you love about your partner, we could all learn from our rights and wrongs.
for me ain't got no partner, i could learn how to keep her happy from your comment, when i finally get one cause i want no more breakups

I hate: moody, temperamental, stubborn, stingy, sulky, uncommunicative, disparaging, disloyal, vindictive, arrogant.

I love: affectionate, patient, charming, sweet, kind, caring, attentive, complimentary, generous, understanding, easily forgiving.

I Hate Liar's players, cheaters , rude. lazy, crazy, bad temper ,Nosy, self centered .

I like honest, loving caring, romantic. funny. hard working, understanding, for giving, thoughtful, responsible.

could someone refusing to change his decision or position on something be referred to as being stuborn

what about a guy who is forgiving but never forget, mayb at one point or the other he talks about what you did in the past which he actually forgave you for

Hate is a rather strong word.
If I "hated" something about my partner...they wouldn't be my partner.

You should feel passionate about someone, feeling a passionate dislike for someone, or something about them, will not help any relationship with them.

10 things I've loved about partners?
Nothing that would be relevant to you.

I love reading things like this, though: "affectionate, patient, charming, sweet, kind, caring, attentive, complimentary, generous, understanding, easily forgiving, honest, loving caring, romantic. funny. hard working, understanding, for giving, thoughtful, responsible," that can pretty much describe any Special Olympian.


Here's the thing about that.
What you "learn" isn't like a math equation.
There's no "Ohhhhhhh! The area of a square is just a side squared! That's an absolute equation that I didn't know before and is universal! I can use this anywhere and it's always relevant!"
You don't get to really pick and choose what you learn.
You just get to discover what you've learned.
And at best that's hidden in a whoooooooole bunch of what you want to think you learned, believe you learned, and what you've already learned and have been putting into use your entire life and only just now discovering the tip of the iceberg in the cycles and routines you put yourself.

Not to mention, just because you did something "wrong" with one partner, it doesn't necessarily mean it will be "wrong" with the next partner.
And really, if you rely on your ex partner to tell you what you did "wrong" you could simply be receiving information on what they think you did wrong, rather than anything representing the actual reason.

We "could" all learn from our rights and wrongs. But we all "could" build a jumbo jet in our basements and fly our houses to Nepal.


That's a scary belief.
What you are saying with this is "I don't want to really try in a relationship. I don't want to pay attention to who they are. I want to be handed some sort of universal methods of behavior I can just apply to any arbitrary individual in order to get the desired response. I need facade training tips."

You can't learn how to keep someone happy from others.
You have to learn how to communicate and pay attention to your partner to figure out what makes them happy or what they want.


There is no guarantee that if you make them the happiest person in the world that you won't experience a breakup with them.
For example some people don't just bumble around life trying to maximize their "happy" juices, and prefer things like purpose and fulfillment, contentment and meaning. It doesn't make them "happy," but it's what they want.



I think it could be argued that if you never consciously forget then you aren't really forgiving.
I mean under hypnosis or drugs or something someone might be able to tease out of your memory what you did at 4 p.m. on October 6th, 1998. It's in your brain.
But otherwise, you've most likely "forgotten" it.

The closer to your consciousness the more likely it is to influence your direct behavior.

You may tell yourself you've "forgiven" them, but if you just can't forget the memory, then more than likely you are keeping it close for a reason and it's going to influence your subconscious behavior towards them. You may be one second closer to an argument, or start paying just a liiiiiiitle bit more attention to their flaws, and in the long run sabotage your relationship.
You just may not know that's what you're doing because you want to perceive yourself as a "forgiving" type of person, so you don't want to face the possibility that you aren't.


Why would you talk about it? Because they want to? Because it's bothering them? Or bothering you and it's "time" to talk about it?
If the latter, then you haven't really forgiven them, you've just buried it waiting to use it for your own ulterior motives.


Yes.
That's pretty much a definition; "having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something,"

You made a whole lot of points, you made me see things the way they really are, and have leart alot from your write up...
but in terms of forgiving and forgetting i kind of disagree with you, even though i have forgiving her there are circumstances that make you remember those flaws, there are flaws you can't forget and anytime you remember them it burns you inside. maybe have truely not forgiving her but i have i just cant forget

I hate..
1. controlling
2. lack of affection
3. manipulative
4 boring
5. can't be counted on
6. dishonest
7. shows no emotion
8. insulting
9. game player
10. insincerity


let me think on what I love..
1. trust
2. affectionate
3. decent
4. honest
5. considerate
6. sweet
7. sense of humor
8 kind
9. intelligent
10. confident

I've got no lover, but if I DID ever have another one, I'd like:


A charmer,
a free thinker,
A smoker,
Someone who likes to hug,
a man who knows his worth,
someone with self-respect and self-acceptance,
someone who likes to laugh,
good hygiene,
someone who likes to make love a lot,
a smiler.


Things that turn me off in a man:
Bad hygiene [ a good excuse to get the Febreze out]…
a drug taker,
putting his career before the relationship,
not considerate,
not sexual at all,
someone who brags,
a miserable face,
a narcissist,
in a constant war with his ex gf/ex wife,
a cold temperament.